dec 1, 1887 / SHERLOCK HOLMES first appears in print
dec 1, 1897 / Baseketball is invented by Canadian doctor James Naismith
dec 1, 1955 / Rosa Parks ignites a bus boycott eventually forcing desegregation
dec 3, 1979 / 11 fans crushed to death at WHO concert in Cincinnati's Riverfront Stadium
dec 3, 1984 / Union-Carbide leaks toxic pesticide gas in Bhopal,India killing upwards of 5,000 people
dec 5, 1901 / Walt Disney is born
dec 6, 1922 / General Electric is launched
dec 7, 1941 / Infamy: Japan attacks Pearl Harbor
dec 7, 1975 / Trail of tears: Indonesia invades East Timor
dec 10, 1953 / the first issue of PLAYBOY is published
dec 12, 1915 / Frank Sinatra is born
dec 16, 1773 / The Boston Tea Party
dec 17, 1903 / the Wright Bros. mark the world's 1st flight of an airplane
dec 21, 1879 / Joseph Stalin is born
dec 21, 1975 / Terrorists hold hostages at OPEC headquarters in Vienna
dec 21, 1988 / Pan Am Flight 103 explodes over Lockerbie,Scotland
dec 22, 1972 / Managua,Nicaragua earthquake kills over 12,000 people
dec 22, 1989 / Romanian dictator Nicolae Ceausescu and his wife Elena are arrested & both tried n' executed 3 days later.
dec 23, 1823 / THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS first published
dec 23, 1948 / 7 Japanese war criminals are executed in Tokyo
dec 24, 1818 / SILENT NIGHT sung for the 1st time in Austria
dec 24, 1865 / the kkk is formed
dec 25, 800AD / the Holy Roman Empire begins
dec 25, 1914 / Fraternization: Christmas ceasefire on the Western front during WWI
The famous truce. click here
dec 26, 1893 / Mao Tse Tung is born
dec 26, 2004 / Surf's up: tsunami devastates Southeast Asia
THE GREAT WAVE OFF KANAGAWA by Katsushika Hokusai. click here
dec 27, 1945 / Mo' money equals mo' problems: the IMF and World Bank is founded
dec 27, 1979 / Russia invades Afghanistan
dec 28, 1908 / Messina,Italy earthquake n' tsunami kills an estimated 100,000 people
dec 29, 1890 / Wounded Knee massacre of Sioux Indians
dec 31, 1879 / Thomas Edison demonstrates the lightbulb

10YRS AFTER SHUT 'EM DOWN N' SMASH THE STATE

Shortly after the end of WWII in 1947, 23 countries signed a general agreement on tariffs & trade (the GATT) with the purpose to liberalize n' expand woorld trade needing stability & a sense of gloabl community as the key. For 5 decades afterwards the GATT grew adding more member countries & becoming the World Trade Oragnization (WTO) in 1995. With over 150 nations united in the wiriting of a constituition for a single global economy, the WTO controls 90% of world trade & unlike the GATT can impose punishing crippling fines on member countries that don't abide by its laws. Along with the expansion of free trade, the WTO promises to help developing countries benefit fully from the global trading system in a multitude of diverse areas such as transport, labour, communications, culture/entertainment, energy, food & agriculture. But heavy criticisms are levelled citing very little to do with trade nor being free - infact this is an imposed (instead of voted for) system of governance with no control by the people. many are angered that the WTO can esentially break down the borders of countries so that large corporations can be free to operate meaning that aid is just a ruse for plunder and that money values n' profit should obsenely rule over life values with human rights & the environment being subordinated to the needs of commerce. This expense over people will particularly devastate the third world as the WTO forces its will onto the developing nations & western governments: 1995 in the USA sees clean air rules utted with alarming increases in asthma cases, Europe 1998 sees genetically modified foods pushed onto unwanting consumers & the caribbean 1998 witnesses small scale banana growers being crushed by big brand names. Despite all the problems & vocal backlash such as deep concern for public health, poverty, real wages, fraudulent marketing & human rights, the WTO grows becoming more powerful than ever. The meeting in Seattle dubbed the 'Millenium Round' would see new issues added to the existing rules. To a great many this meeting would be a battle for the future...

After the state of emergency, after the rioting & teargas, after the certain loss of law enforcement credibility through excessive police brutality; when the threat of freedom n' democracy (so dubbed according to several media outlets) had cleared & the ultimate collapse of talks resulted, governments would never again be caught off guard as 2 mile exclusion zones would become standard at further international meetings like the WTO and G8 summits; restricting peoples right to dissent even more: in Qatar 2001, the WTO recognizes that access to essential medicines should have primacy over commercial interests. The WTO also agreed to address the needs of poorer countries only to see developing countries walk out of the 2003 Mexico meeting after it was clear that the real agenda was to expand the failed WTO business model. That same year, a leader of the Korean Federation of Advanced Farmers Association (President Lee Kyung Hae) sacrifices himself in protest by standing on top of police barricades & infront of tv cameras stabs himself. He dies during surgery. As further local markets are flooded with imports, an astounding 40,000 Indian farmers commit suicide to escape their debt. 2003 also saw over 36 million people across the globe take part in the largest anti-war protest in history against Bush's invasion of Iraq. By 2007, little progress had been made concerning the WTO Qata promises & the poor countries still end up ignored while millions of American jobs are offshored alongside declining wages & soaring tainted food. Millions more remain frustrated demanding their voices be heard with dignity & respect. But the will of the people committed to anti-globalization activism in sending a loud message by hitting the streets seeking alternatives and saying no to the WTO, IMF (International Monetary Fund) & World Bank programs, will not be broken in trying to better the world: from Washington,DC to Miami, Honduras, Ecuador, Genoa, Switzerland, India, South Korea, Hong Kong, the Phillipines - everywhere n' somewhere, the fight goes on and the battle continues against the huge institutions & their inter/multinational conspiring, corporate takeover methods (complete with false n' negative spin disinformation) that represent everything worng. The crisis is far from over...

BROKEN BOTTLES, BASHING BATONS & BARE BONES



The running battle of activists organizing heavy property damage against Western industrialized economies seems neverending ---

SEATTLE 1999
The WTO, World Bank & IMF brought the anti-globalization movement out of the shadows and unprepared riot police were overwhelmed. The National Guard was called in to restore order, arresting hundreds

QUEBEC 2001
The Summit of the Americas outside the provincial National Assembly drew 20,000 against free trade who tore down a makeshift concrete n' wire fence in mere seconds that had taken over a week to build. A wall of shielded riot cops launched tear gas into the crowds while their horsebacked colleagues stood guard adding to the chaos

ITALY 2001
The G8 summit in Genoa saw an escalation of police brutality turn tragic when 23yr old protestor Carlo Giuliani was shot dead resulting in subsequent meetings transfered to remote areas

ALBERTA 2002
The G8 gathering at a remote ski resort goes off without too much drama

GEORGIA 2004
The G8 meet actually on an island just off the coast with a no-fly zone in place & surface-to-air missiles readied fo a potential terrorist attack or arrival of protestors by air

SCOTLAND 2005
The G8 in Gleneagles encounter a renewed fervor in their detractors which sees 91 arrests & the seizure of numerous weapons

GERMANY 2007
The G8 results in a thousand people injured including 146 cops who got caught up in a street fight with rowdy activists

BRITAIN 2009
The G20 summit in London resulted in thousands of angry protestors taking to the streets against the corpoarte commercial juggernaut: the utopians vs. the pinstripes. A bank was stormed & before long an innocent newspaper vendor lay dead in a hospital from a heart attack thanks to severe police negligence

THAILAND 2009
During the G77 talks, South Africa leads a delegation of developing nations to walk out on Canada's address pusing to abandon much of the Kyoto protocol. The suggested proposal of a new global warming pact is yet but another example of the widening, bitter rift between rich countries & the third world



Advertising revisited. click here

TRYPTOPHAN FOR EVERYONE

ANNA-LIZATION 1

(This was written by Anna back in May 2008. I'm including it here not only because it's stellar writing but it's rather timely with all the Obama-bashing over healthcare since he took the Presidency)

SOCIALIZING A BIT WITH MEDICINE


by Anna Nymity (click here)

"I’ve long considered myself strong, athletic, and tough. I’ve even been criticized by my girlfriends for saying things at times that are harsh—“so why didn’t you just tell him you were worth the raise? Are you a woman or a Bush supporter?” —albeit truthful. But after having rotator cuff surgery, I’m no longer under the delusion that I’m Batwoman, Tankgirl, or Wonderwoman. Although according to that online quiz at http://quiz.myyearbook.com/myspace/FantasyMythology/94821/Which_Women_Super_Hero_Are_You.html, I had quite Amazonian results:

WHICH FEMALE SUPERHERO ARE YOU?
Wonder Woman.
”You are the classic beauty. Your personality is also classic. Laid back type of style. You are the typical princess that usually gets her way.”




But in reality? I’m starting Pain Wimps Anonymous, or PWA. And I sounded pretty much that way when they were giving me the first shot too, “PWAAAAA!” All my friends thought it was so cool that I could get my hands on the hydochowhatever it is and also the Vicodin. I know so many these days, like Rush Limbaugh, love their Vicodin. I’m not the type. But you have to understand, I’m also not into the pain medications. My parents were hippies; well they were wanna be hippies living in Nappa. I saw the panacea that they made for my sister and I. Living for months in a Westfalia. But then there’s the feeling I don’t like. I can’t stand having jumbled thoughts and waking up feeling groggy with an achy head. That being said, I’ve blubbered in a gown with my ass showing to half the hospital. I needed it, and took it.

Healthcare, for me and my mother is not an abstract political topic. From current perspectives, I think the public is also growing tired of how devastating a hospital trip can be without insurance. Now I’m also aware that for many young healthy people who can afford to eat all organic, ride their new mountain bikes for 8 miles per day, and have a personal trainer force them through a techno pumping routine, health care seems less important. But so many people, like my sister, who have children or like me, have inherited taking care of their parents, it’s extremely important due to mounting costs, and insurance decisions that determine the level of care. My mother has dementia due to micro-strokes. Her past experiences with drugs and alcohol is in part the causality. We had insurance companies questioning certain decisions as to what she should have care-wise especially if she were still “using”. I had to put her through a rehab program just to assure them she was not still using and have expert opinion about her sobriety and abstinence from “recreational” drugs. True story.

Most people, I realize, don’t yet feel the bite of an aging parent. However, families feel the pinch. I was fortunate to have a father who helped me be deluded that I was a super hero when it comes to health. In short, the old man did not have much opinion of doctors. At first it was because we were so poor that we didn’t use them apart from when a fever didn’t break. I think I was 5 when I was put in a cold tub and then put back into bed after I had a dose of children’s Bayer Aspirin. That night I had horrible visions of monsters scaling the bed pulling at my feet trying to pull me under and the sounds of my dad yelling, “keep it down and go back to sleep”. Yeah, like I said, toughen up. Later, my dad found a very insidious tool, faith in an Evangelical God, to deny us medical care. He found a way to justify his cheap ass ways. He could spend his money on a “chariot” and a neo-Noah’s Ark (aka a Benz and ski boat) while, well, my sister and I would just use Band Aids on most everything. If I would have received medical treatment after I had fallen from a horse at the age of 12, I wouldn’t have a coccydynia today, with only few options for treatment.

But perhaps there is a changing tide? Perhaps parents and hopefully single people without children are getting the clue that they need healthcare? That all of America needs it so as not to depend widely on emergency and walk-in facilities for their usual care? I can’t help but see our medical services today in a bind. Hell, more than a bind. We are losing hospitals to uninsured people and a laissez faire government. So instead of having insurance for some and none that breaks the bank of hospitals, we need insurance for all to keep money flowing through the hospital system. Therefore we are thinking of universal health care. Now I’ve never really understood the fear of “socialized medicine”. I think those in America who didn’t like the sound of having all people have equal access to medical treatment named it “socialist” to make it sound Stalinist communistic, especially since most Americans do not understand the differences between socialism and communism anyway. Businesses of course fear this socialist medicine becoming a burden to cover employees. But so many of the plans, like Clinton’s, don’t even really resemble the U.K.’s, France’s, or Switzerland’s programs anyway. I lived briefly in the UK and for 3 years in France. I received excellent care. For the flu, ear and nose infections, gyno checks, it was no wait and no hassles. I was shocked at how fast things all went. You know what else was terrific? The training of pharmacists. I could go to a pharmacist who was essentially a doctor who dispensed meds. It was so nice to find out about what ailed me as well as what the drugs did to my bod. So that alone placed much of the burden of doctors back onto the shoulders of pharmacists.

But yes, I must admit to you, that I did not have any surgeries in those countries. But I had friends who did, and they didn’t wait much more than people do here. Don’t believe me? Just wait. Hear me out. I learned just recently that my cousin who lives in Canada had the same surgery I did a year ago. Apparently weak shoulders run in my family, wait, don’t let an insurance company hear that. They may claim I was pre-existing and make me pay my bill. Now both my cousin and I had a rotator cuff tear plus some bone chips from impacts. Up there, they took not only an x-ray but also an MRI that she waited 2 weeks to get. They found her bone chips quickly, a mere 4 days after her films were done. She had to wait a month to get her surgery in Vancouver. That’s it, it was done. 6 weeks, 4 days. Then she went into physical therapy for 3 months and could extend it upon request.

Me? Well I’m in the good old USA! We have the best medical practices in THE WORLD! Right?... Nope. The World Health Organization came out with these rankings ---

The World Health Organization's ranking of the world's health systems.
(Source: WHO World Health Report)
1 France
2 Italy
3 San Marino
4 Andorra
5 Malta
6 Singapore
7 Spain
8 Oman
9 Austria
10 Japan
11 Norway
12 Portugal
13 Monaco
14 Greece
15 Iceland
16 Luxembourg
17 Netherlands
18 United Kingdom
19 Ireland
20 Switzerland
21 Belgium
22 Colombia
23 Sweden
24 Cyprus
25 Germany
26 Saudi Arabia
27 United Arab Emirates
28 Israel
29 Morocco
30 Canada
31 Finland
32 Australia
33 Chile
34 Denmark
35 Dominica
36 Costa Rica
37 *UNITED STATES OF AMERICA*
(http://www.photius.com/rankings/healthranks.html)

So it’s assuring to know that we as a country spend more in our medical system than most countries, even more than Canada, the UK and France, yeah the “socialist” ones. Actually let’s be honest. All of the countries but ours have universal health care. But we still suck down at number 37. Slovenia was number 38. And folks? Costa Rica nudged us out. Costa Rica? Then there’s the issue of Canada and France also killing us on other percentages of child death and longevity rates. I’m really glad I didn’t know this before my own procedure. I kid. Now admittedly those in Canada and France do wait longer, by a week or two, on average for all procedures. However, they have less repeat customers and lower infection rates after procedures. They also have better in home care systems after procedures. They have much better preventative care programs and “care programs” not just for the disabled either. They value their citizens first and attempt to give all the quickest treatments possible.

I have had a rotator cuff problem for 3 years. I have had this problem not from avoiding medical care as dear old dad had me do when younger. That’s three years due to how I was treated. And that’s a damn long wait period if you ask me. I mean think of my cousin in my above example. 6 weeks, 4 days. I first injured it skiing. I fell on my shoulder catching an edge in a mogul patch. I knew I had done some serious damage as when I went to get up; I felt a “pop” and had immediate pain. Then I was given an x-ray and put on anti-inflammatory Naprosin and pain drugs. I felt better after a few weeks of complete rest. But added to my weakened arm was a clicking sound. The doctor told me to wait and see how it would progress, or if it would stop. I did and life went on. One year later, while surfing in large swells, I fell and my board was washed into me. My right shoulder once again gave me pain. My doctor finally referred me to an orthopedic doctor. Why, because I demanded it. I waited a grand total of a month to see this guru of the joints and all that time I was on ibuprofen. Not cool for a pain wimp like me. This rather short and eerily dark featured pale man checked my range of motion and I reported the clicks to him. He just said, “mmm”as if a hair were tickling his uvula. I received steroids and a muscle relaxant and pain killer. And indeed it felt better 4 weeks later. And hell, I was busy working and didn’t really have time. If the doctor said I’d get better with these meds, I trusted him. This last episode in March, 2008, occurred when I was diving for a volleyball. I landed on my right arm in the sand and this time I heard the “pop” and I had shooting pains, just as before. In fact, this time I passed out from the pain. I was awakened before I was gurneyed into the ambulance. I was telling friends to take care of mom and her meds—it would have been helpful to know that I had socially supplied in-home care for my mom by the way—as I was hoisted up. I was also reminding the drivers to contact my GP so I wouldn’t have to worry about this ride and some of my hospital care being covered. They just shushed me.

In the hospital it was determined by an MRI that I had a rotator cuff tear and bone chips. Yup, the likely cause was the ski incident. I was given the usual treatments as before. From what I remember of one nurse saying this and another saying that. That hydocho stuff is quite powerful. So I apologize for the hazy recollections of being in the hospital. I do remember that I didn’t think the nurses too attractive, as I’d imagined very sexy nurses would attend to me and we would hit it off and have mad passionate sex while I was on this stuff. Now I’m glad it never happened, seeing as much enjoyment from sex is in savoring the memory of it. But my friend Zoey did give me a lot of help. She would shuttle back and forth from mom to me. And while on this “brain killer” I groped her breasts, but then apologized for the meds. I knew she wouldn’t buy it the third time.Anyway, I was not deemed “urgent” and released with a sling, oh yeah, and those wicked pain killers. I would see my guru of joints again and would be off to a great start. It took me a week to get a referral from my GP, even though I’d had the hospital visit. But I’d have had to wait 5 weeks to see the guru of joints. So I settled for a Shah of Shoulders. It was only 3 weeks to get into the new Orthopedic Surgeon. Once again, I had an ex-ray. But this time I had it from 2 positions and not one. This time, I had enough wits to ask for the hospital MRI to be transferred to the new dude’s office as well. So in the Shoulder Shah’s analysis, there were the bone chips. Quite apparent.

What next? Surgery. But this time the doctor wanted to “endoscope” things. He’s a “peeker type”. So that took 10 days to schedule. I was scoped and got to see the inside of my shoulder. Fun. Then surgery. That only took 3 weeks to get with me having to call the “hospital scheduler” at the orthopedic surgeons office every 3 days to make sure things were happening. Now that’s 7 weeks total, just to get into the surgery. Or if you look at how I was initially treated? It’s 3 years. That’s a lot longer than the 6 weeks my cousin spent. So in reality, although people say it takes years for the social system to work, I think our system takes much longer than people think, and we have to fight so much more to get what we need. Bottom line, we overwork our doctors and wonder about the mentality of our system. Doctors seem to give up if facing insurance company regulations. The insurance companies are all about the profit line too. Oh they aren’t “heartless”, but they do hire folks to review cases looking for ways to deny claims. It’s a business after all. Currently, I’m fighting for physical therapy. Not that they are denying it to me. But that it has to do with how much I’ll need. I have a doctor saying 2 weeks will be enough because he thinks physical therapy is a racket. He holds that therapists are worry warts and drama queens, as he put it. Ah yes, some surgeons are great with their hands but not good with their mouths.

So as elections are coming up, I do hope all of you will think through the different plans of the candidates. Oh, and thinking means actually reading them. Get off your asses and stop relying on Disney owned news for your info. They fired Ted Koppel and fucked up yet another relevant and depth orientated news program to make it into a “magazine” featuring Martin Bashir. I like Bashir, but the format is all about the usual “light” news, the newstainment stuff. Sad. So please, I’m begging you, read. I for one am in favor of making health care universal, and that means mandatory. Companies should not be given room to wiggle out of their obligations to their employees, and the government should help the companies survive costs. But we also need reforms to medical malpractice lawsuits and we do need to alter the perception that there’s a lot of money to be made in medical insurance. Not all of our institutions need be capitalist enterprises. Just like the last year has seen record profits for Chevron and Mobil, and legislators asked those companies, “how much profit is enough?” Shouldn’t we ask the insurance companies the same question? How many claims denied, and procedures suspended are enough? I think that’s very true in a time when we hear of patients dying because insurance companies won’t budge. I’m personally voting for Senator Clinton’s plan. And I’ll be really honest now. If she’s not elected? I’m going up north to visit my Canadian cousin. Mom’s never seen Vancouver. Oh, but we aren’t coming back. We cant’ afford to."


Anna Nymity
(copyright, annanymity.com and annanymity@xpeeps.com)

What hospitals hide. click here
Injured in Japan. click here

WAR TO END ALL WARS

Remembrance Day 11th hour reflection.




(with thanks and apologies to SLAM fanzine)

A DAY IN THE STRIFE
a short primer of the history of the world in armed conflict...

THE KNIGHTS OF THE ROUND TABLE WARS (c.485-496)
What sounded cool & chivalrous, realistically wasn't. How many people are able to put on 20 tons of armor, jump on a horse & charge into a crowd of a thousand faceless wackjobs swinging 100lb. swords & maces at them? Inspite of Excalibur, the holy grail, King Arthur, Lancelot, Merlin & sexy Gwenyvere dragging this out in epic-saga fashion, these wars were most likely short-lived since most of these medieval, dungheap-smelling participants (if not ravaged by plague first) were more than likely crushed to death by their own equipment long before reaching the battlefield.

ARAB CONQUESTS (632-732)
The 1st proper 100yrs wars after the Islamic prophet Muhammad dies. Muslim armies praising Allah obtain huge territorial gains and Jews & Christians awaken to the threat of a serious formidable foe.

THE CRUSADES (1097-1291)
The Pope orders an armed Christian pilgrimage to retake the Holy Lands of Arabia in 9stages. From Jeruslaem to Constantinople, a wild cast of characters is thrown into the mix including Richard the Lionheart, Saladin, the Normans, the French, Turks, Teutons & the Kinights Templar.

THE HUNDRED YEARS WAR (1337-1453)
By this period only 5 names existed in all the world for men: Edward, Richard, Philip, John & Charles. There was fear the French would wipe out the English language forever, lotsa archery n' peasant rebellion and Joan of Arc convinced followers she received visions of God. The moral boost & her initial victories were the genesis for televangelism but her subsequent capture n' execution were also the foretelling that false idols sooner or later get flayed alive. In the midst of all the killing, scorekeepers ultimately displayed their mathematical failings as the century war infact tacked on an additional 16 years of further conflict.

THE SPANISH IN NORTH & SOUTH AMERICA (1492-1541)
Christopher Columbus searching for a route to the West Indies instead stumbles upon the Americas mislabelling the natives 'Indians'. Colonization of the New World introduces slavery, disease & genocide.

REFORMATION WARS (1562-1598)
French wars of religion that saw Protestants (Huguenots) & Catholics (Guises) battling it out for control of the new churches. The Regent Catherine initiates a systematic extermination of Protestants resulting in a massacre convincing many that Catholicism is a force of the Devil itself.

THIRTY YEARS WAR (1618-1648)
The Nazis 315yrs before Hitler? Political disputes over balance of power see German decimation of the Low countries & Italy with ventures in Spain, France & Scandinavia bringing bankruptcy, looting & severe occupation to those nations.

SEVEN YEARS WAR (1756-1763)
the first 'First World War'. Actually starting in 1754 in America stemming from conflict in Austria; a complex web of alliances n' treaties ivolved Germany, Britain, France, Russia, Portugal, Spain, Sweden, Canada, West Africa, India & South America as overseas colonies meant to develop expanding empire.

THE AMERICAN REVOLUTION (1775-83)
13 British colonies in North America say 'fuck you' to parliamentary governance back in England declaring themselves the sovereign United States of America. The Continental Congress, Articles of Confederation, the Constitution, Bill of Rights, Founding Fathers, Patrick Henry, the Boston Tea Party, Lexington n' Concord, Independence n' Union, Yorktown, Treaty of Paris & Loyalists all result in a brand new eventual superpower.

NAPOLEONIC WARS (1803-1815)
After the French guillotine street parties, Napoleon's popularity swelled his small frame to a bombastic arrogance in which the need to dominate grew insatiable. From Scandinavia to the stretches of the Ottoman empire with practically all of Europe inbetween, allied coalitions n' campaigns became his obsession to do away with Britain. The invasion of Russia became a huge clusterfuck and the disastrous winter retreat was a sign to everyone that frostbite is an enormous bitch (the Germans would get the point in their game decades later). Cursed in defeat & forced to abdicate, he was exiled where his legacy gave rise to navies, nationalism, proto-industrial revolution & reflected sentiments that divorced wives somehow remain the most regal & were best left as mistresses.

THE AMERICAN PLAINS INDIAN WARS (1860-1890)
Whites vs. the Indigenous proves to be tragic with the victor in complete domination of the continet & the loser facing extinction. Never having fought a European-style war with its constant pressure & co-ordinated strategies, the Indians even with Kevin Costner on their side are doomed from US military might responsible for countless massacres that wipe out tribe after tribe.

THE CIVIL WAR (1861-1865)
People may have been politer back then but that didn't make fighting any cooler. No siree. About the best thing one could hope for was a quick Ken Burns voice-over death - unless amputation of arms & legs by a drunken, ZZ Top-bearded doctor with a saw didn't bother them. The slaves were freed but not really.

WORLD WAR WON (1914-1918)
Memory of this war is fading with the last of these REALLY old liver-spotted veterans shivering from shellshock dying off. Enthusiasm quickly waned with not a lot of options in joining up & the accompanying parades followed by megakisses from random women had since disappeared. If spending months in trenches neck-high in mud watching rats as big as cats feast on dead flesh didn't sound appealing, one joined the airforce (before planes flew very well) or the navy (when boats didn't float very well).

THE SPANISH CIVIL WAR (1936-1939)
Republicans vs. The Nationalists. A totalitarian proxy war, dress rehearsal involving Germany, Italy & Russia for the eventual showdown between communism against fascism. This first media war for its coverage arose passion because of its religious divison & controversy for double-sided US involvement: although neutral, many Americans joined the International Brigades fighting for democracy while many American corporations quick to make a buck, greatly supplied the fascists with vehicles, fuel & machine tools.

WORLD WAR TOO (1939-1945)
The 1st 'Star' Wars. John Wayne, Audie Murphy & Bob 'Hogans Heroes' (let me break out my videocam and film myself having sex with a bevy of unsuspecting whores to jumpstart the amateur/youtube age) Crane were very safe-conscious & made sure none of their buddies ever died. There was lots of time to sing songs & carouse but sex wasn't allowed back then. Spies, drinking & cracking jokes about Adolf helped to add to the excitement and even if one did get shot, there was little bleeding (except if you had anything to do with Pvt. Ryan) & always a beautiful nurse to sing during the hospital stay.

THE VIETNAM WAR (1946-1975)
'Star' Wars III. Controversial & highly unsupported. Even Sly Stallone & Chuck Norris got bad reps in their own country for this one despite their heroics in otherwise shitty movies. Russian roulette never caught on as a socially accepted past-time & hostage taking snipers were just jerks. In the end, coming back home paralyzed in a wheelchair to traitor Jane Fonda just wasn't worth it.

MIDDLE EAST WARS (1947-1982)
If absolutely necessary to visit this territory one may as well join the military seeing as chances are, even if you don't, somebody there is going to kill you anyway with their terrorschism.

THE NEW CLEAR WAR (1948-1991)
We were all supposed to die in this one with only cockroaches and Christmas fruitcake left intact but not before our eardrums had long since bled & were decimated by air raid sirens.

THE KOREAN WAR (1950-1953)
'Star' Wars II. The only guaranteed method of survival was to be a top-notch, woman-chasing, combat surgeon or hairy, big nosed transvestite. If one was the doctor, they had to be extremely good at it (inspite of borderline alcoholism) since operations took place on room-fulls of soldiers blown to ittybitty pieces - after that, one could drink gallons of turpentine moonshine from a still in their tent.

AFGHANISTAN (1979-1989)
Russia's Vietnam. After the Russkies bail, the Taliban sets up shop, Al-Qaeda rears its ugly head marking the Bin Laden era (Osama having been on the CIA payroll arming Afghan rebels) and the US & Canada will visit after 9/11 on dragged out missions.

IRAN-IRAQ WAR (1980-1988)
Border disputes & insurgency from the Iranian revolution resulted in Iraq thinking they could take adavantage of the ensuing chaos. Saddam is on the CIA payroll of George Bush the 1st & accused of using chemical weapons. Iran remains on the offensive for 6yrs & repeated calls for a ceasefire by the UN are ignored. Both sides are devasted economically & Iraq will later bully Kuwait. The last POW's from this war are exchanged 15yrs(!) after its end.

GRANADA (1983)
Like most made-for-TV wars, everyone involved soon decided they'd rather be doing something else & just hit 'The Rovers' for a pint. Better a shot at the pub than being shot in a pillbox on the beach beacuse hell, that's no way to be spending a caribbean vacation.

PANAMA (1989)
Dictator Manuel 'Pineapple Face' Noriega (another one-time payrollee of the CIA) has rigged elections, harassed US troops n' civllians & worse, turned drug-trafficker. After economic sanctions & American invasion, he flees to an embassy which is surrounded & bombarded loudly with boomboxes. Fed up with endless Bon Jovi at ungodly hours, he surrenders to be flown to Miami where he is tried & imprisoned.

DESERT STORM I (1991)
The last act of George Ist. CNN earns it stripes presenting the war as a videogame with precision missile strikes & amidst lone camels in the desert against a backdrop of burning oilwells, the decisively lop-sided quick win gives way to mass refugees, sanctions and Saddam left intact to haunt us later on; a bastard ironically brought down by false accusations.

YUGOSLAVIA (1991-1995)
The Balkans have always been an unstable region often referred to as 'the sick man of Europe'. Continous splits along ethnic lines & civil war have long been common and results in the formation of several new independent countries (formerly republic federal units) including Bosnia & Herzegovina, Montenegro, Macedonia and Slovenia. The dissolution stemming from economic collapse, the death of President Josip Tito, the nationalist rise of Slobodan Milosevic, Albanians n' Kosovo and the xenophobic hatred of Serbs vs. Croats results in both sides using notorious paramilitary groups to launch attacks causing widespread destruction, target civillians, force tens of thousands into internment camps and commit atrocities involving mass rape & ethnic cleanisng.

DESERT STORMIER II (2003- )
Return to Iraq - the sequel. The trauma of 9/11 on the world has spawned fearmongering, backlash & the Patriot Act. With unsettling questions being raised at the inability to capture boogeyman Osama, the Bush administration fosters the idea of a Saddam connection further tied into weapons of mass destruction that Iraq intends to use. Even as the alleged intelligence is widely condemned as false, the UN security council greenlights another American invasion. Saddam's capture to trial to execution, insurgency, shady Defense contractors & Abu Ghraib loom on the horizon as omen to a bogged down horrible mess (inspite of democracy & rebuilding of infrastructure) that still sees no agreeable end in sight...

SUNNY DAYS SWEEPING THE CLOUDS AWAY

Happy belated birthday to Sesame Street which celebrated 40yrs yesterday.



20 THINGS ABOUT THE SHOW YOU PROBABLY DIDN'T KNOW

1. Baby Bear is Jewish.

2. The Count is nearly 2 million years old.

3. The Count's laugh after counting each number was discontinued over concerns of it frightening children.

4. In 1985, Snuffleupagus ceased to be a creature only Big Bird can see. The reason? Concerns that adults not believing Big Bird about Snuffy would lead to children being afraid to speak out about sexual abuse.

5. In the 1st season, Grover was brown, not blue.

6. In the 1st season, Oscar the Grouch was orange, not green.

7. Contrary to popular belief, Big Bird is not a canary. He's a Golden Condor.

8. Cookie Monster predates Sesame Street by 3yrs. He began his life as 'The Wheel Stealer' in an unaired General Foods commercial and went on to become involved in an IBM training film & a commercial for Munchos, where he went under the name 'Arnold the Munching Monster.' Back in these early days, he had a big set of sharp teeth and seemed a little more terrifying to kiddies than the friendly blue monster we all know and love.

9. During his 1st season in 1979, Telly was known as 'The Television Monster.' He had an antenna on the top of his head & his eyes would spin around whenever he watched TV. In 1980 he was revamped into the worrywart we've all gotten used to.

10. Rosita, the only Hispanic Muppet on Sesame Street, is actually a fruit bat.

11. In 1970, a single was released of Ernie singing 'Rubber Duckie.' It reached #16 on the Billboard chart.

12. Bert and Ernie aren't gay. Get over it. Sesame Workshop has gone on record about this.

13. The pilot episode of Sesame Street that was screen tested in front of a number of families in July 1969 featured only one Muppet sketch. It involved Bert and Ernie. This was the only part of the show that tested well, so the show was retooled to focus more heavily on the Muppets & to have them interact with human characters as well.

14. After Jim Henson's death in 1989, only a handful of 'News Flash' segments, which prominently featured Kermit the Frog, were created. In 2001, the sketches, both old & new, were abandoned completely.

15. Guy Smiley's real name is Bernie Liederkrantz.

16. The fat blue muppet that always plays a customer to Grover's waiter has a name befitting his appearance - Fat Blue.

17. In 2002, in the South African version of Sesame Street, an HIV-positive muppet was introduced. Kami is a 5yr old girl that became HIV-positive through a blood transfusion as an infant. Her name is derived from the word 'Kamogelo' which means 'acceptance' in several African languages.

18. Although the character of Elmo didn't debut until 1984, the Elmo puppet was used regularly as a background Muppet since the early 1970's.

19. Barkley was originally intended to be an acrobatic ape rather than a sheep dog. As well, he was called 'Woof Woof' at first, only being called Barkley after several appearances.

20. Ken Kwapis, the director of the 1985 Sesame Street film 'Follow That Bird', went on to be involved in the creation of such cultural TV landmarks as The Larry Sanders Show and the The Office.

THANK YOU, DELUSIONAL DAVID HASSELHOFF

All the king's horses & all the king's men... 20yrs ago today the Berlin wall was torn down.




And 30yrs ago today, the American embassy in Tehran was seized with hostages held captive for 444 days.

TRICK OR TREAT

HICKS N' HAYSEEDS ONE N' ALL

From time to time you'll hear some old codger say how they were a hip hepcat back in the day when soda was a mere plug nickel. So it's kinda funny that in their youth on Halloween 1938, they hit the streets in mass panic after being convinced that Orson Welles' broadcast radio play (an allegory of growing Nazi aggression) was a real series of reports describing martians with deathrays having landed on earth & obliterating everything in sight. A nation of terrified dumbshits? What a bunch of tools.

BREADLINES, SOUP KITCHENS & DUST BOWLS (WHEN WALL ST. LAID AN EGG)

80yrs ago today, the stock market crashed. The prosperity of boom was over & unimaginable hard times hit heavy.

then--




now--
iousa

SELF BIAS RESISTOR

PRO
Testing the pivotal to make way for the unrecognizable means facing a future of radical implications for human species development; imagining the impossible & articulating its adaption. Making the brain relevant for regeneration to realize the end of natural evolution is at hand, having made the sharp right turn into a post-human citizenry; the flesh & silicon hybrid techno-organism. Designing past the atomic level & solving beyond the genome, we've turned care & preserve into dominate & destroy. Artificial intelligence pushing machines beyond thinking into feeling, using this capacity to oust God; the inevitable next phase of the logic of our civilization.

The impulse to advance on knowledge creates a linked system of global communication. Speed is instantaneous - whether lifespan or suffering, so to is the twin interconnecting battle of esxtension vs. elimination. We still work on the archive of wisdom; consciousness is engineered biologically. We still fight the mind war of figurative fat vs. mental malnutrition - overcoming gluttony pushing us on the brink of extinction vs. underdeveloped shortage on the verge of explosion; an eco-crisis that tries to fill gap with overlap resulting in seismographic needles registering off-the-chart doybt & ambivalence...

MACHINES STEP IN.
The New World Lorders computing, competing, assembling. Listening, talking, engaging. Techno-progress gearing up for human redundancy. Already, everyday is a merger - the moving metal vehicle & logging onto the net are a mini wider world. An expansion of our nerve & nerves and allegorical adjustments; climate controlled air, processed frankenfood, falling asleep in front of the tv to hear the language of the informercial invading our dreams - all of these are new life-partners embraced. Playstation & downloading demand loyalty and we grieve the loss of friends from tv. Such relationships balance harmony & trauma and love for virtual reality threatens the physical. The definition of lives continues to shift blurring any line & negotiating more intimate kinship.

ROBOTS STEP IN.
More neurons & synapses for more thought. Seeing, hearing, understanding. Moving independently, improving, plugging themselves into power sources as people run low. Wrestling with contradiction, paradox & survival. Every bit as smart by replicating hardier versions of themselves & duplicating an efficiency that puts original selection to shame. We too have smarts & strength. Pharmacology enhancing healthier bodies & boosting metabolic functions is an attempt of anti-chasm - joining the gulf between neo-programming & human consciousness. From this transformation robots will gradually in time evolve into us & we will evolve as the old ways devolve.

Dawn: we will surpass past chemicals & decaying cells. All manner of frailties will see remedy - wrinkles, obesity, hair loss, sedxual dysfunction, depression... disease will be defeated. The hope for greater regenerating insight with criminality gone, AIDS cured, amputees growing limbs, the blind seeing, nanobots the size of molecules cruising the bloodstream, clogged arteries self-cleaning themselves, aging organs self-repairing... weakness & accident of fate will not be tolerated. The power to upgrade ourselves will be seized upon.

Figment forms the new body electric. Wires, cords & plugs, the new limbs. Swipe cards, access passwords & sequencing codes, the new synchro-speak of brainwaves & thought pattern. Dare to believe in miracles as the differences between man & machine refuses to succumb to paranoia. maintaining resolve encourages positive new lifeforms & (to borrow from the totalitarian ideal) love for the grand leap forward ensures the future.

CON
The current/present is now the greatest trouble of our time. The New World Disorder : benzene in the water, carbon in the atmosphere, free movement restricted; hemmed & herded in airports, highways, supermarkets & banks - we're suffering material reality to its obsolescence, headed staright into an uknown. With forests shrinking, soils erdoing, fisheries collapsing, animals disappearing & temperatures rising, critical mass will be achieved & ruins will be all that's left. Enviro-pollution clearly points out that we've lingered too long - the natural world is dying. And thankfully we have a new option.

VIRTUAL REALITY STEPS IN.
The New World Border. Shoving the world out of our own homes to allow for wired circuitry simplicity. Whether the choice to take business elsewhere or conducting commercial, social & romantic affairs in a free-zone market, this alt-space points out that matter is useless & soon will have no omnipresence at all. Where once we were explorers willing to glimpse from great distance, we now just conjure as couch potatoes thankful for high definition & plasma screens. And what of ominous more deadlier terrorism putting the means of disturbance in the hands of the disturbed? Security is crucial - no room for even a narrow margin of error. Fail-safes guarding vital energy & power grid sources will prevent the smallest germs of invisible grievance from laptop hackers. Or will they?? Protection against virus must be lethal.

SEX STEPS IN.
The New World Indoor-er. (But is erotica tripping over its own feet?) Where once encounter was fully interactive & immersive, now the utterly convinving of 'fake' aims to succeed as 'better than real'. The lovers body has been replaced by clicking the mouse; predictability & the frequency of repetition until it's over. And the online pleasure isn't over until you say so - surf back in, into another limitless menu. Such is the new explorator indulging in arousal & fantasy. Gender & ethics not an issue nor need exist; masturbate to mannequins, grannies & circus clowns. Shit on your slave, rape a baby seal & kill your kidnapped midget at the moment of orgasm. Do whatever, wherever, whenever,whoever without any questions asked.

We've been lied to, cheated, ripped off, dragged, drugged & abandonned. We've suffered terribley & miserably in the heeding call of virtuality; this strange philosophy & it's unheard of politics. Where memory deteriorates and pleasure & pain melts together thus negatively mixing & morphing forever as sanity reversal. Are we finished?...

NEW NEUTRAL?
And this matrix beckons us to take the preceding plunge. That all will be right and for us to breathe & relax because we are safe now in our new home (comfortably numb). Human thought, risk, conflict, forgetfulness - even imagination - are all real happenings of an outside entity; an economy of events in an endless interplay of images & signs. Stepping back from it is to contemplate an understanding of megastructural proportion & emotion; humanity's final drive toward new improved self-creation(?)

MONEY STEPS IN.
The New World Afforder. The only planetary narrative in which form & feel is changed either by tough loss or soft gain. Information, stocks, share, debt, bankruptcy - these ruling derivatives are all the language of the post human emergence & each is to virtuality what manufacturing was to the industrial age, a technology for the enlightened era. It's how the system works & neither community, region and/or nation can resist. The intelli-gents & institutions controlling these flows are the shadow world government; IMF, World Bank, WTO whose logic, power, decisions & lifespan surpass even the elite individuals serving them. Globalization has become a living, breathing machine - an uberbrain - stiched by switches & routers linking all manner of systems to protest; education, employment, finance, media, state control. The whole is suspended above any real world concerns.

FAITH STEPS IN.
Spirit is brought upfront - the final frontier on the virtuality horizon means belief precedes knowledge; 'leap before you look' in the secret logic of the fate that we make in naked advance. No volume of data, no amount of techno-innovation can chart the steps into uncertainty. But faith can. It invest in the best of all possibilities & doubles prosperity. Pledges to wipe poverty, destitution, sweatshops, unemployment & waste from the face of the earth. Be it the reassembly of atoms into perfect diamonds, entire new ecologies built from nuclear dumps or the transformation of jungles & estuaries into carefully managed, productive ecosystems - the wildest excursions of thought will take every sterile, desolate & barren hinterland and turn it into a thriving environment. Faith in virtuality will not see us imitating nature but instead vice versa.

HISTORY STEPS ASIDE.
But does it look back on its past. The New World Quarter. Humanity has grunted, gestured, kicked, screamed & moaned its way out of its primal self. The relationship to immediate surroundings (and of command) has drifted within inseperability & indistinguishability; always grasping the familiar. Our story is of fast & vast breakthrough - information, communication, revelation, revolution, new self, new culture, new consciousness, speech, thought, story, legend, myth, song, literature, law, science, curricula, constitution, bureaucracy, image, art, sound, computers, technology & its further reaches. A multi-domained infinite universe of space & time which ironically has brought us back to primality; wholly immersed & inseperable from a human reality of our own construction. A journey startedmillions of years ago from one body of skin & bone to end with 2 bodies; the physical with its own way to death and the digital with its own mind & mandate. Trapped in God's garden for millions of years, is at long last the discovery of an escape hatch - burning the old DNA blueprint to declare humanity a failed experiment. No longer following the handed down genetic script, we can direct & make history rather than just act it out in swept up events; this is our coming of age as a species.

THE END IS THE BEGINNING

PARANOIA STEPS IN. The New World Mistortion. The weak & meek are haunted by visions of endgames, computer totality, precautionary fables, morality tales, ruminations of electro-plague & ghosts in the machine. Sci-Fi sinisterism has always ridden evolution's coat tails. The intimidated are clueless & there is no other way in this symptom & cause cycle. We are drained, bored, angry & blundering towards doom. It's time to ditch the old ways & move toward the bright beams; to cease moving backwards into man-made hell as evolution is erosion...

...The New World Horror. It must be awful to be on the wrong side of history but the trajectory we're on is inevitable. Part of a cosmic explosion that began billions of years ago, our place is 2nd generation star-stuff for evolution is equinoxian. We are Pavlov's dogs, cyborgs & above all seeking replacement as reward. Evolution is escapism incarnate, evolution is mutation degenerate. We will prevail. It is our manifesto destiny.

WRYEST OF THE THUMBSUCKING WELLWISHERS

Linus Van Pelt is the most spiritual Peanut who relies on religion to explain the complex business of life. Using the bible as a guide for living & trust, his theological conclusions are often reassuring making him a prime candidate for peace. While he finds enduring the sins of others to be upsetting by complaiing to his best friend Charlie Brown of the constant raging going on in his soul, he still manages to prevent himself from fanatacism inspite of displaying his ability & desire to topple the status quo. Realistically, periods of mild revolt reveal both strategy to counter opposition & worrying doubt about credibility n' self-standing, be it his tinge of dictatorship when building an army of snowmen or his enthusiasm when involved in war games - success either way is a hard road.

Who is the biggest consumer of Snicker-Snack cereal & an avid skier having been exposed to it early on? Who is the developer of the unique philosophy called 'ruinism' which states that if you procrastinate long enough, the problem will eventually evaporate? Who tells sister Lucy that he simply wants "all love" & like Schroeder is James Bondian for being a good match to the women that hound them? Look no further... Linus has a crush on teacher Miss Othmar but changes his tune when it comes to interaction. With school, he talks aggressively about his dislikes but would never jeopardize what he sees as his privilege of simply going to be able to learn in the classroom. His worst punishment was not being able to play after school for a whole week because of a bad report card & in terms of education would never comprehend dropping out. He runs for school president with Charlie Brown as his VP.

When it comes to deep belief in holidays, he's subject to the mistaken vision of his own imaginative creation with the notorious Great Pumpkin bearing uncanny resemblance to Santa Claus. His annual Halloween vigil repeatedly ends without a glimpse of this character but with faith unshaken, his yearly watch remains a ritual. And as his support of the Christmas spirit (particularly through religious reflection) would suggest festiveness meaning tolerance on a larger n' everyday level, interestingly enough he isn't content to celebrate days belonging to other people.

Lastly, unsettling dread of both imagined family seperation & desertion have provided Linus with his most famous security crutch needed to face & find meaning in the disturbing harsh realities of existence: the baby blue blanket. He wages continual battle with his harassing Grandmother & her attempts to take it away everytime she visits and concludes by preferring to watch tv or stay in bed rather than go to school without it. He's well aware the precious blanket represents his lack of inner protection & has tried unsuccessfully to give it up - finally deciding it's too safe for it to be absent, even using it as a snapping weapon to fend off danger in an ultimate display of rationalism n' sanity thus both making sense of & fighting back fear.

BECAUSE EVEN PICASSO WOULD ACKNOWLEDGE A DISASTERPIECE

Beauty & ugliness is a matter of opinion. Or is it? Are we judging quality on its own, independent of the person making the judgement (as so it should be) or is it knowing best about the subject by labeling/categorizing? Either way doesn't mean we are necessarily better off to say others are wrong when/if they disagree. Expertise on standards means we can share the same view on whatever but not always for the same reasons. Offensiveness is a by-product of affluence as possession & consumption leads directly to discard. We refer to this as junk & trash. Now we have deterioration, a parallel reminder to aging & decay. What isn't always present however is how we see beauty & ugliness in actual environment; how old can be new & how appearance in place is seen differently elsewhere in an unconventional setting - all the while, the object itself is unchanged but now changed by n' because of reaction. Attraction as repulsion is role reversal. Nature & natural habitat is a perfect example; symmetrical & disorderly as clarity n' pleasance falls prey to murkiness or destruction in confines. Life & death deals with control but is complicated with beauty & ugliness as no single formula fits every case, for while many characteristics are included in any number of definitions, the untrained eye overlooks movement. The motion & action of transition - sight, sound, the stationary. Solidification. It's the sharp brain that sees improper function & yet again the misleading eye may only recognize an eyesore when infact there's grace or even wonderment. So is beauty really skin deep & ugly to the bone? The eye of the beholder confounds us all.

DISEMBODIED CEREBRAL TURBULENCY

First Copernicus says the earth isn't the center of the universe. Then Darwin says we evolve from apes, not God's creation. And Freud concludes we are not masters of our immediate doing... Such is the interior subjected to scientific scrutiny where the remote becomes the retreat. Societal function is contaminated and the mania of addiction pushes aggression, lust, exaggeration, repetition & loss for logic so instead of the cure, therapy creates the problem; the casualness of occassionality. Humanity's struggle - stupidity, cruelty, or trash faces the ignorance to think sociopolitics couldn't shape the world or that any system couldn't change behaviour. Individual is but the metaphor for agenda seeking to eliminate anything of inner conflict and relationship to the outside world is quite profoundly distorted & dysfunctional. We murder the self-shadow out of inherent intolerance so that we kill what we can't understand. We project our fears into living manifestations where human agents are now scapegoats to obliterate. Extermination & counterstrike is all an eventual endgame where hordes of the masses, mass surrender to the procedure which sees victory for the irrational by stripping away the soul for souvenir & thus using trophy as triumph. Accepting destruction as one of life's inconveniences while protesting the process, is infact the protection of war - our battlefield is combat within. So much (or so little) for salvation with this faint glimmer of hope as we'll carry on fighting forever at our present rate. Self annihilation (pardon the ironic pun) can't be fought.

Maybe in some aspects we'd be better off in erasing memory. A retro-abortive rebirth in the already established/exisiting picture. Instead we examine the framework to see a puzzle in need of dismantling; an initiated function of faction zero by removing pieces bit by bit until we get to nothing. But this nothing is infact a true something - a clean slate. Where the interior beneath the body is the truth that cleanses away the layer of pre-destiny - the sickness of surface. And this start from scartch determines fake or fate in all manner of ration & reason where reversal is the only forward. Maybe if one's mind of certain matter is wiped clear only then can we can do away once n' for all with self replay, personal rewind & individual record. But isn't it all sheer folly? Dreaming? Just how much can we ever be in a position to take this kind of chance as opposed to simply remaining servile to forces beyond our control? Because awakening is the death inside of impurity devine; just another process implemented as systematic institution. Who said brainwashing can't work?

RUST IN PIECE

Being a moderate fan of The Terminator franchise, I gotta say that in watching 'The Sarah Connor Chronicles' up until it was cancelled, the whole premise just got to a point of being deeply flawed. If machines n' resistance from the future kept time travelling into the past then a complete & final victory for either side could never be achieved. Every present day setting would result in an endless loop of both parties altering outcomes back n' forth to change the world through more sent missions. For key elements to be necessary (computers, technology, artificial intelligence) in the original apocalyptic war of annihilation that each wants the other to lose, the inevitability of judgement day has to be predicated on the absolute certainty that fate & destiny is cast in stone. Yet while the ever-changing manipulation of events kept switching this ideal to possibilities of an aftertime to come being shaped beforehand (delaying the obvious), the goal of adversaries in a race to keep from being defeated & thus eliminated forever is ultimately an unwinnable objective stuck in limbo facing the curse of repeat through different scenarios. I liked the tv show, kept watching & like everybody else stuck around for 'T4: Salvation' with Christian Bale but for fuck's sake, the cow can only give so much milk. Let's end it here. No more sequels or prequels. Enough already.

HIGHRISE REVOLT

(with thanks and apologies to NEW YORK TIMES magazine)




There is a somewhat comic lining around the cloud of France's suburban riots of Oct/Nov 2005. Callers to right-wing talk shows stressed how different those suburbs (with burning cars and hip-hop hand gestures) were from those with swing sets and barbeque grills. Anxious Euro politicians not wanting their countries to be perceived as "the next France" made similar points identifying gigantic building projects on the edge of French cities as literal powderkegs. People in Marseille, which has one of the heaviest concentrations of immigrants' children in France, were relieved that their city was left mostly unscathed when those children staged a nationwide uprising as Marseille is considered too hemmed in by mountains & sea to ship its poor to the outskirts. Executives, entrepreneurs and others who don't have to punch the clock are the ones living farther out reachable by fast trains. Marseille is not like most French cities, where the urban core is made up of neatly tended architectural treasures & disorder is pushed to the periphery. It's turned inside out so that "inner city" and "suburbia" retain their American connotations. That may have spared Marseille a lot of problems as to where some individuals are put.

The Swiss architect Le Corbusier, as Francophobes have been more than ready to explain, bears some blame. His designs inspired many of the suburbs where the riots began & he inspired the very practice of housing the urban poor by building up instead of out. With soaring apartments to give sunlight & fresh air to city laborers trapped in narrow fetid back streets since the dawn of urbanization, the flats instead mixed badly with something poor communities generate in profusion: groups of young, armed, desperate males. Anyone who could control the elevator bank (and when that became too terrifying to use, the graffiti-covered stairwells) could hold hundreds of families ransom. Le Corbusier called houses "machines for living." France's housing projects became machines for alienation - in theory, due to a mix of the buildings themselves & the way they're joined to the city. But in practice, the most effective urban renewal has tended to focus on the buildings specifically by razing them.

Holland provides the best example of how this works with Amsterdam & Rotterdam standing in the same urban-planning relationship as Paris and Marseille. The core of golden-age buildings along Amsterdam's canals are surrounded by industrial-age apartments & then by a fan of housing projects. Because Rotterdam was rebuilt after heavy bombing in WWII, its big concentrations of largely poor n' working-class immigrants & their children came to live in the bull's-eye of the metropolitan area. So the two cities are urban-planning opposites. And since the murder of filmmaker Theo van Gogh by a Dutch Islamist in 2004, it has become common to speak of them as political opposites as decades of Labor Party control is often accused of excessive multicultural sensitivity while housing policy is in the hands of the Populists known for tough talk on immigration, which saw leader Pim Fortuyn assassinated in 2002. Yet the cities' redevelopment policies are virtually identical as both retreat from gigantism & uniformity. The notorious apartments of southeastern Amsterdam responsible for generating a kind of pathology have seen a succession of Labor mayors presiding over their dismantling to make way for smaller "garden houses" when the city determined that 11,000 units of housing were needed in the western area. A decision was reached to demolish 13,000 units and build 24,000 on a more neighborly scale to avoid "huge, stretched-out deprived areas." Meanwhile in right-wing Rotterdam, Pastors did almost exactly the same thing by pouring resources into mixed-income projects started by the Labor Party in the once-dismal neighborhoods & arguing for maximum residential diversity on the grounds that people now have "housing careers."

In the past, a person with a working-class identity could live in "working-class housing." But today people have housing careers that vary as much as their professional ones. When young & not terribly bothered by noise, one might choose small functional places close to cultural attractions and nightlife. They can move to larger quieter ones when they have families & then trade space for comfort when their children leave home. Corbusier-style city planning shows no evidence of having considered this. If housing units aren't varied in a given neighborhood & entire quarters of a city are filled with standard-issue monoliths, an upwardly mobile people is condemned to constant movement. The only people who develop any sense of place are those trapped in the poverty they started in.

In the course of the French slum-based uprising, observers cited the problem stemming from residents of some of the most gloomy projects unwilling to relocate, even when the government had promised to move them into much nicer places. While there's an oddness to growing attached to their dangerous homes & neighbors, perhaps it's more likely that the towerblock dwellers were leery about accepting the promises of any government that once stuck them in such a depressing spot to begin with.

LOSERDOM AS ONLY A TORONTO HOCKEY FAN WILLINGLY EMBRACES

Putting `fun' in dysfunctional since 1967

The hierarchy of Maple Leaf Sports & Entertainment – CEO Richard Peddie and chairman Larry Tanenbaum – have been under an almost constant stream of criticism over their handling of the storied Leafs franchise. Their hiring of John Ferguson Jr. as general manager in 2003 started yet another slide in Leaf fortunes on the ice. In an excerpt from the book Leafs AbomiNation: The Dismayed Fan's Handbook to Why the Leafs Stink and How They Can Rise Again, authors Dave Feschuk and Michael Grange look at some of the Leafs' problems in that era, as seen through the experiences of the club's former player personnel director:

For all the public outcry, there were problems behind the scenes that didn't get much attention. One was the short tenure of Craig Button, who'd been a candidate for general manager's job before John Ferguson Jr. was hired and who was eventually hired by Ferguson as the team's director of player personnel.

Button knew something of Ferguson's situation. In 2000, at age 37, he'd been named the general manager of the Calgary Flames, where he spent most of three seasons presiding over a decline in the club's fortunes. The Flames never made the playoffs on his watch, and he was roundly criticized for leaving the roster in a shambles.

Still, Button's credentials before he became a GM were impressive. He'd been the director of scouting and was promoted to the director of player personnel for the Dallas Stars during a successful string of seasons that culminated in the Stars' 1999 Stanley Cup on a goal Sabres fans are still calling for the league to review because Brett Hull's skate was in the crease.

And Button, like Ferguson, is the son of an NHL father. Jack Button was the general manager of the Pittsburgh Penguins for a time in the 1970s, and he was assistant general manager of the Washington Capitals for most of two decades until he died in 1996.

During his time in Toronto, Button, who spent 2008-09 as a commentator with the NHL Network, saw more than just a lack of managerial fortitude and foresight. He saw a huge company and sporting institution that thought small. And he saw Ferguson constantly bowing to the pressure to come up with short-term solutions to long-term problems.

"When John came in, it was interesting. He talked about, `We've got to build this with draft picks and with youth.' He was hired in August of '03. And at the trade deadline of '04, first-round draft picks were flying out the door," Button says. "But that's Toronto. There's different pressures that exist. And I think they exist whether your name is Ken Dryden or Pat Quinn or Cliff Fletcher or John Ferguson. And it'll apply to Brian Burke. I believe the key part of it is you can't get caught up in the immediacy. What happens when you get caught up in the immediacy is that you don't see the forest for the trees. Therefore, a trade of a third overall pick for Tom Kurvers occurs."

The Kurvers trade, of course, wasn't a Ferguson stroke. It happened on the watch of Floyd Smith, who dispatched what turned out to be the third-overall selection in the 1991 draft to the New Jersey Devils in a move to shore up Toronto's defence. The Devils used the pick to select Scott Niedermayer, who'd go on to anchor three Stanley Cup winners. Kurvers was traded to the Vancouver Canucks for Brian Bradley, who would go on to score 42 goals in an NHL season, albeit for the Tampa Bay Lightning, who got him for nothing when the Leafs left him unprotected in the 1992 expansion draft.

"Maple Leaf Sports and Entertainment has massive resources, which is a good thing. I've seen a real lack of foresight in the use of those resources to really gain a competitive advantage. Personnel, scouting procedures, processes, development, all those things," Button says. "I couldn't fathom how pennywise and pound-foolish they were. I mean, if development and recruiting are going to be key parts of your operation – and they need to be – well, I'll tell you what, you blanket the earth. You use your resources. If you can't spend some of your resources on player acquisition (because of the salary cap), you spend it on developing players. You make sure you're as sharp as anything. In my time there, I thought that was severely lacking."

Ferguson, sitting high above the ice at Hamilton's minor-league rink, making meticulous notes on the action below, glances up at the press-box video monitor. It's showing a Leafs game, and Ferguson begins a rumination on the current state of his former employer.

"Clearly the organization now, whether it's through capitulation, whatever else, is clearly on board. The manager has a six-year deal. The coach has a four-year deal," he says with the touch of admiring envy you might expect from a man who never enjoyed that kind of long-term job security. Ferguson can't resist a playful jab at Burke's build-it-from-the-basement philosophy.

"When you're not trying to win," he says, "it's hard to underachieve."

Even when the Ferguson regime was on the verge of getting it right, they sometimes got it wrong. Consider the case of Fabian Brunnstrom, the Swedish forward with whom the Leafs shared a strange off- ice dance. Brunnstrom signed with the Dallas Stars in 2007, and he played regularly with the big club with modest results that saw him spend some time in the minors during the 2008-09 campaign. But the Swede's eventual fate as a pro isn't particularly vital to this anecdote. What's important to understand is that, in the fall of 2007, Brunnstrom's name was a veritable buzzword everywhere from hockey message boards to NHL executive offices. What made him so attractive? He was a classic late bloomer who hadn't been drafted by an NHL club, which made him an unrestricted free agent. And so, at age 22, he was suddenly among the most talked-about players in Sweden's elite league.

NHL scouts had seen this kind of phenomenon before and largely ignored it, which allowed the Ottawa Senators to draft an unheralded Swede named Daniel Alfredsson with the 133rd overall pick in the 1994 draft, a move that turned out to lay a key piece of the foundation for a Senators team that became, for a while, a perennial contender with Alfredsson as captain.

The frustrating thing for various members of the Ferguson scouting staff in Toronto was that, while most of the league was fawning over Brunnstrom by November of 2007, the Leafs had tracked him down long before. Toronto, for all of the criticisms that have been levelled at its scouting department over the years, had made a key investment in bird-dogging in the 1990s, when they signed Swedish scout Thommie Bergman to be their director of European scouting.

Bergman was a pioneering player in the 1970s as the first Swedish defenceman to play in the NHL, a title often erroneously given to Borje Salming of the Leafs. And Bergman, in his post-playing career, had carved out a reputation as a man with a keen eye for talent.

When Bergman saw Brunnstrom playing for Boras of HockeyAllsvenskan, Sweden's second-best league, he knew the kid was bound for bigger things. Convinced of Brunnstrom's talent, the scout finally summoned Button to Europe to see for himself. And as they continued to watch the prospect – at one point buying tickets to a game (rather than alerting other scouts to their presence by requesting a pass) and sitting among the fans wearing big coats and hats so as not to be recognized – Button soon agreed with Bergman that Brunnstrom had NHL potential. The developmental plan, which seemed to make sense to Brunnstrom's camp and to Bergman, would be to sign the player to a contract and have him play the 2007-08 season in the Swedish Elite League. He would play for Farjestad, a respected club where he would be coached by Hakan Loob, a Swede who'd earned a Stanley Cup ring with the Calgary Flames in 1989 and a man who knows what it takes to make the jump to the NHL.

"It was a no-brainer," says Button, looking back. "I mean, here was a free agent you can sign for next to nothing? It's a no-brainer."

But when Bergman brought the plan to Ferguson and the GM's lieutenant, Mike Penny, the no-brainer became a flat-out no.

"Mike Penny, with John Ferguson right there, said, `There's no fucking way we're fucking signing a guy and having him play in fucking Sweden. What the fuck is this bullshit?'" says Button. "I'm sitting there thinking, `Okay. Don't listen to me. That's okay. But you hired this guy, Thommie Bergman, and this is his job, to find talent in Europe, and this is how he gets treated?' But that's exactly what was said."

That's not the way Ferguson remembers the conversation. But he doesn't deny that, months later, when Brunnstrom was still unsigned and playing for Farjestad, the Leafs were among the teams suddenly expressing interest in his services. By that point, though, Brunnstrom's camp was said to be aware of the initial rebuff by the Leafs' higher-ups. And sure enough, just as Brunnstrom gave Toronto a pass, Button wasn't long for the Leafs.

Button called the Brunnstrom affair "one of the straws that breaks the camel's back." But there were others. He didn't agree with the club's decision to move the American Hockey League club from St. John's, Nfld., to Toronto's Ricoh Coliseum.

"I think it's the dumbest thing they ever could have done. Putting [prospects] under the scrutiny of Toronto? I can't think of anything dumber. How do you live in a city like Toronto when you're a young player making $50,000 a year? But that was a business-side decision. They thought they were going to make a ton of money off the Marlies. They thought they'd make something like $3 million or $4 million a year. And they're losing $3 million or $4 million a year. So they were off by $6 or $8 million."

Above all, perhaps, Button didn't feel he was making a contribution. Perhaps because Ferguson was afraid of involving anyone who could be seen as a threat to his power in the decision-making process – and Button, a former NHL GM, could certainly have qualified as a threat – Button says his suggestions fell on unreceptive ears.

"A big reason I left is there's got to be a fit. When you don't feel you're contributing, when you don't feel anybody's paying attention even, it's difficult to stick around," says Button. "I cannot begin to tell you how non-communicative John Ferguson and Mike Penny were. I'm talking, not even, `Good idea.'

"You'd send stuff to them – nothing. Somebody asked me once, `What's John like in private?' I said, `Exactly like he is in public.' And I'm not trying to rip on John. I think he was overwhelmed. I think he was like a deer in the headlights and he didn't know what to do. But again, was that John's fault? Or was that Richard Peddie's fault? To me, Richard Peddie deserves all the blame for putting that person in that spot."




WHY THE LEAFS SUCK / It's not bad luck. It's not bad karma. What it takes to build a chronic loser.

It would be comforting to believe that the Toronto Maple Leafs are cursed. After 41 years of failure, supernatural explanations start to seem pretty attractive, especially when hard facts are just too painful to face.

It's not like there's any shortage of evidence for those inclined to see paranormal forces at work. These are the Leafs, where one can't-miss prospect after another disappears into minor-league obscurity. Remember Drake Berehowsky, Brandon Convery, Scott Pearson, Luca Cereda, Peter Ing, and Jeff Ware? They all, at one time or another, represented a future that never arrived. What about poor Jason Blake? A 40-goal scorer who gets diagnosed with cancer just months after his celebrated arrival in town. Then there's Mats Sundin. One of the game's true stars, he played 13 years surrounded by one of the best-paid supporting casts in the NHL, never once making the Stanley Cup finals, let alone winning it.

The list of disappointments could fill volumes, and now this. For the first time in Leafs' history, eliminated from the playoffs for a third consecutive season. It'd be tempting to say the team has hit rock bottom, but it's not clear they're done digging.

God hates the blue and white — it's that belief which binds together all those who call themselves citizens of Leafs Nation. On talk radio, in chat rooms, and in sports bars across the country (but mainly in southern Ontario) they share the misery of loving a team that does not give back. Not ever. Their bond is galvanized by the common struggle against forces beyond their control, and by the knowledge that they are hated (vehemently) by fans in Montreal, Calgary, Vancouver and beyond. It's that sense of grievance and isolation that, in the absence of anything real to celebrate, holds them all together.

The only problem with all this talk of curses is that there are perfectly logical reasons for the Leafs' legacy of failure. The fact that the Toronto Maple Leafs are a bad hockey club is the inevitable by-product of the laws of economics. Their mediocrity is a design flaw, and it comes down to this: for any business to thrive, it must be obsessively focused on victory. Success must yield powerful benefits and failure must unleash harsh consequences. In the world's greatest market for pro hockey, that cost/benefit equation doesn't exist. A gusher of wealth, regardless of performance, has begat 40 years of infighting, a culture of laxity, and a refusal to admit the problem. The Leafs are a monopoly business that has been corrupted by its own market power.

It's not a curse. It's far, far worse.

In 2002, just a few years before he died, the world-renowned economist Peter Drucker was asked what he thought of the U.S. government's obsession with breaking up monopoly businesses (in all industries except sports). Drucker saw no sense in it. Like the dinosaurs, he said, monopolies were all marked for extinction anyway. "I am not afraid of monopolies because they eventually collapse," he said. "Thucydides wrote years ago that hegemony kills itself. A power that has hegemony always becomes arrogant. Always becomes overweened . . . It becomes defensive, arrogant, and a defender of yesterday. It destroys itself."

Arrogant, overweened, defensive, obsessed with history, and doomed. Could there be a better description of the Maple Leafs?

To be precise, however, the Leafs wield what economists call "monopolistic market power" — not quite the same as being a monopoly, but similar. Colin Jones, professor emeritus at the University of Victoria, has spent much of his career studying the economics of pro hockey. "Pretty much any study you look at, you'll find a very strong correlation between attendance and winning." But the Leafs, he says, are different. "They can do whatever the hell they like and the attendance and merchandise sales go up, and TV and radio contracts hold up. In terms of competitive performance, this monopolistic power is a very bad thing."

But just why it is a "bad thing" is the complicated question that underlies 40 years of failure. Thousands of disgruntled observers will tell you the Leafs don't try very hard because, no matter how bad the team is, the arena is full and the team makes a profit. But while there may be some truth to that, it fails to convey just how profoundly monopolistic power corrupts the ability to compete. It's not that the Leafs organization isn't trying. The problem is, no matter how hard they try, their efforts are undercut by the dynamics of their dominant market position. And in the NHL, that is completely unique.

"For most teams, winning is urgent," says Neil Longley, a professor of sports management at the University of Massachusetts, who studies the incentive structures affecting pro sports, including pro hockey. "Even winning doesn't guarantee [financial] success for a lot of teams, but losing pretty much guarantees their failure." Even in a city like Detroit, with a strong hockey tradition, managers know they must always ice a winner to fill an aging rink in an economically depressed area. In New Jersey, not even a perennial Cup contender can fill the arena. Dallas, Denver, Anaheim — all succeed on the ice, and all face an annual fight to turn a profit.

Toronto's problems are, in fact, the exact opposite of most struggling sports teams. There's no miserly owner cutting corners. There's no lack of fan support. And it's not a pressure-cooker environment that stunts the development of young players. (For all the references to the city's rabid media corps, the team is, in fact, treated with kid gloves and feted at any sign of improvement.) No, the rot that is destroying the Leafs comes from having too much, too easily.

This year, Forbes magazine ranked the Leafs (again) as the most valuable franchise in the NHL, by far. It estimates the team to be worth $413 million, up 24 per cent in one year, on revenue of about $138 million, and operating profit just north of $52 million. Consider also that the Leafs are just the biggest part of Maple Leaf Sports and Entertainment Ltd., which also owns the Toronto Raptors of the NBA, the minor league Toronto Marlies, the Air Canada Centre, and the Toronto FC pro soccer team. All in all, the whole enterprise is valued around US$1.5 billion — three times its estimated price tag of nine years ago, when Richard Peddie took over as CEO. Even at that, Peddie maintains Forbes' valuation is way low. "Let's just say none of our owners would consider selling for that price."

Despite the utter lack of on-ice success, the team has been able to wring ever more revenue from its beleaguered fans year after year. Team Marketing Report issues an annual study of pro sports prices, and this year the Leafs ranked (again) as the most expensive ticket in hockey. The Fan Cost Index estimates the cost of bringing a family to a game — four average-priced seats; two beers; four small soft drinks and hot dogs; parking; a couple of programs and two ball caps. At a Leafs game, that'll cost $476, up 4.8 per cent from last year and way ahead of second-place Montreal at $388.

Economists say that kind of pricing power is typical of a monopolistic business. Remember the days when calling long-distance was a special occasion, because the monopoly phone companies charged a fortune for overseas calls? With their ownership of four of Toronto's major teams, MLSE has an firm grip on the southern Ontario sports market, and the cost of being an Ontario sports fan reflects that.

There is a dark side to that kind of power, however, and it is often reflected in an inability to innovate, and to develop internally. Big monopoly companies generally compensate for their stunted creativity by acquiring smaller firms. Microsoft built a notorious monopoly on its Windows operating system, got extremely rich, but then fell behind more innovative rivals. When Google came along and started dominating the market for online advertising, Bill Gates spent US$6 billion to buy a company called aQuantive to catch up. When it fell behind Mapquest and Google Maps, Microsoft bought Vexcel and GeoTango to try to close the gap. When none of that worked, it paid US$45 billion to buy Yahoo!

The Leafs have relied on the pro sports equivalent: signing veteran free agents to compensate for their woeful record in drafting and developing players. Over the past 20 years, the Leafs have drafted just two players — Tomas Kaberle and Felix Potvin — who went on to play in the NHL all-star game. Over the same period, Montreal drafted eight future all-stars. Currently, 17 of the Habs' 25 players, including virtually all of its nucleus of young talent — Carey Price, Andrei Markov, Andrei Kostitsyn, Tomas Plekanec, Chris Higgins — were acquired through the draft.

This is due in part to the fact that the Habs have been subject to a healthy boom/bust cycle common to most teams. When the team falters, it uses high draft picks and a strong development system to rebuild. The Leafs organization, behaving like a true monopoly, has opted to use its money for a series of short-term fixes — Ed Belfour, Owen Nolan, Brian Leetch, Jason Blake to name a few. These moves keep the team suspended in a kind of permanent stasis. Not good enough to fight for the Cup, not bad enough to effectively rebuild.

Even that dubious strategy, however, has been stymied over the past few years, as the introduction of a salary cap has severely limited the ability of rich teams like the Leafs to spend their way out of bad management decisions. "Pre-salary cap, one of the strategies of the Leafs and other large market teams is to basically outspend your competitor," Longley says. "They no longer have that option. Now the challenge is not a [financial] race to the top, but it's a competition of who can use their money more wisely. Finding the most talent per dollar is going to drive success."

And that suggests, as badly as the team has performed, the real problem exists in the executive suite, not on the ice.

Richard Peddie is sitting at a small conference table in his office at the Air Canada Centre. Laying face down on the table in front of him is a paperback copy of Barack Obama's political memoir The Audacity of Hope. Perfect for the CEO of a team about to set a new standard for futility, but that's not the point. The point will be revealed later. For now, Peddie would just like you to know that he enjoys reading books.

Like many people in marketing, Peddie has a ready supply of anodyne insights that come out as perfectly formed sound bytes. You can almost see the quotation marks as the words come out of his mouth.

— "We have an expression around here: you have to win on the ice and off the ice."

— "Luck occurs when preparation meets opportunity."

— "Like that old cliché says, coming close is only good in hand grenades, it's no good in this business."

— "I've always said 'winning is good business.' I came up with a new phrase a couple of weeks ago: 'winning is good business. Championships are even better business.' "

— "My joke is 'at Pillsbury, nobody phoned me to complain about my crescent rolls, here they do.' "

But sloganeering isn't Peddie's only talent. He also has the politician's gift of simultaneously taking both sides of an argument, and doing it so convincingly that you're hard-pressed to notice the contradictions. A few weeks ago, he told the Toronto Sun that it was a mistake to hire John Ferguson Jr. as the team's last general manager. Today, he recants. "I still think John was a good hire. With his resumé, he was the best candidate at the time. But it didn't work out." And then, a few minutes later, a subtle shot at Ferguson's inexperience. "Gone are the days of hiring a rookie for either the Leafs or the Raptors."

Ask about decades of on-ice futility, he points to two trips to the league semifinals under Pat Quinn. "We had a good run when Pat was here. We didn't win the Stanley Cup, but those years weren't bleak at all." Later in the same conversation he confesses: "I didn't come away from those years we made it to the conference finals feeling like we had a great year. Not once."

Ask about his own performance and he rhymes off a long list of financial accomplishments, but later says he will consider his job incomplete until the Leafs win the Cup.

None of this is to suggest Peddie is disingenuous. He's just good at his job. This is what it takes to survive atop an organization steeped in four decades of back-stabbing, factionalism, alliances and betrayal. In the absence of any urgent need to compete against the rest of the league, the power brokers behind the Maple Leafs have honed their combat skills on each another.

It's survival of the slickest, and that is an inescapable part of the malaise that now defines the Leafs organization. It's a problem that has plagued dozens of powerful corporations over the years — Boeing, Coca-Cola, and Disney come quickly to mind. General Electric was famously obsessed for more than a year with the internal rivalry among three top executives to succeed Jack Welch as CEO, and its performance naturally suffered.

The Maple Leafs' history of toxic boardroom politics can be traced back to the late 1960s, when Harold Ballard began his Machiavellian climb from director and minority shareholder to absolutist overlord of Maple Leaf Gardens. In 1971, already facing fraud charges over his misuse of team money, Ballard managed to force his former partner John Bassett out of the ownership group, then gained full control just weeks later, when his erstwhile ally Stafford Smythe died. Under Ballard's often bizarre stewardship, the Leafs were in a constant state of disarray. In the 20 years between 1970 and Ballard's death in 1990, the Leafs changed head coaches 15 times, and a succession of star players, including Dave Keon, Bernie Parent, Lanny McDonald and Darryl Sittler, finally left the increasingly abysmal team.

When Ballard died in 1990, he made Steve Stavro and Don Giffen executors of his will, setting the stage for another power struggle. Stavro eventually won out, but not before Giffen installed Cliff Fletcher as GM. When Stavro completed his takeover, he nudged Fletcher into retirement and brought in Ken Dryden as team president and GM. According to Leafs executives who were there at the time, the Dryden years were characterized by a whole new round of dissension, as he feuded with his assistant, Mike Smith. Pat Quinn was brought in as coach in 1998, and took over as GM in 1999, but by then, he and Dryden were hardly speaking either.

Stavro orchestrated the merger with the Toronto Raptors and the creation of MLSE in 1996, but that did nothing to calm the internal upheaval. He was eventually squeezed out of the company in 2003. He gave up the chairmanship of MLSE to construction magnate Larry Tanenbaum, sold his controlling stake to the Ontario Teachers' Pension Plan, and died a few years later. It was also in 2003 that the Leafs decided to replace Quinn as GM while keeping him on as coach, setting in motion yet another infamous round of internal hostility.

Peddie formed a three-person hiring committee with Quinn and Dryden (two men who both thought they could do the job perfectly well). According to people familiar with the situation, Quinn wanted one candidate, Dryden another, and neither man would budge. Ferguson — a 36-year-old who'd never been an NHL general manager — was finally hired as a compromise candidate, backed by Peddie and Tanenbaum. In other words, nobody really thought Ferguson was the best man for the job, he was merely the one person everybody could live with. That's neither a ringing endorsement nor a recipe for success, but that's how arrogant and fractious organizations often do business.

Dryden soon moved on to federal politics, but the atmosphere at MLSE never warmed. One former NHL executive who knows both men says the dynamic between Quinn and Ferguson was doomed from the start. "They thought he'd learn on the job, but learn from who? Pat hardly spoke to the guy."

Ferguson finally fired Quinn in 2006. And this year, after a string of failed signings and dismal trades, Ferguson got the axe too. But there are many in and around the league who believe the real problem remains in the boardroom. The most outspoken critic may be Bill Watters, a former assistant GM under Quinn who is now a sports radio show host and television commentator. "The state of the organization is best exemplified by the interference provided by Peddie and Tanenbaum. That is the essence of the rot," he says. "I would sooner put up with Harold Ballard and all his quirks than with Peddie and Tanenbaum. They have no idea what they're doing. At least Harold was a sportsman."

In Leafs vernacular, that is pretty much the ultimate condemnation. Comparing the MLSE boys unfavourably to Harold Ballard is like saying Italy was better off under Mussolini. But Tanenbaum dismisses Watters as a disgruntled former employee, levelling "personal attacks to increase his on-air ratings."

As for rumours that Peddie and Tanenbaum have renewed the Leafs tradition of infighting and interference, both men deny it — and that's where Barack Obama comes in. "There's this meddling rumour right? They talk about dysfunction and meddling," Peddie says, picking up his copy of The Audacity of Hope. He points to a highlighted passage in which Obama laments how facts get distorted and then re-reported ad nauseam in the Internet age. This is a sore point. "I've never once influenced a trade, a free agent, a draft choice. Never once. Yet, if you polled the people they'd say 'Peddie meddles.' Once these things get out there, it takes on a life of its own."

Tuesday, March 11 in Toronto, and the home team is still on life support. Fading hopes to make the playoffs are on the line against the Philadelphia Flyers. Early in the third period, the expense-account crowd hasn't even made it back to their platinum seats when the Flyers pull ahead 3-0. A dejected calm falls over the ACC.

Then, a goal from Sundin with 15 minutes left changes the game. Pavel Kubina buries a slapshot with just under seven minutes to play. And, with 3:41 on the clock, the equalizer goes in. With a minute left in overtime, a fluky little flip-shot from behind the net hits a Flyer defenceman and bounces into the net. The Leafs win and the ACC crowd, nearly silent just 30 minutes ago, goes absolutely freaking nuts.

Over the next few days, the winning streak stretches on — another victory on the road in Philadelphia, then one in New York and another in Buffalo. Then, sweetest of all, Ottawa. Even an injury to Sundin doesn't slow the momentum, and the papers are full of hopeful stories lauding the team's courageous, improbable run for the playoffs.

Alas, just as quickly as it began, it's over. Back-to-back losses to the Boston Bruins and the Leafs are back to a sad, familiar place.

Don't the Leafs want to win?

Of course they do. Listen to Peddie talk about getting booed on the street when he goes for lunch. His frustration is real, but it is largely beside the point. "The team makes too much money. It's too easy," explains one former NHL general manager. "There's just no burning incentive to put a good team on the ice. And it's been that way since long before any of these current people were involved."

The players want to win too. But, as that former executive points out, in February when the Leafs asked five veteran players if they would agree to be traded to Cup contenders, all five refused, preferring to stay in Toronto despite the team's woeful record. Few in the hockey world were even surprised. "They need a cultural change. Everybody's just too comfortable."

Easy to say. Hard to do. Peddie promises that over the coming months, MLSE will hire "a proven winner" to run the club. That person will be paid more than any other executive in the league, will be given absolute autonomy to run the team, and a mandate to win the Stanley Cup. But Longley points out that the Leafs have been through dozens of coaches, hundreds of players, three distinct ownership structures, and yet the results remain astonishingly consistent.

Peddie rejects the notion that the Leafs are structurally ill-equipped to compete. "What the economists don't understand is the emotion of it," he says. "We're executives but we're also fans. We want to win."

But that's just it. Fans are the ones who celebrate every goal, every hit, and every fleeting win streak. Fans can be convinced that a last-minute dash toward the playoffs (in a 30-team league, in which more than half of the teams make the cut) is an achievement worth celebrating. Fans wish for success. Leaders make it happen, because they can't live with the alternative. Fans perpetuate the status quo. For 41 years, the Leafs have had too many fans, and not enough leaders.

The distinction is perhaps best illustrated by a story from 27 years ago. One night in 1981, the Winnipeg Jets — then the league's worst team — came into Maple Leaf Gardens and laid a humiliating pounding on the home team. During a stoppage, an older gentleman approached the boards, took off his Leafs jersey, threw it onto the ice and walked out of the rink in disgust. "He must have been close to his seventies, and all these people clapped," one witness laughs. "But you know, I bet that guy came back the next night."

Of course he did. That's what makes the Leafs monopolistic. And that's the problem.


THE NUMBERS GAME / Breaking down 41 years of Maple Leafs futility

15 — Times a Maple Leaf finished among the NHL's top-10 scorers since 1967

11 — Scoring titles won by the Pittsburgh Penguins' Jaromir Jagr and Mario Lemieux

127 — Most points by a Maple Leaf in a single season since 1967 (Doug Gilmour in 1992-93)

132 — Points scored by rookie Teemu Selanne that same year

2 — Maple Leafs who scored 100 points or more in a season since 1967 (Doug Gilmour and Darryl Sittler)

4 — 100-point scorers on the 1985-86 Edmonton Oilers

81.3 — Average number of career points scored by a Maple Leafs' first-round draft pick in the last 15 years

229.6 — Average number of points scored by Tampa Bay's first-round selections over the same period

3114 — Total number of points scored by the 132 players drafted by the Leafs since 1992

4585 — Total number scored by the 130 players drafted by the Sharks

0 — Major awards (Hart, Vezina, Norris or Calder trophy) won by a Maple Leaf since 1967

25 — Major awards won by a Boston Bruin over the same time span

7 — Times a Maple Leaf was runner-up

54.9 — Best season in last 15 years, as a percentage of games won (1999-00)

96.8 — Average home attendance that season, as a percentage of arena capacity

36.6— Worst season in last 15 years, as a percentage of games won (1997-98)

99.2 — Average home attendance that season, as a percentage of arena capacity

1 — Number of coaches hired by the Leafs since 1967 who have won a Stanley Cup, either before or after their tenure in Toronto (Pat Burns)

1 — Maple Leafs general managers hired since 1967 who have subsequently managed another team (Cliff Fletcher, the current Leafs GM)

2 — Montreal Canadiens' coaches hired since 1967 who have yet to coach another NHL team (Mario Tremblay, Claude Ruel)

8 — Coaches hired by the Leafs since 1967 who have yet to coach another NHL team (Pat Quinn, Mike Murphy, Tom Watt, Doug Carpenter, John Brophy, Mike Nykoluk, Red Kelly, John McLellan)

11 — Consecutive seasons John Brophy went on to coach the East Coast Hockey League's Hampton Roads Admirals

3 — ECHL championships he won there


TALLYING IT ALL UP / From ill-advised draft picks to bad coaches, Macleans.ca breaks down the reasons the Maple Leafs stink

Hindsight, it’s been said, is always 20/20. That’s especially true when it comes to an NHL entry draft. Over the years, the Leafs have been justifiably maligned for some of their decisions at the draft table—the names Luca Cereda, Jeff Ware and Eric Fichaud come to mind. But their overall record on draft day is actually, like the team itself, pretty average.

Of the nearly 4,000 players drafted between 1992 and 2006, only about a third (35.3 per cent) had suited up for at least one NHL game prior to the start of the 2007-2008 season, and only a quarter (25.1 per cent) can lay claim to lasting at least 25 games in the big league. Leafs’ draftees are only slightly less likely to have accomplished either feat: 34.1 per cent played at least one game and 23.5 per cent made it to the 25-game mark. In both categories, Toronto finds itself firmly in the middle of the pack.

Where Leafs management has failed in much more spectacular fashion is with first-round picks. In the 15 drafts between 1992 and 2006, the Leafs made 13 first-round selections. While they haven't all been total busts, Toronto’s first-rounders have, on average, produced a meagre 81.3 points over the course of their NHL career—that's good for 21st place among the NHL’s 30 franchises.



Tampa Bay, by comparison, has done a masterful job with its first-round picks. Granted, a number of them were much higher than Toronto’s, most notably the first overall selections in 1992 (Roman Hamrlik) and 1998 (Vincent Lecavalier). But the Lightning managed to convert its 11 first-round selections into 2,526 points, more than double the 1,057 points produced by the Leafs’ 13 first-rounders over the same time span. Ottawa has shown a similar knack for draft success. Bolstered by the likes of Marian Hossa (582 career points) and–gasp!–Alexei Yashin (780 career points), Ottawa’s 16 first-round picks have averaged 211.3 points over the course of their NHL career.



Compared to their Original Six counterparts, the Maple Leafs have iced considerably fewer scoring stars. Since they last hoisted the Stanley Cup back in '67, a meagre 15 Toronto players have finished among the league’s top 10 scorers. Darryl Sittler came closest, finishing third in 1977-78 with an impressive 117-point campaign. Doug Gilmour and Mats Sundin are the only other Leafs to have ranked among the top-five scorers in a single season.



Over the same time span, Boston players wedged their way into the top-10 scorers an astonishing 44 times. Phil Esposito and Bobby Orr alone accounted for 14 appearances, just one shy of all Maple Leafs combined. What’s more, Boston had the league’s top points-getter on its roster eight times. With Mario Lemieux and Jaromir Jagr on their roster for a number of years, Pittsburgh comes closest to Boston’s impressive showing with 37 appearances in the top-10 and a Penguin topped the league in scoring a whopping 12 times. The Colorado-Quebec franchise (29 appearances), Los Angeles (27 appearances), and Edmonton (26 appearances) round out the top-five teams.



Not surprisingly the Leafs' inability to ice (or draft) top-notch talent is reflected in Toronto's haul of year-end awards. Leafs players haven't won a single major trophy since 1967; the last time a Leaf placed second in voting for an award dates back to 1999, when Curtis Joseph lost the Vezina to Buffalo's Dominik Hasek. Aside from Columbus, Carolina, Minnesota, Nashville, Anaheim and Florida—none of which were even in the NHL when the Leafs last won the Cup—no other franchise has been completely shut out at the NHL awards ceremony.



With few exceptions, the Maple Leafs' head coaches since 1967 have had similarly unspectacular tenures in the NHL. And most of them struggled in their next jobs, too—if they could find jobs at all.

Coaching corner. click here


ON SECOND THOUGHT... / Maple Leafs' general managers have authored some of the most disastrous trades in NHL history

Ask Leaf fans about the club's great trades and they'll invariably point to Cliff Fletcher's masterpiece—the astonishing ten-player deal with Calgary that brought Doug Gilmour and Jamie Macoun to Toronto in exchange for Gary Leeman and assorted used parts, and launched two runs to the Stanley Cup semi-finals. They might also mention Fletcher's brilliant acquisition of a young Swede named Mats Sundin from Quebec. Though no trade that sends Wendel Clark packing will qualify as universally popular.

Ask those same fans about the club's worst trades, however, and their eyes will darken. During Harold Ballard's tenure, the Leafs traded some of their best under the worst possible circumstances. Other times, they simply traded good players for bad ones. And the draft-pick-gone wrong has been a constant theme. Indeed, if the Leafs' record at drafting players was half as good as that of the teams they've traded their first-round picks to, they might very well have won a Stanley Cup by now.

What follows are seven of the very worst trades in the last 40 years—a window into the Leaf fan's torment:

March 3, 1968—Frank Mahovlich and Carl Brewer for Norm Ullman and Paul Henderson
In a blockbuster deal that brought the often-testy relationship between 12-year Leafs veteran Mahovlich and coach Punch Imlach to a close, The Big M was shipped to Detroit with Pete Stemkowski, Garry Unger and Carl Brewer in exchange for Norm Ullman, Paul Henderson and Floyd Smith. Mahovlich went on to score 237 more goals for the Red Wings and Montreal, where he won two Stanley Cups. And even leaving aside Mahovlich's status as one of the team's most storied players, the final tally from the trade is as lopsided as it gets: the departing Leafs went on to score 832 goals and 1850 points in 2428 games; the incoming Leafs scored 353 goals and 848 points in just 1074 games.

December 29, 1979—Lanny McDonald and Joel Quenneville for Wilf Paiement and Pat Hickey
In a move widely viewed as a calculated effort to annoy captain Darryl Sittler, whose relationship with Imlach (by then general manager) and owner Harold Ballard was rapidly deteriorating, the team dispatched McDonald and Quenneville to the woeful Colorado Rockies. In return they got Paiement, who had a fruitful 187-game stint with the Leafs, scoring 78 goals and 203 points, before being traded to Quebec for occasionally useful forward Miroslav Frycer, and Hickey, who scored 47 goals over two seasons for the Leafs before being sent to the Rangers for future considerations. McDonald played 11 more seasons for Colorado and Calgary, scoring 66 goals for the Flames in 1982-83 and famously hoisting the Stanley Cup in his final season. Quenneville played ten more seasons as a steady defenceman for the Colorado/New Jersey franchise and Hartford.

January 20, 1982—Darryl Sittler for Rich Costello and Peter Ihnacak
Sittler stuck around after McDonald's departure, but not without temporarily ripping the captain's C from his jersey in protest. With relations again worsening during the 1981-82 season, and rumors of an imminent trade to one of Philadelphia, Minnesota, Buffalo or the New York Islanders dragging on for weeks, Sittler eventually left the team citing stress. He was shipped to Broad Street for 18-year-old prospect Rich Costello, who played all of 12 NHL games, and a second-round draft pick that would turn into forward Peter Ihnacak, a mainstay of mediocrity during the deepest Leaf doldrums of the '80s. Sittler played three more productive seasons, scoring 95 goals and adding 110 assists in 252 games for the Flyers and Red Wings.

November 7, 1988—Russ Courtnall for John Kordic
Canadiens' GM Serge Savard was desperate for a speedy offensive player, and the Leafs had one—Courtnall—languishing in coach John Brophy's doghouse. By way of compensation, 31-year-old Leafs GM Gord Stellick had his eye on Kordic, a rambunctious winger eager to prove he could be more than just a goon. Not surprisingly, Savard took the bait. Detractors point to Courtnall's lack of physical play, but he did log 720 more NHL games, scoring 207 goals and adding 319 assists. Kordic played just 104 games as a Leaf, scoring 10 goals and racking up 441 penalty minutes. Less than four years after the notorious trade, he was dead from heart failure.

October 16, 1989—Scott Niedermayer for Tom Kurvers
Having given up 30 goals in their first five games of the season, Leafs GM Floyd Smith decided the team needed an offensive defenceman. And he got him from New Jersey in the 27-year-old Kurvers, who was so pleased to be a Leaf that he initially refused to report and quickly played his way out of coach Brophy's favour. The cost to the Leafs: their first-round pick in the 1991 entry draft, which the Devils used to draft Norris Trophy winner, future hall-of-famer and three-time Stanley Cup Champion Scott Niedermayer. Kurvers was soon dispatched to Vancouver for Brian Bradley, who was later scooped up for free in the expansion draft by Tampa Bay, where he promptly scored 42 goals.

March 13, 1996—Kenny Jonsson and Roberto Luongo for Wendel Clark and Mathieu Schneider
A week after firing coach Pat Burns, with the team showing no signs of its 1993 and 1994 playoff success, GM Cliff Fletcher threw the fans a bone and brought Wendel Clark back from Long Island, along with defenceman Mathieu Schneider. The main pieces heading south: highly-touted young defenceman Kenny Jonsson and a first-round draft pick that Mike Milbury used to take Roberto Luongo, now widely considered the league's best goalie. Jonsson flirted with stardom, but suffered numerous concussions and returned to his native Sweden after nine seasons with the Islanders. Schneider was later traded to the New York Rangers for Alexander Karpovtsev, while Clark went to Tampa Bay after the 1997-1998 season as a free agent.

October 23, 1999—Steve Sullivan for nothing
Having sent a second-round draft pick to Boston in order to sign forward Dmitri Khristich—who soon proved as unwelcome in the Leafs' dressing room as he had been in the Capitals', Kings' and Bruins'—the Leafs were forced to put a player on waivers. Deeming the likes of Tie Domi and Kris King too valuable to the team, GM Pat Quinn instead chose a diminutive, feisty Timmins, Ont.-native who was fresh off his first of what is now six 20-goal seasons in the NHL—Steve Sullivan, one of the principals in the 1997 trade that sent Doug Gilmour to New Jersey. Sullivan has missed the entire 2007-08 campaign with a back injury, but has scored an impressive 180 goals and 281 assists in 520 games for Chicago and Nashville since leaving the Leafs.



Browse inside the book. click here

The inside story of how Al Strachan lost his job at Hockey Night In Canada shines a bright, not so pretty light into the world of sports television and how decisions are made. Strachan, a longtime hockey writer and former Gazette sports editor, refused to comment on his sudden ouster as a regular on Hockey Night’s Hotstove intermission segment, but publishing sources confirmed today that his departure is tied to a book he wrote with the no-so-subtle title of "Why The Leafs Suck."

The book, released a few weeks ago by Harper Collins, apparently incensed the CBC, because Strachan was identified on the cover as being “from Hockey Night In Canada,” despite the fact permission had not been given by the network for the show’s name to be used on the cover of the book. “Scott Moore (the head of CBC Sports and also head of marketing and advertising for the network) went ballistic,” said one insider. Moore’s response certainly seems out of character and raises more questions than it answers.

Why wouldn’t the CBC want its leading brand displayed on the cover of a book? Wouldn’t it be good publicity? Was the content of the book a problem for the CBC? Apparently not. At least, that’s what sources told us. Was the CBC pressured by the Toronto Maple Leafs to punish Strachan for writing a book that would embarrass the organization? Again, the answer seems to be no.

The principal title is: Why The Leafs Suck, but the book comes with the more hopeful subtitle: And How They Can Be Fixed. While some may view the book as an exploration into uncovering skeletons, others will no doubt be openly hostile in criticizing it for being an anti-Leaf hatchet job. That said, the book takes a tough look at arguably the most incompetent NHL franchise of the past 40 years. With Toronto's lack of Stanley Cup success, Strachan delves into the mystery of failure and dissects the Leafs' history since their 1967 Cup championship, from Harold Ballard, to head coaches, to poor trades over the years, to the organization's treatment of some of its stars.

In one chapter, Strachan comes down hard on Leaf general manager Brian Burke, who was hired last winter and is viewed by most in the Toronto hockey community as a top hockey guy. Given the Leafs are winless and in last place early in the season, Strachan’s assessment of Burke might be worth reading. But Strachan’s dismissal is only part of the story.

The CBC’s lawyers also demanded that Harper Collins cover over the Hockey Night reference on the book’s front with a non-removable sticker for all future copies leaving the warehouse. Book sellers were also required to cover over the name on the books that they had in stock. Strachan, for his part, would say about his dismissal only, “The decision was made by Hockey Night In Canada, so you would have to ask them why they made it. But it involves a copyright issue and not an on-camera or production issue.” Strachan, who lives in the small town of Saint Andrews, N.B., flew to Toronto weekly to appear on the Hotstove. He was paid in excess of $500 a show.

In this chapter, Strachan looks at the handling of goaltender Curtis Joseph:

Curtis Joseph was a star. He willingly gave the organization a lustre that it didn't deserve. If for no other reason than that, he deserved to be well treated. But the Leafs have a history of embarrassing those who serve them best. Then they wonder why so many stars prefer to play elsewhere. For some reason, the Maple Leafs seem to be unable to terminate relationships with their stars in an amicable fashion. When Joseph's contract was winding down, it should have been a simple matter to tell him either that they were interested in retaining his services or they weren't. After all, Joseph's abilities and accomplishments were well established. He'd been their goalie for four years.

But nothing is simple when it comes to the Leafs' financial dealings. Joseph had done some great work for the Leafs and for the city of Toronto. He arrived in 1998 as a free agent and used a substantial segment of his salary - more than $500,000 annually - to buy a box at Maple Leaf Gardens and subsequently at the Air Canada Centre, which he donated to the Sick Children's Hospital. At each game, for the duration of Joseph's stay in Toronto, a number of children, many of them terminally ill, would be treated royally in that box. If their doctors allowed it, they would get the usual kids' treats of hot dogs and soft drinks. Otherwise, they would get as much fun food as their prescribed diets would allow. They all got a picture of Curtis, each one personally autographed to the youngster. Joseph also visited the hospital frequently, and on more than one occasion when expensive medical equipment was required, he bought it. All of this was done without fanfare.

On the ice, he was everything the Toronto fans had been looking for in a goaltender. He won more than 30 games for three consecutive seasons and was the runner-up for the Vezina Trophy in both 1999 and 2000. He was the goaltender who led the Leafs to their best season during Pat Quinn's tenure - their trip to the Eastern Conference final in 2002. But a few weeks later, in summer 2002, none of this mattered. Of course, the situation should have been resolved long before that. And perhaps it was, but the Leafs, in typical fashion, simply didn't bother to tell Joseph. But there's plenty of evidence that the Toronto front office did not deal with Joseph in good faith. As the season wound down, they refused to meet Joseph's agent, Don Meehan, to get the negotiations under way. As Joseph said shortly after settling in with his new team, the Detroit Red Wings. "Donnie negotiated in good faith. I don't think they negotiated in good faith - ever. Not at all."

The Leafs, however, had managed to put their usual misleading spin on the matter. Quinn appeared as a guest on a TSN show hosted by Michael Landsberg and said that Joseph had been asking for $11.5 million annually. He added: "We were convinced at a certain level, but not at the eleven-and-a-half-million-dollar level." Joseph had been in the U.S. when the show aired and hadn't heard about it. When told of the allegation, he responded: "That's insane. That's utterly insane. "Not at all," he said, continuing to shake his head in disbelief. "Not a chance." The charitable might call it confusion. Others might call it duplicity. But whatever it was, it happened on all levels, and it plagued the negotiations between the Leafs and Meehan.

Joseph can't escape the feeling that for some reason, the Leafs never intended to keep him. Certainly, that appears to be the case. According to Joseph, the negotiations, such as they were, never came close to the figures Quinn mentioned repeatedly. Furthermore, the people who had the responsibility for making the decisions, Quinn and Dryden, were involved only sporadically. Most of the talks were between Meehan and Bill Watters, then assistant to the president. "Somebody came up with 7.2, right at the beginning after Mats had signed," Joseph said. "That was the first and only offer. I think Bill and Donnie were negotiating, then Donnie phoned back and ..." Joseph made a whistling sound to indicate the offer had been whisked away. "It ended up being up somewhere around 8.5 as an offer," said Joseph. "But that was at the last minute after (Dominik) Hasek retired. I think until then, (the only serious talks occurred when) Donnie was negotiating a contract for four years and they pulled it off the table."

It seems odd to start to negotiate a contract within certain parameters, then withdraw it. Why would they do so? "I have no idea," said Joseph. "There's no communication there. I have no idea. No phone call. No nothing. "That shouldn't come as a shock to anyone. These are the Leafs we're talking about. At that stage, as at so many other stages during the lengthy Stanley Cup drought, the Leafs' front office was in a state of constant confusion...

For fans who love the Toronto Maple Leafs (and those who love to hate them), Why the Leafs Suck is a revealing and sometimes shocking inside look at professional hockey. Every year since 1968, Leafs fans have hoped the new season will be the one to break the Stanley Cup drought. Sadly, those hopes are usually dashed mid-season. In the biggest hockey market in North America, with such a huge and loyal fan base, how has the team missed it for so long? Al Strachan has been covering the NHL for decades and has the behind-the scenes access to know what's gone wrong and why. In this excerpt from Why the Leafs Suck, Al discusses a pivotal moment in Leafs history when owner Steve Stavro passed up the chance to have Wayne Gretzky, the Great One, play as a Leaf.

The Light at the End of the Tunnel Gets Extinguished

Stavro, who had never supported Fletcher's free-spending ways and whose grocery business was running into difficult times, was not happy about the loss of playoff revenue. NHL players don't get paid during the playoffs, so the revenue the teams receive is just gravy for the owners. But a first-round loss with only three home games was far less than Stavro wanted, and he started demanding that the more expensive players on the roster be unloaded.

In the summer of 1996, Fletcher had the opportunity to put the jewel in the crown. Gretzky, who had always harboured a love for the Maple Leafs, wanted to play in Toronto. His contract with the St. Louis Blues had expired, and he was a free agent. Gretzky and his agent, Mike Barnett, talked with a series of teams, but one was the primary target.

"There were four deals I could have had," said Gretzky in a 2009 interview. "Bob Gainey called from the Dallas Stars, but I felt I'd already played in the southern United States and I didn't want to do that again. At that time, Dallas wasn't as established as it became later. Bob gave me a firm offer, and it was a good deal, but I'd been through the thing of building a team in the south and I just wanted to go to a team that was more established.

"The second offer was from Vancouver. I spent fourteen hours negotiating with them, but that fell through. I was really kind of relieved because I really wanted to go to Toronto. We called Cliff and asked if he was interested. He said he was, but if I was looking for big money, it was not going to happen. The owner was trying to save money to put it towards a new arena. So I said, 'Just put together a reasonable offer and we'll see what we can do.' He came back with a deal for $3 million a year with some money deferred. We said, 'Okay, we like that.'

"Toronto was my first choice. It was really where I wanted to go. But Cliff came back and said he had taken it to the owner, and the owner nixed it. The New York Rangers' offer came the next day, so I went to New York. "The elated Fletcher, with the Gretzky contract sealed and delivered but not signed, had taken the proposition to Stavro for what he thought would be a rubber-stamp approval. Wayne Gretzky, a living legend, was to end his career as a Maple Leaf.

Stavro's response was telling. "How many seats will that sell?" he asked. The answer, of course, was that it wouldn't sell any. Even in the woeful days of the Ballard era, Maple Leaf Gardens had always sold out. The Gretzky deal was vetoed and the greatest player of his day -- some would say the greatest player ever -- went to the New York Rangers for an annual salary of $6.25 million.

Fletcher persevered and, at the 1997 trading deadline, made what was an excellent deal for the Leafs. He sent Doug Gilmour to the New Jersey Devils for Alyn McCauley, Jason Smith and Steve Sullivan. At least, it would have been an excellent deal had his successors kept the three players instead of frittering them away. But a few weeks later, the Leafs missed the playoffs, and Stavro had the excuse to do what he would have liked to have done six years ear her. He got rid of Fletcher.

The firing was made public on May 24, 1997, but in reality the Fletcher era ended about fourteen months earlier, when Stavro turned Maple Leaf Gardens Ltd. into a private company. From that point on, the focus changed. The primary concern was no longer the development of a good hockey team. The primary concern -- some might say obsession -- was profit. Fletcher was not fired because he did a bad job. Hockey teams go in cycles, and the Leafs were on their way back up. Fletcher was fired because Stavro needed a scapegoat.

Fletcher had a track record of building teams by spending. In Toronto, he made deals to acquire expensive players -- Gilmour and Mats Sundin, for instance -- and an expensive coach, Pat Burns. When he was forced by Stavro to move out expensive players, and the team was dismantled, it went totally against the methodology Fletcher had followed throughout his entire career. It was Stavro, not Fletcher, who wanted -- and got -- the jettisoning of such players as Mike Gartner, Dave Gagner and Todd Gill, a series of moves which then made it plausible to ship out Gilmour and Dave Ellett. It was Stavro who vetoed the signing of Gretzky...

TOUGH LUCK AND TOUGHER JOB AT WAR OVER PRINT

Murder is the leading cause of work-related deaths for journalists worldwide. 2007 was the deadliest year for press in more than a decade which saw 64 people killed & another 22 deaths suspected to be news-linked. In Iraq, Pakistan, Somalia, Sudan, North Korea, Burma, Afghanistan & China, journalists have been gunned down, caught in combat crossfire, targeted by suicide bombers, assassinated, abducted, detained, harassed, kidnapped for ransom, expelled, threatened, tortured, imprisoned (a Tamil writer was recently sentenced to 20yrs for 2 articles(!)) and have faced psychological & financial pressures - all this ironically at a time when media has drastically expanded communication across borders. The exposure of failing economies, human rights violations, civil war, fixed elections, brutal repression, corruption, terrorism & tyrannical dictatorship has put a target on the backs of reporters for their coverage (and courage). Truth indeed is a deadly lethal weapon.

ELIMINATOR JR.

Twice last week dowtown, I went by ROM & was walking by Queen's Park to the subway. I hadn't been by in ages and got to thinking how whenever I've passed the statue of Gov. Simcoe the weather has always been nice n' Tampa. So as I'm finishing my scenic stroll (or 'frolic' for a Death Angel reference) & am coming off the pathway, some woman is slowly approaching me, looking at me intently & I can see she's waiting for me to get closer.

"Hello young man, may I ask you something?"

Sure.

"I've noticed something about your shirt".

Ok, AND? (here we go - another psych indicator for a novice shrink who's going to analyze me due to an item of clothing & infact I'm wearing a hoodie)

"Well quite frankly, the name across your chest is awfully dark".

You can't read it?

"No, not that. I mean... gloomy. If I didn't know any better I'd think you were a nihilist. The name is pretty violent. ha ha"

Huh? Wow. (You're right lady, you don't know me any better. I'm hardly the picture posterboy of a schizo on the verge of postalness & we can't always be wearing sun-drenched tye-dye of rasta red-yellow-green, can we?)

I guess wearing a piece of wardrobe with 'TERROR' emblazened on the front is a clever sign of sociopathia. And of all things, she was wearing a greasy-looking, dirty stained, mesh trucker cap (now if that isn't wardrobe for fuck-ups)... Seeing it on her made her appear, well quite frankly... 'odd'. Figures. I'm always dealing with yokels. And the 'odd' thing is I've dealt with this on the train into work sometimes. I guess one could say "well, what'd you expect? it's bound to trigger antsy, edgy, itchy people" but ugh, still annoying.

THREAT ASSESSMENT: COMPLETE BANDOGRAPHY

Possibly the most musically and ideologically influential hardcore punk band of all time, Minor Threat is a beloved bastion of santiy, creativity, sincerity, and the punk rock ethic. The core of Minor Threat originated in the Summer of 1979 with the Washington,DC punk scene already in progress from bands like URBAN VERBS (the 1st local faves to sign to a mjor - Warner), RAZZ (future producer Ted Niceley), ENZYMES (future Rollins guitarist Chris Haskett) and the legendary BAD BRAINS creating excitement with their explosive hyperspeed punk sound... 17yr old bassist Ian Thomas Garner MacKaye and 17yr old drummer Jeff Nelson formed THE SLINKEES. With Ian writing the majority of lyrics for the fledgling goup, the band broke up after their one n' only show when the singer (Mark Sullivan) left to attend Colgate University. The remainder of The Slinkees - Ian, Jeff, and Geordie Grindle (guitarist) - got a new singer within a month (Nathan Strejcek) and formed THE TEEN IDLES in September 1979. Most of DC's age-restricted clubs slammed the door in their young faces but the Bad Brains would often find places for their gigs & by posting their own show fliers, the Teen Idles were soon drawing 150-200 kids anywhere in the city. At this point, Ian and Jeff helped form Dischord Records, and in September 1980, the band recorded their first release, an EP entitled "Minor Disturbance" in Inner Ear studios (the band being a fuzzy memory by the time of the single's release). Dischord later released a sampler entitled "Flex Your Head", on which The Teen Idles had 3 songs. Their friend Skip Groff of Limp Records had provided them with a know-how ethic of diy resulting in $600 saved in the band account despite an average $20-30 payment per show. They also managed to get banned from 1 San Francisco club, 9 DC clubs, the LA Greyhound station, and, yes, even Disneyland(!) It had been just 1 year since Jeff had seen his 1st punk show - The Clash.

Meanwhile Washington's hardcore scene was growing rapidly: the Teen Idles' 5th member & roadie Henry Garfield started singing for short lived n'long remembered STATE OF ALERT in October 1980. He later changed his last name to 'Rollins' and in the spring of 1981 joins BLACK FLAG taking that group into their most popular & memorable period. In November 1980, the Teen Idles broke up when Geordie became disinterested in hardcore, and Nathan joined Youth Brigade (not the Southern Californian Stern bros.) by rounding up ex-members of recently disbanded UNTOUCHABLES (featuring Ian's brother Alec later of IGNITION). Ian and Jeff stuck together for their 3rd band, with Ian moved over to the mic. With new additions Lyle Preslar (formerly of the EXTORTS) on guitar & Brian Baker (formerly of CROSSBOW) on bass, MINOR THREAT was born. In response to the ridicule the Teen Idles received for their unapologetic anti-drug stance, Ian had originally suggested their new band be called "Straight" but the guys decided against the name with Ian still writing a song about it anyway - inadvertently coining the term 'straight edge' which spearheaded an ideology of abstinence from intoxication and loose sex as a vehicle of sober and intelligent rebellion against the countless social norms that struck them as idiotic. In April of 1981, Minor Threat recorded their ground breaking 8-song EP, "Minor Threat" and released it on Dischord. Their musical style was fast yes melodic, raw yet tight, furious yet controlled, complex yet never complicated - a host of paradoxes that scores of bands have spent decades in vain trying to imitate. During the summer, the band toured for the 1st time with fellow locals Youth Brigade in comical fashion: the 2 groups and 12 of their friends piled into the parental family rec van of Youth Brigade's drummer Tom Clinton, Ian's 1970 Plymouth Duster & Brian's mother's Volvo Wagon. Tommy's mother called him on the road threatening to pull his college funding unless he returned home. He gave in & neither band reached the west coast.

By August 1981, Minor Threat recorded their 2n EP on Dischord released in December: "In My Eyes", augmenting their legacy of penetrating, sober personal & social commentary and raw, angry, emotional, excellent music. But in September, Lyle left DC to attend college in Chicago and the band split up. Shortly after, Brian left to join GOVERNMENT ISSUE, while Ian and Jeff again stick together, forming a band called SKEWBALD/GRAND UNION with John Falls of Youth Brigade & IRON CROSS on bass, and Eddie Machete of The Untouchables and NOTHING SACRED on guitar. This band never played a show, but they did record 2 songs, which were released a decade later as the 50th Dischord record. On Halloween, L.A. hardcore band Fear plays on Saturday Night Live in NYC. Booked at the insistence of fan John Belushi's request, Ian n' Jeff & several DC cohorts (Henry Rollins contrary to popular belief was not at the taping) are bussed-in showing up for the disruptive melee. The ruckus that ensues is notoriously chaotic & NBC pulls the plug on Fear with punk bands being banned for the next decade. (As a deal with Belushi, Black Flag would've been the 2nd hardcore group to appear on SNL). By Christmas, Lyle was home for holiday vacation & admitted to his former bandmates his hatred of school. That winter when Black Flag toured England for their 1st time, Ian joins them. Minor Threat reformed in April 1982 with the return of both Lyle & Brian. In September, a short addition saw bassist Steve Hansgen joining the band as a brief 5some with Brian moving over to guitar and with this impeccable lineup, the band recorded what is easily one of the greatest, hardcore punk albums the genre has ever put out: "Out Of Step", an LP released on Dischord in January of 1983.

On their next tour of extensive cross-country dates, Minor Threat pulled into San Diego for a show with experimental keyboard act Men of Clay, local legends Battalion of Saints & a band many of Minor Threat's peers were calling "the Minneapolis Bad Brains" - Husker Du (whom they first saw in Chicago in 1981). Ian in later years would recall with a sense of humor that the 1st thing singer Bob Mould ever said to him when both bands met again in 1983 was "fuck straight edge". By May, the band returned to it's original line-up as Steve moved on to play in SECOND WIND (with roadie Rich Moore). John Loder of Southern Records approaches the band about doing their next record in NYC but feels Brian is too rock n' rolly & AC/DC-ish looking but a productive working relationship with Southern and Dischord would be established. On September 23rd, the band plays their final show & disbands for good perhaps to avoid turning into 'rockstars' as the band was gaining such a huge popularity. More likely, it was in a feeling of dismay at the macho-ness of the scene that had evolved around their sound particularly from the violence of skinheads ruining shows, drunkpunks & newbies dragging the scene downhill. In December 1983, they put out their final swan song release, a Dischord EP entitled "Salad Days", which was mostly a commentary on their own decision to breakup. Much of Washington's hardcore scene having spawned FAITH, VOID, ARTIFICIAL PEACE and SCREAM could relate to the song's lyrics: 'Look at us today / we've gotten soft and fat / waiting for the moment / it's just not coming back"...

Washington,DC's scene yearbook 'Banned in DC' subtly proves the point by making 1984 its shortest chapter. Ian's frustration with the DC punk state of disarray convenes a meeting of friends and other early-80's scene participants to rebuild a scene that challeneges musical, lyrical & ethical considerations. The image overhaul plan was named 'Good Food October' to promote an end-of-the-month deadline but little materializes except for RITES OF SPRING (featuring Guy Picciotto & Brendan Canty - ex-INSRRECTION both of whom later join Ian with Joe Lally to for FUGAZI). In 1985, Ian joined 3 ex-Faith members to form EMBRACE & with further scene bands BEEFEATER, KINGFACE, LUNCHMEAT, MARGINAL MAN, MISSION IMPOSSIBLE and GRAY MATTER, Good Food October is now reconfigured as 'Revolution Summer' as a means of people taking back their music & re-inforcing positive vibe.

Lyle Preslar and Brain Baker both went on to a band called The 400 with members of Negative Approach. Brian also went on to form Dag Nasty having played in Junkyard, Doggy Style and The Meatmen and at present resides in Bad Religion. Lyle played with Glenn Danzing (of the Misfits) on Samhain's 1st album. After retiring from performing, he ran Caroline Records (signing Ben Folds, Chemical Brothers & Fat Boy Slim), was later a marketing executive for Elektra Records and Sire Records, married a VH1 executive, won a prestigious writing prize in 2007 for an article about satellite radio & is currently a law graduate practicing in NY. Jeff Nelson continued running Dischord Records along with Ian, and the pair did another band together (their 4th), called Egghunt. He went on to play in a variety of other bands such as Three, Senator Flux, Feedbag, Wonderama and High-Back Chairs. He continues to play in the band Fast Piece of Furniture, founded Adult Swim Records in 1989 & is an aficionado n' collector of Jeep Wagoneers and Victorian architecture. Ian having done the Pailhead side project of industrial band Ministry and perfoming with his lady Amy Farina as duo The Evens, he continues to be an influence & inspiration counting label co-founder/co-owner, recording engineer/co-producer, enthusiastic promoter of independent-minded aesthetic, underground media performer, anti-war n' civil rights protester/activist, book-forward contributor and frequent documentary film subject to his highly impressive resume.

1


2


3



4

THE CURE FOR WHAT ALES YOU

Happy 250th birthday.

ARCHAEOLOGIST OF THE MIND

Sigmund Freud : The father of modern psychology jokingly referred to as the 'love doctor'. Scorned & ridiculed for his taboo, unsavory theories of sex & human sexulaity lifting the lid off repressed society. Blasted as a writer of pornographic material. Frequently lampooned & satirized. Hypnotist & inventor of the 'talking cure' providing a couch. Cocaine advocator & addict. Exploring the psyche/subconscious to trace traumatic hysteria back to childhood. Libido to eliminate neurotica from transference during psychotherapy. The Oedipus Rex complex in psychoanalysis & the Freudian slip. Grave fears over barbarism running rampant in the world. Detester of birth control & minunderstander of women. His bitter split from psychiatrist protoge Carl Jung & escaping the Nazis. The rest of his life in London ravaged by cancer. Denounced by his own granddaughter as a false prophet.

Today is the 70th anniversary of his death.

LEAVE IT TO A STOOL PIGEON WITH EXCREMENTAL THOUGHT ON THE FECAL MATTER AT HAND

In spilling the bowels of indictment, life held hostage is constipation with its restriction of movement & the voluntary. Ex-Lax and kaopectate are rebels facilitating change & freedom by responding to the urgency of emergency. Many in the masses spew 'live fast, diarrhea' suffering the condition with no relief but such is a finality that needn't be when pattern merely requires one to wipe thoroughly, flush, wash properly & use air freshener. The problem is temporary & always reversible. And what of the indignity of having to endure someone taking a giant dump on us? (Endocrine systematic doodoo, to paraphrase NOFX) 'Now we've gone and stepped in it' can best summarize ignorance -- see jackshit full of shit. Told to eat shit because of his bullshit. Is he a dipshit? You bet. Total crap is his food; a daily meal & more of it comes out of his mouth than his ass. (Man, I should be a punk singer just so the theorizing would look good in quotes as an excerpt in a fanzine interview).

THE LAST ACT OF DEFIANCE

Simon Wiesenthal died in 2005. Yesterday he would have been 100yrs old.

PRECIOUS LIQUID CLEAR

WATER INC by Varda Burstyn
This debut novel is an interesting eco-thriller about an impending water crisis that sees a shady consortium of agenda-driven American billionaires plotting to pipe water from northern Quebec into the dry n' drought-ridden US. With further collusion from shadowy politicians & officials, everyone is unconcerned that the consequences of the massive water-grab will spell enviro-disaster for the province - and even murder will not be ruled out to protect the secrecy of the multibillion dollar scheme. Fighting back are disparate groups of Canadian activists, a disillusioned exec, a campaigning journalist, computer hackers & rogue cops. All the players square off in a deadly game of intrigue full of double-bluff where unaccountable global corporations hide their misdeeds/illegalities in tainted tactics, shell companies & myriad money trails only matched by opposing common bonds of solidarity, demonstration & justice through cross-border co-operation to stop the larceny of the corrupt controlling of commodity. As we currently deal with whistleblowers, criminals in business suits, radical protesters & sketchy law enforcement, the choice between greed n' humanity involving our natural resources decides the fate of millions of people for decades to come.

EXTINCTION by Ray Hammond
Another sharp eco-thriller set 50yrs into a very grim future where climate control has become a reality but only the rich West can afford to buy the technology from the sinister, giant energy corporations that hold the exclusive monopoly on the systems. The rest of the globe struggles to cope with ever-worsening climate conditions as rising sea levels & widespread flooding uproots countless refugees from inundated countries, forcing them all to take to the sea in whatever vessels they can find & thus fasten them together to form vast floating islands (hmm, strikingly similar in partial premise to the Kevin Costner movie 'Waterworld'). These makeshift enviro-mariners now unrecognized by any nation & kept from landfall by the world's navies, scrounge for a precarious n' miserable existence adrift in the South Atlantic until a human rights lawyer takes up their cause but fate is about to deal a cruel blow for as he attempts to argue for justice before the initimidating international courts, the preparation of his case is upstaged by manufactured mother nature; a pre-emption by the earth itselfs' upheaval as devastating volcanic eruptions, tornados, earthquakes, hurricanes & massive tsunamis - all triggered by the greed of the weather-management companies - threaten the very existence of mankind. With today's sci-fi background flanked by uneasy drama & murky politics, there's an ultimately urgent timely/urgent message here (thankfully free of preaching) skilffully intermeshing how the planetary peril of dangerous meddling is a ticking clock of doom.

Dying of thirst? click here

FISCALS & QUARTERS

Crash 1. click here
Crash 2. click here
Crash 3. click here
Crash 4. click here
Crash 5. click here

Cashing in on bottoming out. click here

1 year since the economic meltdown. 1 year of panic from headlines blaring bankruptcy, downsizing, pay cuts, job losses, unemployment, credit tailspin, crippling debt, housing woes, foreclosure, mortgages, inflation, recession, deficit, budget, bailout & stimulus. 1 year spent calculating the downturn offering explanations, assigning blame & proposing solutions. 1 year later as the world shows slow signs of recovery in financial foothold, we're still puzzled in asking how again exactly did this happen...

(with thanks and apologies to MSNBC)

REWIND THE RIPPLE EFFECT

Apr. 2007 New Century Financial, which specializes in sub-prime mortgages, files for Chapter 11 bankruptcy protection and cuts half of its workforce

Aug.1, 2007 Two Bear Stearns hedge funds file for bankruptcy after sustaining heavy mortgage-related losses, kicking off a global credit crisis as funds fail around the world. CNBC anchor Jim Cramer warns of an economic “Armageddon” accusing the Fed of being asleep at the wheel.

Aug.6, 2007 American Home Mortgage, the 10th-largest mortgage lender, files for chapter 11 bankruptcy - another early sign of collapse.

Aug.9, 2007 French investment bank BNP Paribas suspends three investment funds that invested in subprime mortgage debt; they offer as an explanation the "complete evaporation of liquidity" in the market, a formulation that is viewd as the clearest sign yet that banks are refusing to do business with each other.

Aug.31, 2007 President Bush proposes a program to help some struggling homeowners renegotiate their loan terms; Fed Chairman Bernanke pledges to do everything necessary to protect the economy from marker turmoil. Ameriquest, once the largest subprime lender in the U.S., goes out of business, selling its loan servicing arm to Citigroup.

Sept.14, 2007 Britain’s Northern Rock bank gets emergency support from the Bank of England, sparking a run on the bank’s deposits.

Sept.17, 2007 Former Fed Chairman Alan Greenspan warns that current market turmoil is “identical” in many ways to that which occurred in 1987 and 1998. He also warns of “large double-digit declines” in home values.

Sept.18, 2007 The Fed cuts short-term interest rates by half a percentage point to 4.75 percent, marking the first rate cut in more than four years.

Oct.1, 2007 Swiss bank UBS is the world's first top-flight bank to announce losses of $3.4bn - from sub-prime related investments.

Oct.9, 2007 The Dow Jones industrial average closes at a record high of 14,164.53.

Oct.16, 2007 Treasury Secretary Hank Paulson says the housing collapse is “the most significant risk to our economy”.

Nov.1, 2007 The Fed injects $41 billion into the financial systems, the largest amount since the days following 9/11.

Jan.11, 2008 Bank of America announces plans to buy Countrywide Financial, a large mortgage lender, for $4.1 billion.

Jan.18, 2008 President Bush proposes a stimulus plan. “The plan must be built on broad-based tax relief that will directly affect economic growth and not the kind of spending projects that would have little immediate impact on our economy”, he decides.

Jan.25, 2008 The National Association of Realtors announces that the decline in existing-home sales is the worst in 25 years.

Feb.7, 2008 Senate passes $170 billion economic stimulus package.

May.30, 2008 JP Morgan Chase buys Bear Stearns, Wall Street’s 5th largest bank, for $10 a share (initially $2). The unprecedented deal is engineered by the Treasury Department and backed by $30 billion of loans from the Fed, marking the 1st time the central bank has extended credit outside the banking system.

June.19, 2008 The FBI arrests more than 400 people, including mortgage brokers, appraisers and home builders, as part of a crackdown on alleged mortgage schemes worth $1 billion.

July.9, 2008 Phil Gramm, at the time the chief economic adviser for GOP presidential candidate John McCain, says the economic meltdown is not as dire as it appears. “We have sort of become a nation of whiners”, he says.

July.11, 2008 IndyMac Bank is seized by federal regulators, succumbing to the pressures of tighter credit, tumbling home prices and rising foreclosures. It is the 2nd largest financial institution to close in U.S. history.

July.18, 2008 At a luncheon meeting, Bush makes informal remarks ”There’s no question about it. Wall Street got drunk. It got drunk and now it’s got a hangover. The question is how long will it sober up and not try to do all these fancy financial instruments.”.

Sept.7, 2008 The federal government announces it will take over Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac which until then had nominally been independent.

Sept.14, 2008 Merrill Lynch is acquired by BOA, pending approval of regulators and shareholders, in a deal that would become the focus of congressional hearings.

Sept.15, 2008 After a feverish weekend of negotiations fails to turn up a buyer, Lehman Bros. files for bankruptcy protection, the largest bankruptcy ever in U.S history. Paulson says he “never once considered helping Lehman Bros. by putting taxpayer money at risk.”

Sept.16, 2008 The Federal Reserve steps into rescue American International Group Inc. one of the world’s largest insurers, with an unprecedented injection of $85 billion in loans. The Fed takes a controlling 80 percent stake in the company and its investment ultimately grows over $130 billion.

Sept.17, 2008 The Dow drops sharply for the 2nd time in three days, sending the blue-chip index top a bear-market low of 10,609, down more than 33 percent from its 2007 peak.

Sept.18, 2008 The Fed, in conjunction with central banks around the world, injects another $180 billion in liquidity into the global financial system.

Sept.19, 2008 For the second consecutive day, the Dow industrials skyrocket, giving them a massive gain of more than 780 points in the two days.

Sept.23, 2008 Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson and Fed chief Ben Bernanke face congressional leaders. “I share the outrage that people have. I think it’s embarrassing to the United States of America”, says Paulson.

Sept.24, 2008 In a 12-minute prime-time address, President Bush warns Americans and lawmakers that failing to act fast on a bailout plan to rescue the US financial sector would mean “a long and painful recession.”

Sept.25, 2008 Washington Mutual collapses under the weight of its enormous bad bets on the mortgage marker. The Federal Deposit Insurance Corp. seizes WaMu, and then sells the thrift’s banking assets to JP Morgan Chase for $1.9 billion.

Sept.26, 2008 After earlier threatening to pull out of the Presidential debate in Oxford, Miss., because of the economic crisis, GOP candidate John McCain changes course and agrees to share the stage with Democrat Barack Obama.

Sept.28, 2008 The credit crunch hits Europe's banking sector as the European banking and insurance giant Fortis is partly nationalised to ensure its survival.

Sept.29, 2008 Fear spreads on Wall Street-sending the Dow down 777 points, the largest one-day point drop in history - after the House surprisingly rejected a compromise bailout package.

Sept.30, 2008 The Belgian-French bank Dexia becomes the latest European bank to be bailed out as the deepening credit crisis continues to shake the banking sector.

Oct.3, 2008 After a week of intense negotiations, the House voted 263-171 to approve a revised bailout package (with Bush quickly signing the bill) previously passed by the Senate on Oct.1.

Oct.7, 2008 The Icelandic government takes control of Landsbanki, the country's 2nd largest bank, which owns the UK internet bank Icesave.

Oct.8, 2008 In a rare coordinated move, the Federal Reserve and other major central banks slash interest rates by a half-percentage point in an effort to control the mushrooming financial crisis.

Oct.10, 2008 After watching Wall Street suffer its worst week in history, Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson announced that the government will buy stock in American banks for the first time since the Great Depression.

Oct.13, 2008 European governments put $2.3 trillion on the line in guarantees and other emergency measures to save the banking system in their most unified response yet to the global crisis. Dow soars 936 points for its best day in more than 75 years.

Oct.14, 2008 The U.S. government puts itself four-square into the country’s banking business, making what President Bush conceded was the unwelcome choice of massive government investments in the banking system to loosen paralyzed channels of credit.

Oct. 15, 2008 Just two days after an unprecedented 936-point gain, the Dow plummets 733 points, or 7.8 percent, to its 2nd largest point loss ever.

Oct.29, 2008 Fed cuts overnight lending rate a half-point to 1 percent, its lowest level in more than four years.

Nov.12, 2008 Paulson says the government will no longer buy distressed mortgage-related assets, formerly the centerpiece of the bailout, and instead will concentrate on injecting capital into banks.

Nov.23, 2008 The Treasury says it will invest another $20 billion in Citigroup Inc. to rescue the ailing banking giant. Federal authorities also pledge to backstop large losses Citigroup might absorb on $306 billion in real estate-related assets.

Dec.16, 2008 The Fed cuts it's overnight lending rate from one percent to virtually zero, establishing a record-low range of zero to0.25 percent as central bankers pledge to use "all available tools to promote the resumption of sustainable economic growth."

Jan.20, 2009 Barack Obama becomes the 44th US President and the 1st African-American to hold the post. "The state of our economy calls for action, bold and swift, and we will act - not only to create new jobs, but to lay a new foundation for growth" he says.

Feb 10, 2009 Treasury Secretary Timothy Geithner announces plans to expand the government's bank bailout program, but details are vague. Stock prices plunge.

Feb.13, 2009 With little Republican support, Congress passes a massive $787 billion stimulus bill aimed at battling the deep recession. Still savoring his 1st major victory in Congress, Obama says the bill marks a "major milestone on our road to recovery."

May.5, 2009 Has Karl Marx's vision have at long last come to fruition as workers of the world (ok ok, the United Auto Workers) seize control of the means of production? With Chrysler forced into bankruptcy the week before, the UAW is apparently poised to own a majority stake & more than a third of GM. Too bad the revolution might not save their jobs. Oh, how the lickspittle suffer.

Jun.30 2009 The 1st half of 2009 ends with GDP shrinking at a rate of about one percent, compared with 6.4 percent decline in the 1st quarter, suggesting that the worst of the recession is over.

Sept.4 2009 Unemployment rate rises to 9.7 percent, its highest level since 1983. although the pace of job losses is moderating.

A SHORT, QUICK HISTORY OF RECESSION
Arduous money trouble in times of credit crisis ain't called 'hard times' for nothing: 1929 saw the Great Crash sending ticker tapes into a frenzy signalling the end of prosperity. The disbelief of bank failure was traumatic & although the dow jones slightly rebounded, it plummeted again & by the time life had sputtered back in 1933, the worst days of the Depression had passed but it took decades for markets to regain their pre-cash value. The Christmas 1957 consumerism bottoming-out was due to a decline in international trade, car sales at a post-WWII low & rising unemployment. It took 3 times for the first 3 months of 1958 to see recovery. The 1973 oil n' energy crisis saw high inflation spinning its wheels. An early slip led to a rally only to run itself into a ditch from 1000 points on the index to a low of 577 by 1974. The dual falling of stocks in 1980 and 1982 with Reagan still in the early days of his Presidency involved a false start on the index with a jump by winter only for the gains to crumble again by spring. In 1987 the market crashed again. Restoration was relatively rapid & the recession that hit in 1990 caused the index to nosedive with nearly 20% of its value evaporating that summer. The overheated economy led to wildly unpopular wage freezes & unpaid leave for civil servants.

APPLAUD THE SUFFERING

Victimization sees hero worship because of what we interpret n' translate as achievement through betterness of great lessons learned inspite of flaws n' faults. Commanders die in battle on secret missions meant in the defense of freedom (or expansionism) that result in posthumous combat medals (or historical accolades long after). From samurai to sportsmen, we regard warriors past as courageous having fought for honor n' glory. They are godlike because of emphasis on our own ordinariness & in putting them on pedestals, we aren't above knocking them off it. Alexander the Great, Lawrence of Arabia & Nelson Mandela (whether soldiers or statesmen) were contemporary men with extraordinary personalities capable of supreme feats in unusual circumstances. We portray our heroes as deity in martyrdom and messianic as enshrined by novelists, playwrights & painters but even supreme beings can be grounded in downplayed traditional nobility of domestic archetypes. NFL player Pat Tillman served as a US Ranger in Afghnistan & is remembered for his sacrifice in the line of duty (killed by friendly fire). CFL player Jeff Nicklin served as a paratrooper during WWII & was killed in action weeks away from surrender. Oddly, lionized more for not what they did but what happened to them which still shouldn't reduce their commitment thus lessening value. Culturally, the upliftment of those who've overcome adversity with unquenchable spirit allow for excessive/obsessive attitudes: seeing, touching, studying, weeping. Viewing the personal n' private has long been merciless thus the barrier is built & a seperation further re-inforced of superiority. Heroes aren't supposed to think too much of themselves & yet they are rife to embody infinite selfishness in the pursuit of splendor at the cost of peace, happiness & love. Achilles turned his back on his comrades with the rage of his actions shattering society, challenging the Gods & mocking death. Today's reaction is probably more awe than envy because of tragic falls that see divinity as infact vanity where magnificence to push limits rersults in the shamefull folly of hubris. Real bravery is a better substitute for perpetual megalomania. Julius Caesar & Napoleon were grandly intoxicant but driven to bold creation just as Leonardo Da Vinci or Michelangelo but in the centuries that have passed since their rule, it isn't difficult to see how unhealthy longing can produce the next tyrant. We need to be careful in our present day of producing miniature heroes out of old, dangerous elitist fantasies because when man becomes more than man on this foundation, we tame exceptional quality at risk to the diminishment of ourselves.

NOT WITH A BANG BUT A WHIMPER

accelerating change, computers, technology, the future, mankind, mobs, authority, inhumanity, societal breakdown, news, noise, abuse, torture, moral/ethical non-existence, wasteful spending, negativity, rivalry, anger, misunderstanding, misrepresentation, paranoia, hatred, confrontation, violence, conflict, war, defeat, loss of freedom, abandonment, rejection, homelessness, isolation, insecurity, egoism, dishonesty, nastiness, ignorance, ugliness, self-indulgence, pompousness, pretentiousness, cowardice, crime, police, imprisonment, darkness, knock on the door/phone call in the middle of the night, bad ideas, worst choices, horrible decisions, incapability of articulation, public speaking, questions, school, numbers, work, unemployment, failure, imposters, informers, foreigners, doctors, dentists, injections, hospitals, surgery, degenerating health, heart attacks, genetic inheritance, family, ageing, memory loss, dementia, obesity, impotence, losing control, boredom, the monotony of routine, nightmares, insomnia, paranormal/supernatural phenomena, terrorism, environmental/habitat destruction, nuclear apocalypse, armaggedon, vehicular accidents, flying, drowning, spiders, snakes, sharks, bears, politics, governments, religion, God, the Devil, hell, hurt, love, anxiety/stress, living, life, dying, death...

You're afraid of nothing, you say? Bullshit, fuckin' liar.

HOW CAN WE POSSIBLY LEARN TO STOP WORRYING AND LOVE THE CLONE?

Double life. click here

Reproductive cloning remains a dangerous proposition with no responsible govt wanting to allow humans near it. But it will happen. Hell, movies n' tv are already pushing the boundaries of inevitability. The bioethicists argue this new technology is the scapegoat for all that is seen as uncontrollable & unnecessary in science as human cloning is a focus for the worries about genetic determinism raised by the genome project & the long-standing fears of 'man-made' people. But how unnatural can this reality be when we accept that identical genes don't mean identical lives (as twins can tell us). It's not a matter of if but when as stem cell research continues to make huge leaps. Embryos are being created without egg n' sperm having to meet, units in laboratory structures allow for repetitive wide range type maturity & potential sources can repair damaged tissue in diabetes or Parkinson's with problems avoided from graft rejection. As the UN has struggled over the years to draft an international convention banning human cloning, the sharp divide remains from an all-out prohibition to a permission for experimentation. Many point to a belief that women will be exploited for their eggs but can't strong regulations on donation & surrogacy deal with the concerns instead of having to resort to complete forbidding? It's probably still too early to tell if cloning wil transform medicine for the better & while it already offers a valuable understanding to the process of 'reprogramming' biological organisms, the most compelling reason to steer clear of this slippery slope (for the moment at any rate) is scientific. 13yrs after the birth of Dolly the Scottish cloned sheep (who died in 2003), cloned animals still perish in high numbers at all stages of development. Ultimately, the risks for mother n' offspring do not yet outweigh the potential benefits for overcoming certain forms of infertility. Til then with positive results far exceeding any negative side effects, the outcry is loud - hands off humans.

SMALL PARTS ISOLATED & DESTROYED

A couple of weeks back Toronto unveiled a bid for the 2015 Pan-Am Games which met which enthusiastic praise from a visiting delegation overlooking the city. A few protest groups held some small rallies questioning whether the money to spend would be a wise use of public resources. They had a point but then again they'll protest anything Toronto puts forward. Expo 2015 has been a municipal election issue since 2006 & concerns involve whether the Federal govt will cover the debt. Competing bidder Peru asked Toronto to withdraw because Canada has hosted twice already (1967 & 1999, both in Winnipeg) & Lima's prestige could use a boost after the long civil war that ran from 1980-2000. In the past we've had our city shot down as athletic hosts --- in 1996 our elaborate n' much-hyped bid for the summer Olympics lost out to Atlanta, we withdrew a well-publicized bid for the 2004 Games as Athens was the overwhelming sentimental favourite to host with a return to Greece for the 1st time since 1896, a heavily praised but very expensive 2008 bid for the Olympics lost to Beijing, the 2009 IIHF world juniors hockey went to Ottawa and again, the 2012 IIHF saw Edmonton n' Calgary teaming up for Albertan victory. I think the real question about about our pride & civic esteem however is how much more rejection will Toronto sustain?

PANOPTICON (GEOGRAPHUS ALMANACUS)

FACE VALUE

Time n' again, what appears most often hidden from view is infact in plain sight. Take the concept of evil; its reputation for resilience is resounding. The idea of evil as a dark cosmic force has been rejected by some theologians but no matter how incompatible the notion seems with modern science, it just remains present. And it's impossible to remove it from religious discourse. Even metaphors of 'vanishing light' may be dismissed as knee-jerk moral relativism but the straight absolutes of right/wrong, good/bad (however blurred) can never be erased. If all evil operates under the virtue of unified command/purpose, is there a point in drawing fine distinctions? Can we figure out differences between irredeemability & conversion? Do we just oppose n' fight to the very end, bear any burdern & deal with aftermaths? From Machiavellist & Faustian intrigues, we're supposed to settle for nothing less in disputing with satanic malignancy and yet as humans who are supposed to respond rationally to clear incentives, we can't help but be subjected to seeds of original sin that skew to the core. This idea of evil as something at work in all of us makes for an interesting perspective: if this ingredient is but a mere grain we're all born with, why does it bear more fruit in some people than others? This analization into native environment, self scrutiny & warped personal/political/ideological agenda while not offering easy answers still makes for understandable indentifications lurking in our ambiguity. And as human frailty is inescapibly seduced by tempatation, with evil we can't help but to atleast conceivably play host when its traces are in view.

A DAY IN THE LIFE

Conspiracy files 1. click here
Conspiracy files 2. click here

Penn & Teller: Bullshit 1. click here
Penn & Teller: Bullshit 2. click here
Penn & Teller: Bullshit 3. click here

102 Minutes 1. click here
102 Minutes 2. click here

Loose Change 1. click here
Loose Change 2. click here
Loose Change 3. click here

9/11 is one of those events that changed everything in the world, but when the Asian tsunami of 12/26 claimed over a quarter million dead, why isn't this date seen as a tragedy of more profound importance? Are some lives more valuable than others? Maybe it has something to do with how we measure real security in the world balanced with equality. This development has to come through action so perhaps the difference is in our intentions. In our cosmopolitan surroundings we have the strange duality of how links in the chains of many cycles come full circle reflecting a looking glass world: the countries that guard peace also make n' sell the most weapons, the most prestigious banks launder the most drug money & provide haven for the most stolen cash, the most successful industries are the most poisonous for the planet where saving the environment is the brilliant endeavor of the very companies that profit from annihilating it and those who kill the most people in the shortest time win immunity & even praise as those who destroy the most nature n' wildlife at the lowest cost. It's hard to wrap our heads around what is meant as protection sometimes when absolute insurance doesn't exist. Security comes in lists - national, old age, financial, food, emotional, etc. The general sense being that we can never have enough of a good thing. But can we? Apparently we have to walk a tightrope between freedom & security so too much of one will take away from another. Does this then mean complete security could mean a complete lack of freedom? When it comes to mass death, devastation n' ruin, it's hard not to realize the disturbingly infact serious insecurity that pervades.

WASHINGTON TUBESTEAK ON THE BELTWAY BECAUSE MANIFEST DESTINY DOESN'T STOP FOR RED LIGHTS

Patriot day, Remembrance Day, Pearl Harbor day, Lincoln's birthday, Washington's birthday, President's day, Armed forces day, Memorial day, Flag day, Independence day... which is more: commemorative observance paying trubute to military sacrifice or the over-glorification of boastful national might? Preservation vs. pummeling. Does celebrative cheering & somber reflection 'lie' (rest or deceive) most with administrative state power or ambitions of being a new Imperialist Rome?

BEAUTY FARTS AND WISDOM LUSTS

I don't think I've ever calculated the number of times a day in which sometimes I've come across every other person & wished they never spoke. It certainly says something for the addage 'silence is golden'. But in just peering & getting a glimpse, is there such a thing as being a fake for telling the truth? Is realness inevitably phoney? Can something make no sense & yet be abundantly clear? One thing's for certain in life: we can't beat an encore, particularly on the brain masquerade that raises eyebrows when comprehending smarts. Whether the diagnosis of deviant depravity or fortune-telling discovery from egalitarian ephemera to Dr. Phil, the elimination of slacker degeneracy will not see eradication anytime soon. Everyone can look for an exception but it seems we are hooked on schizophrenic oxymoronica; mal/content in this addiction. The panoramic myriad of manna from heaven in more circles than few is just whitewash where sharp contrast appears to have us marching into jackass extinction on the horizon. Why? Fucked if I know so it's weird to think then that idiocy is a balancing factor cancelling out dull existence. The human capacity for ceaseless retarditity or retardity is both amazing & frightening at the same time. Boring will always be bothersome & the imagery of imbecility is a crushing blow in the long run but for all the people that need to speak up there are just as many more who'd do well to shut up.

SELF-PRESERVATION AND ZEN SUM

And beyond dormant multitudes & the dull drone of broadcasts, our lives fight trying for the model of free flow to resemble idealistic interaction. The genealogy of discord from tribe to civilization first stemmed from the shift of harmony & this new alchemy into threat (where the divide of coercion or co-operation wonders to which side we pledge loyalty), tries to rip us apart. The difficulty of maintaining personal determination in present systematic disorder is hard as discipline is under assault from chaos. The last holdout from inequality is sanctaury where spiritual-type prayer for utopia is the mode of just being; the manner to respond to conditions as a class of behaviour that acknowledges action in our hands, as opposed to useless rhetoric in place of procedure. Just us if no justice, contending with capital & property as our borders and examples of what our lives are decipher civic hedonistic needs through landscapes of deceptive false dichotomies. The fellowship of humanity should be to give without demanding in return but expectation exceeds all desire direct from community to institution. I want to reject vanguards of theorists whose assertations & aspirations come in waves and yet denial of authority is a veneration of their appraisals like that of any modern-day muse. The confusion n' crap rife in generalizations of fabricated identities now in contrast to demographics, result in inner faith crisis equilibrium upset by individual freedom turned into a paradigm of struggle. But I don't wanna provoke revolt with proverbial drumline because I believe in hopeful propositions instead of set/back positions. Spare me centralized philosophy & obligations in rebellion/revolt with the ironic paradox of flaying flags to express opposition to flags. And speaking of expression, existence creates momentum in the experience of experience itself creating wisdom. That entirety of belief is in all our hands. Above all, the equinox of all this compilation as hierarchal n' patriarchal order is not embraced as complete proof or definition, on the contrary - the eventual acceptance is to make & remake as subject for change because self-resolution is necessary for internal balance; because all it takes is one crack to crumble the whole foundation so stand up solid, defy decay & be counted. Here endeth the lesson.

NEVER TRUST A SUICIDE NOTE THAT ISN'T HANDWRITTEN

Whether it's the nobility of selflessness with bittersweet evocations of devotion abandonned for the greater good or convenial n' expedient friendship & gradual belonging, it seems infinite fleeting fame, fans, praise, popularity, wealth & the world at fingertips for some celebs is never enough. I hate the tempermental, primadonna, conceitedness especially from flash-in-the-pan washouts and the twats & papsmears that have to have a whole museum or mall or hotel floors to themselves & their leaching, useless waste-of-space entourages. And the spotlight is a strange one where greed & gluttony never satisfies demanding motherfuckers who care for nothing but attention. And ingredients in relationship to romance swimming through a swampy sewer of pigswill for the most part these days doesn't amount to a hill of beans anymore. For all the bad behaviour, star-status bragging of big-name friends, critically acclaimed films, gold albums, money n' jetsetting lifestyles, I think it's particularly funny & pathetic when these cheesedoodle hotshots can't handle fragile egos being bruised & professional deeds being ignored. Most notably from people who really don't give a shit & are not impressed by them. They can't stand that treatment of deliberate neglect. It goes against everything being a celebrity is about, especially these days when it comes to aspirations & expectations of success. Maybe such commonality is imperative to give way to proven worth & verity otherwise the existing negativity is a consuming disease - an impulse operating on denial which can't help but succumb to the fear of pessimism ruing everything. And yet, when that kind of dismissal or criticism is then internalized as a real thorn, somehow it seems like just desserts. Somehow love lampooned is a many surrendered thing as much as it is escapist rubbish. Please, I'm begging you fuckwads: leave the great Sam Cooke out of your sappy baggage. I can't buy your metaphor of 'hold my hand & I'll show you how much I love you': fuck that Hollywooden schmaltz. (No Oscars for this grouch). And the award for 'I wish you were dead' goes to...

HAPPY LABOUR DAY

BAT MEN & ROUND ROBINS (ATHLETIC LAMENT)

Time for a renaissance & return to basics to get collective houses in order. Fair play, standardized equipment & a straight-up ban on performance-enhancing drugs needs to be madatory. No more lip service & back-pedalling on suspensions. Let's make this clear & start the record books anew for an age of enlightment. Clean slate, blank sheet & a fresh start for belief in sport again. Fuck baseball asterisks that dishonor n' shatter hard won standards. Let's make allowances? Sorry Hank Aaron but even with your accomplishment to the game, you're wrong. Enough already & no more. yeah, the golden age of the amateur is gone but let's not allow sport to be hijacked by shady scientists who turn honest pursuit into seedy business venture. Instead of beating odds in proper competition, the thrill of victory & agony of defeat gives way to hustlers beefing up the bottom line. The consumer fans pay the price & sport deserves better than that. To rewrite is to understand what we love here in the first place. lasting champions perform befause they display more talent, have a greater desire/drive or stronger will to win. We need to forget about convoluted statistical recitations involving steroids or polyurethane body suits. Sport can use a revolution to be pured & cured. The time is overdue. Beginning helps to tell the real story.

And as for the proposal of golf in the Olympics? Hell no, I hope not. Sure, lots of people consider it great (with obsession to follow it & money to play it) & ok, it used to be in the Olympics way back when (just as polo, croquet & motor boat racing) but c'mon, it's an antiquated pastime & a re-entry in time for the 2016 Games is simply a cynical IOC cash grab to capitalize solely on the star power of Tiger Woods. Meanwhile women ski jumpers still struggle for recognition & gender equality on the international level, so it's hypocritical to say the least. The Games are about the pinnacle of achievement to reach an exalted state & with golf, it's the Masters or British Open that matter most on the world stage. This inclusion into the Olympiad shouldn't be a mere luxury to notch a feather in a Nike cap, no matter how great the performer.

SAINTS PRESERVE US

So why does Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger aka Pope Benedict XVI have so many detractors? Well, any uncompromising, old-fashioned conservative spiritual leader of the world's 1.1 billion Catholics is bound to draw criticism. Many consider this supposed incarnation of the Lord's word on earth the spiritual heir to the Inquisition zealots for his unbending dogmatic defense of doctrinal orthodoxy (it's not for nothing that for 30yrs his nickname has been 'God's rottweiler'). He's stitrred controversy for his brief fling in the Hitler youth, re-instated an ex-communicated Bishop who denied the holocaust, lashed out at the 'liberal wild excesses' of non-Latin mass (characterized further as a 'tragic breach of tradition') & expressed discomfort with current gay n' women's rights. Within both groups he cites so-called ethical evil thus rejecting the notion of human rights n' civil liberites and has blasted same-sex marriage, pre-marital sex & female clergy. His notorious stance against condoms & birth control (for what he calls 'technically unreliable & morally unacceptable') is not only stupid but criminal as it condemns the third world to death for its continuation of HIV infection. In his past, Pope Benny also helped to torpedo Liberation Theology which was an immensely popular Latin American movement urging Catholics to actively side with the poor's fight for justice. He muzzled outspoken priests calling their preaching gospel of land reform and an end to both corruption & death squads, Marxism which stirred up alarmist dissent that resulted in them being quashed. Being no fan of ecumenism either, he's also seen as a key force behind the right-wing, anti-immigrant drive for a Christian Europe and has irked Buddhists & Muslims alike. With accusations of the church in decline with increasing irrelevancy, here is a hardliner sadly out of step with the modern world.

And with the death of Pope John Paul II how should we measure Mr. Karol Józef Wojtyla's papacy? Did he succeed? If success means his maintenance of truth in the face of error, then God only knows. If success means the Christian assertion of truth against communist lies, then yes. If success means winning the argument against secular democracy in the west, then fuck no. Johnny was a Pope who oversaw an unprecedented collapse of the church in its Euro heartland, vocations for the clergy barely keeping up with the population in the developing world, simple breakdown in the west, Protestantism booming in South America and mass attendance in North America falling (along with donations) with the quality of the priesthood going from mediocre to terrible due to a string of unforgivable sex scandals that outright jeopardized credibility & respect. To judge this Pope a success by the calibre of those he inspired to follow him is a judgement (if not clear failure) still negative & damning.

UNTERNEHMEN FALL WEIß

70 years ago today 'ein Sturm brach lose'. If only Hitler wasn't a Viennese Academy failure & dropout but instead went on to pursue his art & architectural aspirations, how many countless millions would have been spared?



1



2

MICROCHIPPED FROM THE HARDWIRE SCRIPT

Total information awareness brought to you by big brother & coming soon to a neighborhood near you. Searchable databases gathering & storing watchlists. Closed circuit tv capturing everything on video in banks, police stations, govt buildings, airports, train stations, shopping malls & parking lots - we're urban all-starring on candid camera. Scanning, recognizing & adapting to biometrics to discover identity's limits. Fingerprints, retinas & voice patterns determining who or where we are. From radio frequency tags considered for implant in national ID cards, credit cards, passports & driver's licences, the post-9/11 fuel for security is in full swing. Harkening back to totalitarian days of carrying papers at all times, whole classes of people through social sorting has an eerie effectiveness. Private communication once breached by opening letters & wiretapping was in theory restricted to judicial oversight but now the scope to intercept & track via monitoring (spying) on email & websites has exploded. The PC is no longer personal & safety is not foolproof as privacy invaded is made publicly aware. Commercial/consumer preferences have interlocked with personal data from all over the globe. How many systems of linked satellite stations sifting for key words to ultimately fight/stop crime & terrorism are in danger of overload? Science has placed eyes in the sky. Geospatial intelligence involving remote-sensing secretive surveillance. The numerous activities of sensitive/potential targets anywhere on the planet are zoomed n' zeroed in on. Whether within the state or borders beyond, several schemes in their various versions aim to eliminate subversion & threats and follow everyday benign movements - all by controversial indexing. Such are these techniques the reality of globalization; logged & itemized as product in eminent domain where robotics
rule. Who says you can't teach an old dog new tricks?

SLAVE NEW WORLD?

Immigrants & migrant workers drive the growth engine more than people care to realize. How heavily do the rich (largely in the western world) rely on them for labour? Without them in the fields, significant sections of agriculture would collapse. Arriving from Mexico & the Caribbean, farms in Canada & the USA depend heavily on the legal (and illegal) seasonal work to harvest fruit n' veggies. The EU needs half a million foreigners for jobs locals don't want and parts of the agricultural/horticultural industries in Britain, Australia & New Zealand (earning $5 billion annually) would be near to full collapse if these people were restricted. In the home, female domestics from all over the world (the majority from the Phillipines - 6 to 8 million) leave children & families behind to care for others' kids abroad (so both parents can work) in order to send back money to feed their own. In the services (transport, education, construction, tourism, cleaning, healthcare, hotels, restaurants/cafes/bars) from Toronto, New York, London n' Dublin, migrants often & increasingly provide this very existence. Whether it's janitorial for schools n' office buildings, catering or driving a cab, the economies of dynamic bustling cities would be in serious trouble without them being employees as they actually contribute to averting disaster. And in the economy as a whole, many immigrants set up & run their own successful businesses thus creating employment & fuelling financial growth. This stimulation helps fill skill shortages but the profitable monetary rewards can be quite bitter: in contributing to national income tax & with personal investment, migrants in Britain & Australia pay more in taxes ($4.5 billion) than they consume in benefits & goods services. In North America they pay $11 million in employment insurance - which they are ineligible to receive themselves. In oil-rich Saudi Arabia the departure of foreign labour would spell chaos as this would constitute the majority of the workforce. Christ, who don't the rich have over a barrel? And as for the ignorant assholes too quick to yell "go back to where you came from"? The irony is that the same maligned individuals with their diversity n' variety oddly enough sustain the advantages of the hating morons who (in many cases with THEIR limited education & THEIR less than half work ethic) are always still better off in their regular circumstances (fuck off, wake up & grab a clue already, you idiots). The imbeciles may vary but the only uniqueness is in how pure fortunate luck then stupidity takes privilege for granted.

HEAVY METAL CARES MORE ABOUT THE ENVIRONMENT THAN WE DO

Nuclear Assault. click here
Nuclear Assault. click here

Sacrifice. click here

Kreator. click here

Testament. click here

Living Colour. click here

Excel. click here

D.R.I. click here

Metallica. click here

Soundgarden. click here

Sepultura. click here
Sepultura. click here

GARGOYLE ON THE MOUNT (NO CRYING OVER SPILT MILK)

Seeing that PAGES bookstore is set to close its doors after 30yrs, I was reminded of the most memorable experience I had in an off the beaten track used-rare bookstore. It was years ago somewhere up in Mississauga during my halcion college days. I wandered into one just browsing killing time (I wish I could remember the name). The layout of the place was bad: long musty-smelling corridors with books piled top to bottom on both sides & hidden behind those books, more rows of books. It looked like the kinda place that would rarely have many customers which maybe is kinda good seeing as there was just a shoulders length of space to move to pass by someone.

I think the Brylcreem oldtimer running the store had Alzheimer's. Either that or was beginning to suffer from cabin fever. At one point he made conversation & insisted in helping track down an obscure title I mentioned briefly. I didn't even want the book that bad but he seemed happy to take down the details. He agreed to order it. I agreed to come back. Sure enough, when I did as promised, he was clueless of me having been in before. And it was he who had picked this return visit figuring to by then have made positive progress & been successful(!) Very confused now, he said maybe I should have phoned first & then looked on the brink of despair. He cheered up suddenly by making jokes that only such proprietor's could make (about fictional characters & literary passages that bring back recollected memories that go over your head only affirming that back in the real world, schizophrenia is alive n' well). So here I am, having now backed away slowly to look at some books so as not to have made this re-appearance atleast not a complete wasted journey & I notice an Elmer Batters & Roy Stuart spine of titles (my luck of course that they're at the bottom of a pile) and as the books are laid flat this meant that a couple of dozen others in their tower formation were weighing them down. Very gently I eased the spines pulling them out delicately when Metamucil Gramps comes sluggishly tottering over babbling bizarrely. He wasn't happy with my easing & began to tell someone else so - inspite of no else but us 2 in the place. Oooooooh, I get it. I'm was the 3rd party in his disgruntlement -- disapproving remarks aimed AT me but not TO me. According to him it seemed I had a lot of nerve n' no respect or consideration for books (these inanimate objects have feelings??) Jeez, the carelessness of people like me being obstructive huh? Gotta hand it to Pops for if there was anything remotely/recently understandable in his swiss cheese mind, it was him gearing up on the finer points of condescending sarcasm.

He took over the retrieval operation by lifting piles of books from the top & placing them onto other columns (making those higher). Hardly an astonishment then that without warning the tilting/leaning columns promptly came crashing down with volumes of books on top of each other spilling all over the floor - this MUST have been a regular oocurence with this store's dumb set up. I can't see how it couldn't be. It was quite a sight & reminded me of movies where you see someone in slapstick mode knock over a huge dispaly of Raisin Bran or motor oil. Surveying the mess, he had a look on his face as if to say 'Good God!' I apologized profusely & was careful not to laugh (I'm sure there were pages somewhere in the pile of rubble of smiling face pictures already doing it for me). I really was gonna help him clean up as a gesture in the very least of alleviating anger & to generate some goodwill but my attempt was thwarted in his natural understandable grumbling. I wasn't prepared for his caustic rudeness. Even if this unfortunate accident (from his physical actions, mind you) was my fault, calling me a 'damn silly idiot' proved to be a big mistake for Mr. Polident-meet-Clam Chowder. Then he snapped 'Enough!' as I tried to make some vestige of clearance. Yeah... 1st, I'm not in your way & 2nd, damage is already done so way to keep up with events (observation not being one of your strengths? try gingko biloba). Didn't his stupid statement in a manner defeat the purpose of people coming in if the inevitability & end result of books crashing down into a mess are certainties? Maybe the layout of the place would've been best served & should've remained in exotic districts of Cairo or Istanbul. It should've been me saying to him 'I'm sorry but for fuck sakes invest in some bookshelves, racks & stands, you jittery old fool'. So fine, Gramps, you wanna be crusty? I was outta there. As I began my departure I saw him take off his glasses from which he bulged his eyes out of his head with jaw dropping to hit the ground (yep, looks like you really are on your own with this one). Walking down the corridor towards the door, I could sense his stare burning into my back; him speechless in utter disbelief that with the place in a right state, I was abandonning ship leaving him alone to sort out the chaos.

Days later back home, I made it a mission to send in a friend to visit the bookstore. I warned her about his weird etiquette & the claustrophobic narrowness and that I'm convinced that many of these book-people types are quite crazy. She was up for the challenge. I wanted to know if the oldguy would start on about how there was an inconsiderate young man who came in not too long ago, messed up his books & without a second thought just left everything looking like a warzone. Or if he'd even remeber at all. Hahahaha, glad to say he didn't disappoint her. He confirmed everything. At eccentric length.

IMMORAL MAJORITY

And what ideas are older if fewer than religious intolerance? Hindus against Sikhs. Anti-Semitism's frightening rise in Europe. Radical Islam's increase in the Muslim world. France's reluctance to tolerate symbolic headwear. Collaboration by police & public officals equating prominently in the fear of terrorism. On n' on, the bred expression of hatred fuelling insecurity thus permitting aggression as legit self-defense. Any how easy to foster disrespect: where ones's religion is the only truth to deem the other's false & incorrect. Committed belief allowed so long as no harm says the state. Or privacy practicing coercion to force minorities to adopt (instead of patience to adapt?) so as not to threaten the liberal view of equality. Conformity is the 1st step out of the cradle. From our start, we begin helpless from food to love but the importance of life helps in our later coping with loss & death; motivation to follow principles as family or community is a vehicle from this flight whcih can manifest in oppression of the imposition of hierarchy. Witness the acceleration of ethnic confrontation & the surrounding of the like-minded to subordinate those who don't/won't accept. Can't means trouble. Fundamental emotion too powerful to submit to weak legal or constitutional norms that both in turn try to withstand from the implemntation of cultural reinforcements. Rhetoric (just as in poetry, music or art) can support pluralism & toleration as much as it can undermine by neglecting the public cultivation of ethics & even imagination. The risk is to suffer the peril of ignorance from scruples which seem sadly in short & depleting supply leaving equality vulnerable.

And how easy to forget that for centuries we had a choice in religious worship. The passgae of time bringing new temples now means a mosque built around the corner, the Dalai Lama on tv again & heretic headbanging misguided metalheads setting houses of the holy ablaze. Spiritual chatrooms currently cater to cafeteria Catholics amidst traditional pick n' choose buffet platters for Mormons, Buddhists & Baptists alike to also find feast. But isn't the overall ecumenical environment crumbling fast as consumer choice & local controls storm the realm? Isn't the decentralization of faith flooding fast under leaders more bent on cajoling, persuading & competing where once they could instruct, command & expel? Protestant Christians suspicious of bureacracy running affairs. Methodist & Lutheran congregations ignoring denominational brand loyalty as dated. Pentacostalism's rivalries & divisions generating entrepreneurail energy to the dismay of many Pastors. The Anglican communion seeking resolution in the schism over the ordination of gay & female bishops. All of this straining against the old order, oddly enough is punishment on the parish with its battles of succession & doctrine. Where breakdowns even in the fanatical extremes from the Taliban to Al Qaeda conflict from too many loud voices all presuming to claim authority. Liberation is a salvage operation enlisting leanings with tendencies to lie in rebellion n' revolution. Hungry competitors market as much as minister. So what of the integrity of religious product? Whether the 10 Commandments or Sermon on the Mount or pilgrimages to Mecca or the Wailing Wall in Jerusalem - the capacity to challenge secularism passed down from above can strengthen but also lead to fragmentation due to lack (amazingly enough) of thriving endurance that worshippers feel is forever firmly in place.

GENERATION LANDSLIDE

- Britions drink a quarter more alcohol than they did 10yrs ago

- Alcohol & drugs are responsible for Scotland's murder rate being the 2nd highest in western Europe. The Scottish suicide rate is almost double that of England

- Only 26% of Pakistanis & Bangladeshis in the UK are fluent in English compared to 68% in the USA

- A boy born in Russia presently has a lower life expectancy than one born in Bangladesh

- There are more burglaries per capita in Canada than in the USA

- 1 in every 3400 Americans is an Elvis impersonator. America's prison population is higher than China's

- More houses in China have a dvd player than running hot & cold water. There are more people named 'Chang' in China than the total population of Germany

- From the 1920's until 1997, surnames in Mongolia were illegal. Today 10,000 people still only have 1 name

- More Ethiopian doctors are practicing in Chicago than in Ethiopia. For that matter there are more African scientists & engineers working in America than in the whole of Africa

- 96% of Jamaicans with an advanced education emigrate

- Australia is the only Brit & EU commonwealth govt not to have protested against Guantanamo Bay. Per capita Australia emits 30% more greenhouse gasses than the USA

- Poor regions from France receive more money from the EU than poor regions in Poland. Not a single enterprise founded in France in the past 40yrs has managed to break into the ranks of the 25 biggest French companies compared to 19 of the 25 largest American companies not even having existed 4 deaceds ago

- Up until March 2005, Mein Kampf was 2nd on the Turkish bestseller lists. Women had the vote in Turkey before France, Italy, Switzerland & Belgium

- Forget Mexico, Belgium's water quality is the worst in the world

- All 8 members of the Qatari weightlifting team at the 2000 Olympics were originally Bulgarian

- Before their recent defeat, the secular Tamil Tigers of Sri Lanka were responsible for 2 thirds more suicide bombings than any other terrorist group in the world

PLEASE LET IT STAY LIKE THIS

90's screamo was insane. Frenzied & frantic, it roared through ferociously & burned harshly in its short reactionary existence. And while arguably the 1st underground wave didn't exactly die a rapid dignified death and was too easily criticized & scoffed at for not being considered an outlasting form, it's still MILES ahead of 99% of today's bandwagon-jumping/mainstream trendy-fad-cool groups termed (mislabeled?) that style/genre. Hands down, AF4 were one of the absolute very best & so many of the current so-called 'core' bands still don't even come close to holding a candle to them.

KILL THE WORDS (101 TO 451)

There goes the neighborhood. click here

Behind the crooked cross. click here

I don't agree with banning books from high schools. If complaining parents have problems with novels, going all full-on censorship mode is never the solution. How about negotiation & compromise that satisfies both parties instead of a threatening settlement that only appeals & benefits one side? Hell, you never see these same individuals going after libraries. Better to replace the book/s in question with suggestions of different titles more relevant in relation to the theme or content. But outright removal from the curriculum? Absolutely not. Setting a precent to stamp out what is considered harmful or dangerous may seem a noble protective measure but will only result in subversion anyway. Preventative? Never fully. Exposure itself doesn't disappear completely. Best to remain on reference as either a worthy reminder of still redeeming qualities or a case study of conteoversial subject matter that serves the important need to be studied; both angles of which help personally to understand ideas in society - good or bad.

SOPHISTICATION WITH A TWIST

Gotta love the classics!

SIXTEEN BIT FINGERPRINT (AND ALL THAT JAZZ)

Where everything lay before, the future is going to be
Theme is the statement
Territory is the adventure
Threshold is formed by chord key signature
Zenith far beyond limits, removing all barriers
Life's harmonic contour improvised melodically
The individual action becomes the peak ensemble movement
Destiny for coda & epiphany is abstraction
Time has no placement
Space, no structure
Notion, no reason
Ratio is establishment embodied by sequence
Life's rhythmic outline compromised violently
Figure & shape both cryptic in moment to moment
Vision surpassing all expectations has become hope
The eventual end return to repeat - a visit hopefully not in regret

THE FILTURD IMPURITY OF SHIT FROM SHINOLA

(with thanks and apologies to PROSPECT magazine)



In the past, artists created art from life whereas nowadays the most interesting ones create life from art. For centuries we have relied on the definition of art as a useless object worth contemplating. We were told artists stood aloof from society & the market as they could deal in ideas with no use-value (hence presentations in galleries). But now we are accustomed to independent self-exploitation from the market claiming to make art that is useful - called 'parallel structures' which are alternative ways of organising the world, developed free from the pressures of global capital. It sounds like donkeytwoddle as so many of today’s artists produce slavishly for the luxury market as their entry into the worlds of design & architecture are yet just more shameless money strategies devised to diversify their brand & maintain their position as the highest of cultural producers. Still, it has created some interesting, if queasy, art. One of the artists involved in this new utopian activity is the ironic Belgian Wim Delvoye. He has created realistic-looking palatial marble floors out of triangles of salami, has tattooed pigs in China & has made a series of x-rays of people having sex. But his crowning masterpiece is Cloaca, a machine which imitates the human digestive system where you put food in one end to get chewed up & piped through two gently rotating washing machines full of bacteria then heated a little. Guess what comes out the pipe at the bottom? Yes. Shit. Real shit. Samples from the machine that have been tested at a Univ. microbiology department have found the reproductions to be alarmingly similar to what humans excrete. Cloaca has been exhibited in museums all over the world with Delvoye's freeze-dried the crap from the machine, packed in a clear plastic box, signed, dated & sold as a limited edition for $2000 a pop(!) (or should that be 'poop'?) He now has a factory full of machines machines churning out shit 24 hours a day & sells shares in his business enterprise which thanks to the intellectual & economic trends in the contemporary art market, are proving to be very profitable. So is Delvoye saying art is shit - or that shit is art? He's a 21st century artist/trickster who knows the recipe for society & culture but puts the ingredients together in a reassembled order thus to create a different order. He understands that real entrepreurial device that creates & explores the notion of taste is full of contradiction in the critique of consumerism which further mocks status-enhancement.

TO BUILD A BETTER MOUSETRAP

Microsoft just got hammerded in court for violating a patent & having to pay a whopping $293 million in damages to Toronto-based tech company i4i. The dispute was over the way encoding & dispalying of information is processed in WORD electronic documents. It's not the 1st time Microsoft has run into this trouble: in 2003 they had to dish out $521 million to a web tech co. & Univ. of Cali for a similar infringement and later had to pay $750 million to AOL Time Warner to settle a lawsuit. So there's something very gratifying about a company with a worldwide employee base of 95,000 being taken down a peg by a literally unheard of Canadian outfit with a total staff numbering about 30. But there's something troubling here as Microsoft was essentially fined for selling a product including a file format which they themselves invented. Should they really be penalized for what is using a standard in the industry? On the one hand, I can understand the whole 'Microsuck' mentality because they use bullying tactics of superiority & professional intimidation against competition. But is it fair when a highly questionable legal ruling outweighs the positivity that has come from company achievement to benefit everyday computer usage when practically everyone wants to improve operating systems?

Supposedly Microsoft is still trying to compete with Google by attempting to offer a better search engine. Good luck. Whether it gets off the ground & truly takes off remains to be seen. Google's networth is in the 12 figures. It's ads alone being the foundation of the company's fortune. There's hardly a movie or tv show that goes by without a character googling directions, pulling up a map or clicking on pictures; just another inclusion of everyday quick n' simple, identifiable functioning convenience crossing over into pop culture. Microsoft has previously attempted to buyout Google but their offers where emphatically turned down. Are we going to see the same-old Microsuck attitude then of arrogant anti-trust corporate titan with the endless reserve of money? Typically flouting conventional rules of the biz where being the monopoly is seemingly still not enough. Google may not be an infallible saint either but in the war against both, it appears as if winning is proving to be far more painful to just be able to claim 'customer appreciation'.

MANY ARE CALLED BUT FEW ARE CHOSEN

Beware the beast Man, for he is the Devil's pawn. Alone among God's primates, he kills for sport or lust or greed. Yea, he will murder his brother to possess his brother's land. Let him not breed in great numbers, for he will make a desert of his home and yours. Shun him; drive him back into his jungle lair, for he is the harbinger of death.
- CORNELIUS, PLANET OF THE APES

A hideous ecstasy of fear and vindictiveness, a desire to kill, to torture, to smash faces in with a sledge hammer, seemed to flow through the whole group of people like an electric current, turning one even against one’s will into a grimacing, screaming lunatic. And yet the rage that one felt was an abstract, undirected emotion which could be switched from one object to another like the flame of a blowlamp...
If you want a picture of the future, imagine a boot stamping on a human face - forever...
- GEORGE ORWELL, 1984

I am leaving soon, and you will forgive me if I speak bluntly. The universe grows smaller every day, and the threat of aggression by any group, anywhere, can no longer be tolerated. There must be security for all, or no one is secure. Now, this does not mean giving up any freedom, except the freedom to act irresponsibly. Your ancestors knew this when they made laws to govern themselves and hired policemen to enforce them. We, of the other planets, have long accepted this principle. We have an organization for the mutual protection of all planets and for the complete elimination of aggression. The test of any such higher authority is, of course, the police force that supports it. For our policemen, we created a race of robots. Their function is to patrol the planets in spaceships like this one and preserve the peace. In matters of aggression, we have given them absolute power over us. This power cannot be revoked. At the first sign of violence, they act automatically against the aggressor. The penalty for provoking their action is too terrible to risk. The result is, we live in peace, without arms or armies, secure in the knowledge that we are free from aggression and war. Free to pursue more... profitable enterprises. Now, we do not pretend to have achieved perfection, but we do have a system, and it works. I came here to give you these facts. It is no concern of ours how you run your own planet, but if you threaten to extend your violence, this Earth of yours will be reduced to a burned-out cinder. Your choice is simple: join us and live in peace, or pursue your present course and face obliteration. We shall be waiting for your answer. The decision rests with you.
- KLAATU, THE DAY THE EARTH STOOD STILL

KNOCKED OUT BY THE TWIN MOUNDS

Need help in voting for a worthy candidate? Having trouble keeping a relationship that's void of some domestic finesse, together? Fear not, it's big tits to the rescue. Uncertainty & insecurity no more (ha! so you think) as you've long been perfectly distracted n' conditioned by boobs to believe atleast everything else will be alright. Hooray for the breast express! Because as undeniably wonderful as they are, we too are its bouncing instruments.

G.I. JOKE OR JUNK, KNOWING IS HALF THE BATTLE

When there's no limit on re-imagining, re-interpreting, re-branding then re-juvenating an original cartoon franchise, the liberties and straying away from the comic formula is bound to elicit griping from the core base of fanboys who'll find problems in anything n' everything. I saw the movie and was pleased that it wasn't anywhere near as bad as I was expecting. 25yrs later, to turn the well-remembered animation into a live-action feature film is naturally gonna deal with contemporary modernizations to represent & reflect current realities particulary in a post-9/11 landscape (both science n' technology's advancement & abuse; global political concerns n' troubles; social order; race relations; the fear, paranoia & threat of unchecked, rampaging terrorism; military mercenaries) but human nature here also delves into some character histories through flashback - some interestingly good (Destro n' Storm Shadow), sketchy (Cobra Commander) & the remaining just lame (Duke & Baroness on the sharing of love, loss, abandonment, revenge, reconciliation, redemption). Aside from a cheap & needless Transformers-type incorporation involving a chase scene, in all not a bad flick really but the only worry to the overall name will come from sequels (Zartan?) & the introduction of newer individuals which could muddy the waters. Tamporing with classics can never quite be left alone entirely once the ball is rolling.

WHIRLPOOL OF ABYSS IN THE CENTER OF THE BIG BLUE MARBLE

Bad news bar none: Mass migrant hordes streaming into countries linked to violent crime, drugs & illegal arms. Running rampant & scamming welfare. Law breakers doing end-runs around the courts and scumbags twisting & escaping the justice system (thank you, lawyers). Financial initiative utilizing funds where only smaller percentages benefit the public fewer n' less as the economy dwindles. Natural resources & global warming the focus of the green left but still unanswerable are the oil & auto industries. The gap between wealth n' poverty unchecked & allowed to widen with administrative breaks for select some & no relief for dismissed others. Always pre-emergency federal disorganization after disasters & national calamity. Threat assessments on the fruitloop color wheel spinning the dial to dictate the suspension of civil rights as necessary for security. The more real & imminent of danger, the more the removal of privilege and the more the push for incarceration everywhere. War between citizen vs. govt seeing engulfing foreign entanglements as crusades either against terrorists or despots, ultimately fostering further frustration on the homefront. Families are in turmoil with bad parenting, ill-discipline & dysfunction contributing to the collapse of household n' home. Morality squads controlling/enforcing zero-tolernace policy by interfering with individual preference n' choice through legislation to stifle personal liberties. Online excursions run parallel to technological manipulation & electronic subversion heightening the risk n' fear of identity theft & disemination of information from anonymous hate to instructions for dirty bombs & poisons. Schools & hospitals suffering as social programs operate on outdated models of decay resulting in archaic institutions handed over to the private sector. Free speech & censorship clouded by newspaper columns & editorial cartoons sparking furious religious debate, enough to fan the outraged flames of boycott & riot as if authoritites didn't already have their hands full trying to quell bedlam in the streets. And then there's 'choice'. Whether gender/sexual politics or election decisions for the next new leader ... Fuck all the doublespeak spindoctors n' thinktanks slanting sides & skewering visions with endless polls. No wonder the world is is up its own ass. Sometimes it all plays as a mishmash under daily warped headlines. Sometimes we need to retreat. Sometimes all I wanna do is reach for the remote.

ASHTRAYS & TRACHEOTOMIES

(with thanks and apologies to DISCOVER magazine)



20 THINGS YOU DIDN'T KNOW ABOUT THE SURGEON GENERAL

1. In 1871, the Surgeon General post was created as the top officer in the Marine Hospital Service, a quasi-military organization meant to battle diseases spread by merchant sailors.

2. The 1st SG was John Maynard Woodworth, who created a mobile body of physicians, the Commissioned Corps. Today it remains 1 of only 7 uniformed services of the US govt. (No, the post office doesn’t count.)

3. Before 1977, all SG's served in the Commissioned Corps. Today the only requirement is that they agree with everything the President says.

4. The 2nd SG, John B. Hamilton, really was a surgery professor. Rather than relocate to San Francisco with the Marine Hospital Service, he resigned in 1896 to run the Illinois State Insane Hospital, where he died 2yrs later.

5. The Surgeon General is nominated by the U.S. President & confirmed via majority vote by the Senate. He serves a 4yr term of office & is the highest ranking uniformed officer of the PHSCC, holding the grade of a 3-star Vice Admiral while in office. However, the SG reports to the United States Assistant Secretary for Health, who himself may hold the rank of a 4-star Admiral within the Public Health Service Commissioned Corps. The acting Surgeon General is Rear Admiral Steven K. Galson, M.D., M.P.H.

6. During World War I, under SG Rupert Blue, cigarettes were issued as part of each fighting man’s basic field rations kit.

7. In 1964, SG Luther Terry published a report that nailed cigarette smoking as a cause of cancer, triggering the Cigarette Labeling and Advertising Act. This sent the tobacco lobby into a frenzy of denial, bribery & intimidation that continues to this day.

8. Antonia Novello, under George H.W. Bush, was a harsh critic of Big Tobacco. Her brother-in-law, Don Novello, played the chain-smoking Priest, Father Guido Sarducci, on 'Saturday Night Live'.

9. Surgeon General Hugh Cumming is remembered for the notorious Tuskegee Syphilis Experiment, begun under his watch in 1930 to study the effects of untreated syphilis in African-American men. The program continued under 6 successive SG's, being declared unethical only in 1973. The study proved that it’s unhealthy to leave syphilis untreated.

10. In 1981, Ronald Reagan’s ultraconservative SG, C. Everett Koop, brought the traditional full military regalia back to the office. But he was no dandy as his famous uniform was made of polyester.

11. Koop penned a brochure explaining the risks of AIDS—writing frankly about sexuality—and had it mailed to every household in the United States. It was the 1st government mass mailing of its kind. He took a lot of flak for it.

12. He also performed a cameo in The Exorcist III.

13. Today the 90-year-old Koop is a pitchman for 'Life Alert', the emergency medical response service with the catchphrase, “I’ve fallen & I can’t get up!”

14. Joycelyn Elders was the 1st black SG. Like Koop, she advocated frank sex education in schools. Unlike Koop, she did not survive the flak; she was gone within 14 months, the shortest tenure of any SG.

15. She was forced to resign because, when asked about masturbation at a U.N. conference on AIDS, she responded in a positive way. There are no existing audio or videotapes of her response; the exact words that led to her firing remain unknown.

16. Under George W. Bush, SG Richard H. Carmona said officials asked him to censor his reporting on embryonic stem cell research, contraception & the unrealistic proposition of abstinence-only sex education. He was also instructed to mention the President 3 times per page in every speech he gave.

17. Carmona, a high school dropout, earned his GED in the Army, was a decorated Vietnam Special Forces combat veteran & then won the “Gold-Headed Cane Award” as top graduate at the University of California Medical School. He also served as a paramedic and a nurse.

18. Resistance to Bush’s nomination of James W. Holsinger as 18th SG comes partly from his purported anti-gay bias. In a paper he wrote for the United Methodist Church in 1991—which some say is light on science & heavy on dogma—Holsinger declared that male homosexuality is unnatural & unhealthy, sparking angry backlash.

19. On the bright side, PETA likes him: Acting SG Robert A. Whitney, who served in the interim between Novello & Elders, was a veterinarian.

20. The Surgeon General’s position has been vacant on many occasions. The longest vacancy was 4yrs. During those times, the health infrastructure of the United States collapsed big time.

FUROR OVER FUHRERS IN THE CHATROOMS

It was a clever attorney who drew up the observance that the longer an online discussion develops, the more likely it is that someone will compare somebody else to a Nazi or Hitler. Hardly surprising that blogofascism makes people nuts (just look at comment threads on youtube). But getting upset has its tendency to leave people in too much of an infantile state for hotheaded invective. Reckless playground-like bullying that polarizes in a strange manner, trying to sustain who we are by what we hate. Instead of persuading the adversary (which isn't necessarily to have them join your side) we're pushing a more stigmatizing rhetoric that while it tries to solicit like-minded approval, the expression of proving a point somehow never amounts to fighting the good fight when the argument is reduced to nothing other than dissing & inane meandering. What could be serious reflection is just deliberate shit-stirring to push buttons so smug sentiment & rage just ends up being futile. It works all the more when you consider uptight antagonists are always braver wearing masks of anonymity & if it's a self-revealing introduction, provocation always points to rightwing rumbling said elsewhere first. The status quo has long become a dumping ground for extremist fantasy, idiotic n' ignorant cowardly herding. No need for eloquence or people power. People scream because they can't focus.

MESSAGE IN A BOTTLE (THE SOFT DRINK THAT LACKS FIZZ & FURTHER EXACERBATED HARD LUCK)

What happened to the days when it seemed there was always some angry demonstration against Coca Cola by activists incredibly pissed at seeing them set up shop wherever in the world? Not to say there aren't any existing vehement protests anymore but they definitely seemed to have dropped off drastically. The Plachimada village in India was a perfect case of Western rage & infuriation: Coke came here in 1993 & opened a bottling plant after getting permission from the reform-minded local council (installed by American assistance after the democratically elected Commie one was booted). Here was a territory with a severe water crisis, daily growing shortages & people so poor that the only employment was wage labor usually lasting no more than 100-120 days in the year. And here were state & central authorities falling over themselves to hand over assets to a multinational in the name of economic prosperity. Because of the site chosen by Coke near 2 large reservoirs & an irrigation canal, within 6 months the villagers' well water had gotten so awful & tainted it was causing diarrhea, dizziness, burning skin rashes, leaving hair greasy n' sticky and leaving cooked rice hard. The locals being very low in caste status eventually began peaceful agitations that shut down the plant & revealed that Coke was stealing the precious drinking water - the only thing the company 'gave back' was a foul syrupy toxic sludge from the plant's filtering processes. Coke told the locals that infact the waste was good for them(!) emptying it in surrounding fields & on the banks of the irrigation as free fertilizer(!) with the stink being so bad it caused sickness, more rashes, infections & killed agricultural produce. Lab analysis found that the sludge contained serious poisoning levels of cadmium & lead and still Coke swore it was "absolutely safe" & "good for crops". The struggle against Coca Cola in Plachimada has resulted in over 7yrs of plight whose anti-stance has seen Coke prodcuts banned in the newspaper with the loss of heavy revenue, a nearby Pepsi plant producing the same problems, farmers committing suicide because of acute drought which accumulates unbearable debt & the pro-Coke govt (angered over the profit-stoppage) taking their case to re-open the plant to the Supreme Court. All of this plays out like some perverse reference that would work well on 'The Simpsons'; the ghastly sinister symmetry of dismissive destruction unleashed on inhabitants where only the rodents benefit. Ethically n' morally out of order with no accountability for destroying livelihood & community. Makes me wish someone would finally n' successfully steal the secret red n' white formula & leak it to all the cola competitors (but not if it's gonna ensure a thousand more Plachimadas as just one from example is too much).

VITAL SIGNS IN POTEMKINGDOM

Sometimes you gotta wonder what we're comfortbaly better off not knowing because the permanent stain of true colors is always 'discovery' & reconciliation meant to restore is never easy. Flouting character (unique n' oblique) when fate has already been sealed means the audience for disposition isn't always alienated as claustrophobic interdependence is addictive dragon-chasing in its own right. If memory has served me correctly in the past tense of parallel & ability to identify for yearning (let alone understand loathing), cashing in on calculated nastiness by deadpan proxy has us exploring cliches & delving into aloof absences of unresolved reason; a mileage mirrored in mystery. I wonder if in this mental inquisition (salvation n' redemption notwithstanding), whether I'm cut from the same cloth that I'd just as soon rip to shreds. Psychotic breaks & mantra repetition epitomize the great universe where emphatic disaffection is like that from great literary quotes; of main event themes toned down or charged up where lofty grievance socially purges conformity & indoctrination. Enthusiastic exuberance deflates then betrays by hammering home protracted magnitudes of risk. We see flaw n' contradiction always residing in greatness so perhaps genius is only calculated by how long the unpleasantness of real truth remains hidden. To live the kind of life we'd rather is Beethoven vs. Mozart - harder ideologically at the expense of comfort in opposition; a kind of authentic semi-conductor prohibiting the establishment of easy example. From Alfred to Akira, such is pondering & pandering the homage of human condition critical. But one thing's for damn sure, proudness is to say I won't be raising any white flags so long as I can help it.

The pathos of coming of age in the post-millenial milieu is not so easy when faced with passive-aggressive conventional wisdoms. Gloom n' doom en masse with hopelessness & despair. Hell, I'm not even Irish but still young to be a veteran of misery while old enough to understand the ways learned of a heritage born from hardship. But fuck complacency for as the future can't be stopped, passing moods don't have to dwell on permanent perspectives of total failure. The exi-stend on boredom's borders taunting nihilism for downer intell-actual's serious resemblance promotes hopelessness. The power to believe still exists in a brighter tomorrow. Dissect random madness, assert definace & co-exist amongst that which is troubling. In making change, futility itself is capable of deterioration as quirks from best intentions can compel harshness - how lumped into low impact is often born of accident instead of aesthetic. Devour, drown or ascend with abstract integrity choking on the heavy yoke of compromise. Pride is forever but the odyssey of ego is a profile of conduct unbecoming where just a hint can breach respect & if nothing else, the cloud over duality circulates around the straightforward becoming haphazard. Maybe to understand meaninglessness is to attain award of higher freedom to impose ultimate meaning - where simple embeds quintessential. Sick of it all in this revolvus reversus of resources making both marginal & major decisions. But above all stop feeling sorry for yourself & forget pity. It's what you do with the time while you have it that matters most. Death NOT suicide!

SOMETHING'S GOTTA GIVE

Anticipation and expectation and desire and hope. Whether it's worsening weather or maladroit music - it's all about change and even the nature of change, changes. New throngs bring new idiots. Seeking virtue in vice as drugs dull & horny libido is loco. Heightened fragments of strange language & the inhibition of remnants defer to being on the move thus quickening the pace. Out in the cold & where to go? Opposite ends are constants; considering comparisons either obvious or obscure. Faster to feel & slower to sense as alcohol holds the brain hostage & sex cuts your throat. Struggle is eternal & change is now challenge. And disillusion is always in abundance like shrouding patchwork cloaking the need for pattern. Dedication to development as immobility is the killer. Set off, search, hotspot, home. The world on a slow axis yet turning rapidly because of change. Individual color can suffer the disruption of its new host as contamination for better or worse. Navigating the negativity of substitute becoming replacement. If only more visibly outside sources weren't so predictable because boring is bothersome & the imagery of imbecility is a crushing blow. The new trend n' fad for being an asshole is a scary thing. Trouble comes in 3's but whatever the pairing, the inevitability of bad luck is always an extravaganza. No need for 'I told you so'. The placement of having happened & the bearing of meaning. Or starting again from the ground up or deciding that difference is its own reward or accepting change as a growth in learning... Not so fast. One step at a time.

HOW DIALLED DIGITS DETERMINED THE DICTUM OF DIDACTIC DECORUM

For the 3rd time on Sunday afternoon in a space of 35min. the phone rang displaying 'unknown name, unknown number' & for the 3rd time I ignored. Fuck sakes, I'm trying to watch some Durham County here, stop trying to intrude & leave me in peace. When it rang a 4th time the caller was longer, intent with their ceaselessness. Whoever it is I'm not gonna be left alone. Hmm, Maybe I know this person & it's urgent. And if not let me be rid of the nuisance for good. I pick up. Crap, some stranger. A woman introducing herself on behalf of some youth activity group or whatever. Would I be interested in a function next Saturday at a nearby church? Sensing my instant reluctance, she told me there'd be plenty of nice people in attendance - and free drinks. Free drinks, I ask?

"Yes, there'll be soft drinks & fruit juice"

(Whooo! Golly gee, root beer & orange punch. How thrilling, Ms. one-helluva-wrong-number. And now I'm lost in the storyline on tv. Just for that it looks like I'm gonna have some fun at your expense, Madam. You'll be lucky if I don't get Lucius Tate or Jerky Boys on your ass)

Aha, your enticing beverages an obvious promo gimmick & ploy for some new goody2shoes club. Free admission, but no doubt there'll certainly be some older types there so how much for alcohol once inside?

"Oh no, there'll be no alcohol just simple refreshments"

No longer interested I asked what time on Saturday to attend.

"12 to 2"

Good. This would be my polite exit to bail; I won't be able to make it because there's no public transport for me at that time of night.

"No, no, 12 at lunch til 2 in the afternoon"

WHAT KIND OF NIGHTCLUB IS THIS? (laughing but careful enough not to make it sound too much like derision)

"It's not a nightclub (slightly stern in her voice) it's a social gathering for young people to get together, make some friends through dancing - nothing lewd - and discuss the bible"

(Alright, alright don't get snippy). And ultimately what is the aim of all this?

"Well we're interested in bright teens & early 20's to participate in non-profit Christian outreach and with the summer still left, to mentor at some spiritual retreats. No hanky panky"

Ah yes, camping with God in the great outdoors. Such a winning combo with no sex strictly enforced. What remains? Marshmallows, ghost stories around the campfire & conversion therapy? And some summer: 6 days of sunshine, the rest rain & already nearing the end of August. Why would anyone bother at this point?

Oh, so you're after a bigger flock to join... what?... like a cult?

"Oh gosh, heavens no. We're not a cult by any means. They're all about promiscuity, scamming money & stockpiling guns (laughter). We belong strictly to a church"

Um, so do many of them. (Wow I can't believe she actually said that. Script-read ignorance from the US bible belt or what?)

"Well so they claim" (laughter)

But they say the same things as you. I'm confused.

"Well not exactly. They recite the words from the good book but they twist the meanings so not really, no. We're not on the same page at all when it comes to their actions"

Time for me to go into a shpeel. I speak of the 'Edict of Worms' which was an order from a German Emporer in the 1500's which banned the ideas of Martin Luther. You see, Marty was a Protestant reformer whose main point said/was that the bible being the word of God meant people didn't need the church to worship God. So what would be the point of an assembled authority troupe pushing scripture in the woods? I think the woman on the phone was just floored. Inbetween her wary pauses of 'excuse me?' & 'I beg your pardon?' were mild trade-offs of me seeing her as casually presumptuous to her possibly seeing me as brainwashed by misinformation needing intervention. But back to the specific matter at hand...

Anyway, I'm Catholic (no I'm not)

"Super. Interfaith discussions play a big part in togetherness. If we preach anything through prayer it's understanding"

I'm sorry, I misunderstood from the get go. I can't dance. And I'm older than your age bracket.

"That's ok. We have people who can teach you. And you can always help in other voluntary capacities"

Are they Nuns?

"Um, no (sounding puzzled) why do you ask?"

Nevermind. It doesn't matter anyway, I can't attend your community center. I'm in a wheelchair (Christ, lady! Give up already).

"It's a church & no problem. The community center has proper facilities to accom --- "
---CLICK---

GETTING DOWN TO BRASS TACKS

Probably, quite possibly & most likely the most intelligent metal album you've never heard.

HAMMER SMASHED MAHATMA SOULED-OUT

(with thanks and apologies to DISINFO pocketbooks)



- Mohandis K. Gandhi, the father of Indian Independence & champion of self determination for the 3rd world was infact a life-long imperialist who worshipped & was loyal in his heart to the British empire

- Was a staunch racist towards blacks n' whites (Martin Luther King & Jesus you may now roll over in your graves) with a particular virulent anti-Africanism stance. His only real reason for fighting discrimination during his early years in South Africa was his arrogant furiousness of being treated on par with local blacks. He was NEVER anti-apartheid

- His call for the upliftment of the poor was a sham with his betrayal of the 'Untouchables' (now harijans); these are the societal outcastes comprised of tribal hill-people, long discriminated & regarded as lowest-of-the-low. The plan for their full integration instead of preferrential treatment was compromised & their interests betrayed to which mistreatment of them endures to this day

- Imposed strict celibacy on those who lived in his retreat even though (with his outdated views on sex) he slept with multiple young girls as a vow of chastity meant to tempt himself

- Talked WAY too much about enemas, shit, piss & the bathroom as a means of high purity(!) and visiting dignitaries frequently got his inappropriately timed & unwanted lectures of bowel/bladder movements

- Was an admirer of Hitler & Mussolini with an inability to define their evil and couldn't see how his philosophy of peace, dignity & equality was against everything fascism stood for. When interviewed after the war about Jews in the holocaust, he related they were to blame for their own extermination & that fault was not that of their killers. Furthermore, he said in effect that the end of conflict would have been better off if the mass deaths had occured much earlier on (so much for his views on tolerance & non-violence)

- Then came his hypocritical stance on what he called 'alien medical treatment'; most disturbingly here was his adamant forbidding to let his terminally ill wife (whom he treated like a servant - his views on women & marriage were nothing short of sexist) take penicillin for bronchial pnuemonia. His last refusal was just hrs before on the very day she died. 6 weeks later he was suffering from malaria and after an additional 3 weeks of sickness, he took quinine & quickly recovered. Later when he had appendicitis, he again displayed his double standard by allowing to undergo an appendectomy to save himself ---

THE HUSTLER WILL NOT BE HOODWINKED

President Obama:
You have proven to be a great campaigner. You have yet to demonstrate your ability to govern. Who needs the Republicans? They don’t know what compromise is. They’re just out to derail your presidency. Bitch slap ’em at every opportunity and put them in their place. They lost; you didn’t.

As for disloyal Democrats, you need to yank the carpet out from under them. Remind them that their survival is dependent upon yours. Don’t pull punches, Mr. President. You need some gonads, and if you don’t have any, as Hillary would say, you’d better grow some.

You have failed to keep many campaign promises. You’ve ignored civil-liberty violations such as warrantless wiretapping. You passed a stimulus package that is obviously full of pork for Democrats. You handed over billions more in taxpayer dollars to crooked bankers. You listened to the very people who created our economic meltdown, the Mutt and Jeff team of Larry Summers and Tim Geithner. You’ve let the insurance lobbyists hijack health-care reform to the detriment of every man, woman, and child in America.

You must say what you mean and mean what you say. Closing Guantanamo means just that. You could do it right now, Mr. President. You don’t have to wait until January. You can place terrorist suspects in the federal correctional system without creating any risk to our citizens.

You’re a nice guy. Everybody likes nice guys. Sometimes they finish last. You don’t want that, and neither do those of us who voted you in.

The American people have placed their future in your hands. For heaven’s sake don’t let them down. Don’t let yourself down.

Larry Flynt
Publisher, Hustler magazine

GIMMIE GIMMIE GIMMIE

(with thanks and apologies to NEW INTERNATIONALIST magazine)




2500 yrs ago, a Chinese philosopher wrote "there is no calamity greater than lavish desires, no greater guilt than discontentment and no greater disaster than greed". Sometimes, these days you'd hardly think so. The Gordon Gekko n' yuppie 1980's that surged in alarming stockmarket folly, corporate skullduggery, decadence, excess & raging arrogance fell on deaf ears in the 90's. As consumer culture shapes us into restless, dissatisfied & all-desiring economic pawns, greed is being redefined as a virtue with legit guiding principles for financial prosperity n' general happiness. But values & collective aspirations that made us strong are also eroding. Without greed, social structure would implode seeing that it's a psychological launchpad for activity where absence of tax or labour constraints (otherwise burdensome to corporations adhering to responsibility), brings the flourishment of profit & growth. What appears could be our ultimate undoing as a species keeps us motivated, alert & itchy for change. The happy factor of wealth due to higher incomes, more possessions & improved living standards however has it's toxicity as our sanctification of greed is creating a deep existential void that can't be filled entirely – whatever the degree of material indulgence, personal achievement or private gratification. Despite this empty self routine of modern life, with its insatiability n' alienation, it may strangely yet actually be what is necessary to power greed economics. Desire & satisfaction is in our nature - we always want more. Society's culture determines the extent to which our propensity for greed is activated or suppressed with capitalism, materialism, hyper-competition & discrimination forming an overarching map of (predominantly) Western consciousness.

Greed operates best at very low levels of wisdom, awareness & understanding. Relentless dumbing down in selfish society translates into dense frivolity which becomes a backbone for gluttony. Short-term advantages by way of increased tendencies toward over-consumption, waste, premature disposal n' replacement, needless upgrading & general disregard for conservation, drives entrepreneurial investment thus facilitating the manufacture n' commercial exploitation of false needs. If our collective social life habits pass down to next generations are we infact teaching children that greed is the great hope of humanity from which can spring boundless prosperity, progress & innovation?Isn't ‘dying with the most toys' an infusion of self-destruction because of its preoccupation with commercialization's fuel for addiction? Greed seeks to eliminate all obstacles in its path & even work itself into political philosophies which declare opposition enemies of freedom, underminers of social fabric & undemocratic forces nothing less than traitorous. This schizophrenic haze that numbs society to the tragic & dangerous consequences of a warped apartheidian realization now overwhelms conscience, reason, compassion, love, family bonds & community. Moreover, existing levels of constant chronic greed are causing clinical depression, collapse in mental health, stress n' anxiety, burnout, loss of moral behaviour & despair in many people. This pleonexia plague of rapaciousness has made us ill.

SHOPPERS FIRST, YEAH RIGHT

Pretty good racket having to pay 5¢ a plastic bag after buying groceries. Add it all up for retailers annually & seriously, we're getting hosed. Apparently we're charged the annoying extra fee because our purchasing-gluttony supposedly contributes to the enviro-hazard of growing garbage. Someone's gotta pay. But plastics infact barely contribute to fossil fuel consumption & the belief that bags clogging our seas n' oceans causing marine life damage (those poor precious choking dolphins - more intervention, people!) is infact from a faulty study in the 1980s. The trendy new reusable sacks are conveniently handy but making n' shipping them infact emits higher greenhouse gasses than any paper alternatives & cotton materials unless organic have higher pesticide doses. Plastic is reusable & when not filled with trash or pet litter is recyclable. The thinnest bags without fancy handles, drawstrings or other stupid additions can be reprocessed & tossed in with laundry to prevent bacterial contamination. So tell me again why exactly we need this lame nickel tax which accomplishes pretty much shit on the green front? Yes, using less of everything is better & the way to go these days but since when is charging more just to feel good supposed to make us appreciate value? Where's the common sense there? More like the opposite effect initiated by greedy morons who aren't all idiots because they obviously know what eco-concerns can be played & exploited to always squeeze us. It's always about money. The fuckers.

SHE'S GOT BALLS

There's been a fair amount of talk already predicting who's gonna make a run for the US Presidency in 2012. The most frightening prospect is Sarah Palin having recently resigned as the Alaskan Governor. At this point we all know the story... Tina Fey striking comedy gold making fun of her, the disastrous Katie Couric interview & repeated tv flubbings, the allegation that while in office she tried to have her sister's ex-husband fired as a state trooper because of that couple's custody battle, being prank called by 2 Quebec radio hosts, David Letterman running afoul of her for making what some considered a tasteless joke about her daughter's teen pregnancy... Through it all she weathered the criticism but credibility has to be more than just admiration from fellow hockey moms, hunting afficionados & Joe the plumbers. Charisma amongst the common folk is important but in fairness deeper concerns lie in how the McCain camp turned on her for what they deemed a lack of intelligence on issues & having too flashy a fashion sense which they blamed cost him the election. These trivialities aside, what we saw was a feisty, ambitious woman with a confidence to match male peers but an examination below the surface reveals arrogance, self-absorbed delusion, huge ego, cavalier slipperiness with honesty & the coldness to turn on loyal aides inspite of how her beauty can soften projected image. Sarah the once anchorwoman is a straight up rogue. Whether it's public feuding with her grandson's young father or her irrational narcissism, nothing screams walking punchline like incompetence & inexperience for diplomacy on the world stage with her seemingly thin knowledge & almost non-existant grasp for domestic affairs n' foreign policy. She's too dumb to reside in the White House. Can you say death card in a tarot deck? There's always time to learn n' improve but c'mon, really? Palin the first female leader of the Oval Office? Imagine the impact. She doesn't stand a chance. (And heaven help us if we're proven wrong).

BOOTY CALL

The real Indiana Jones. click here

Not long ago a new museum in Athens opened overlooking the Parthenon temple. On display were plastercast copies of the Elgin marbles - a sculpted ornamental band that once covered the temple's 2 sides. These deliberate replicas are meant to draw attention to the Greeks calling for the repatriation of the original marbles which reside in the British Museum & have since 1816. So many questions & arguments have arisen: do globally significant monuments belong to modern day states or the whole world? If the artifacts are returned what precedent does this set for Italy, Egypt, Turkey & China who also call for the return of treasures that they consider their national property? London on the one hand can't use the old excuse that Athens doesn't have the housing with suittable light or climate control but can/should they refuse the loan request because of Greek non-acknowledgment of British ownership? The British Museum is free of charge & hosts more visitors than any other in the world whereas display in Greece would be viewed as part of that country's history so if we go by the accessibility claim, would moving the marbles to the Heathrow airport be more prudent?

The controversy first begins with the Parthenon first used as a mosque & later as an ammunition dump. As a garrison it was in fragile ruins & by the time Napoleon sent agents to gather relics, the locals were using it as a quarry where travellers n' collectors were helping themselves to various-size pieces of sculpture. Greece says a return of the marbles could restore 85% of the original but the British refute this citing more than half the remainders of both Parthenon ends are long lost to time with bits n' pieces scattered in other Euro museums. The British Lord who ultimately took the marbles said that Greek ingratitude & indifference to them meant they didn't deserve them. After court permission for removal by his workmen with no opposition, a number of inner panels, life-sized figures & outer sculptures were chiselled, hacked off or simply lifted off the ground for transport. In 1816 he finally sold the works to the British govt at half the cost of what he initially had to pay in bribes & expenses. So was this protection or plunder? Rescue from decay or imperialist theft? While some academic contemporaries of the day condemened the Lord, the present overwhelming consensus is that his actions saved the treasure from neglect, acid rain & pollution thus allowing for another 200yrs of preservation.

If we believe in the value of the collection, does the way the material was acquired overall become secondary to the fundamental purpose, however dubious the circumstances? One argument suggests ancient artifacts as evidence of the world's origins belong to no particular modern nation as this compromises antiquity which in turn knows no borders. But the 'property of the world' idea can be countered in that proper appreciation for antiquity by everyone is just cynical bullshit reeking of crass gloablism. From the arcahaeological perspective a monument should stay in its location where first produced - meant as an entire entity not to be moved from its setting. But the current heritage viewpoint is that while this may be so, objects should be spread around the world to help expose n' explain different cultures. So new politics vs. 9/10ths possession; importance hasn't diminished but inherited rtight in the xontext of a classic civilization's art has heightened in contention. Long story short: who owns the past?

MEDIA PERSPECTIVE AMIDST LAPDOGS ON THE ZOOM LENS (COMMUNICATION BREAKDOWN)

Criticism our business, a stake in understanding
Information derived with trust so demanding
Impact & undermining, our political perception
Acknowledge to believe, to shape our reflection
What & who we are, assumptions no more
Mission-oriented differences face what's in store
Aggressive environment, constant 24 hours
Junk food channel choices, deciding where 'lie' the powers
Motivated consumers excercise more control
Technology flipping the relationship & thus its role
Searching for wants but not wanting to wait
Delivering affection from love to hate
Taking cues, driven by happenstance
The news of our events, often by chance
When ideas & trends fuel an urgent seek of mystique
We point to intrigue to explain the peak so unique
Satire is sharp in it's substantial punctuation
Connecting the dots, pointing out manipulation
Subjective information from the tools that make sense
The audience appetite accountable, one so immense
Responsible practice to raise but a mention
If to raise but an eyebrow with the best of intention
Profit the motive, the healthy skeptical view
But public issues resonate, in the on-going fight for what's true

NEW WORLD OUROBOROS THE FIRST TIME AROUND

A short convoluted cabal history of secret societies & occult conspiracies in the overcrowded ranks of those running the show --- King Nimrod the Babylon stonemason & his apprentice craftsmen, the fraternal builders of the tower of Babel & King Solomon's temple in Jerusalem, enslaved Hebrews, Egyptian pyramid builders, the ancient brotherhood of freemasons, pagan medieval guilds, Christian cathedral architects, the knights templar, the illuminati, Jack the Ripper, the order of Skull and Bones, Mozart, George Washington, Benjamin Franklin, revolutionary traitor Benedict Arnold, Scottish poet Robert Burns, hashishin assassins, thugees, authors Rudyard Kipling & Oscar Wilde, the priority of Zion, financial titans the Rothschilds & Rockefellers, Henry Ford, Vladimir Lenin, the Vril n' Thule (pre-cursors to the Nazis), Presidents Theodore Roosevelt & Franlin D. Roosevelt, Charles Lindbergh, Winston Churchill, Harry S. Truman, the Honeymooners Racoons, the Flintstones Loyal order of Water Buffalos, the Shriners & Elk lodges, Charles Manson, 'Son of Sam' David Berkowitz, the CIA, the Vatican, the Trilateral Commission, the Bilderbergers, would-be killers Arthur Bremer & John Hinckley, gunmen Lee Harvey Oswald, Jack Ruby, James Earl Ray, Sirhan Sirhan...

GOOD GRIEF & RATS, BLOCKHEAD!

Instantly recognizable in his yellow t-shirt with the black zigzag at the waist, Charlie Brown is the world's greatest failure & most popular loser who encounters more disasters than all his (so called) friends put together. He's never really happy & his lack of self confidence is well founded by acknowledging that he's the kind of person naturally taken advantage of. If not facing one perplexing problem after another, its the constant cutting remarks made to his face (an acception of undeserved abuse mirroring certain ethnic groups facing persecution & blind prejudice), learning to live with sorrow n' disappointment as almost a way of life, bearing the sins of the world on his shoulders (like minorities throughout centuries) & just searching for ways to make his life more meaningful without the efforts of religious dogma. His unsuccess is such that he's in the clouds & unable to deal with mundane n' ordinary things of everyday existence which makes him a bit of a neurotic going beyond personal contacts to thus better himself inspite of getting so carried away at times that he's capable of losing his appetite.

With his respect for tradition & patriotic fervor, sports feeds Charlie Brown's yearning to have his athletic prowess discovered and he truly participates for fun, spirit & enjoyment and believes winning doesn't count as much as pleasure, inspite of him having lost 983 straight baseball games as his team's pitcher (alongside having lost 10,000 checker games in a row). Like Snoopy, he allows personal motivation to enter competition & doesn't bother to hide his desires. He can never fly a kite without it getting stuck in a tree & always has the football pulled away by Lucy at the split second of connecting with a kick resulting in him landing flat on his back. While not fond of summer camp, he goes year after year & peanut butter sandwiches are a favourite comfort when he's lonely. Linus is his best friend & most trusted confidant and like him is capable of criticizing the educational institution. Although panicky about the prospect of further yrs in school, he's a born rationalizer who doesn't bother to analyze or protest it as an inevitabilty because he's a follower of the command 'obey & learn'. Also like Linus, he takes sin seriously and has realistic rather than biblical interpretations of good n' bad deeds. Also like Lucy, he never fails to recognize his Dad's birthday or Father's Day. And while quick to stick up for his Dad claiming to want to be like him, there's a minor alteration - would rather have him be a bus driver than a barber.

Holidays always bring Charlie Brown the blues as Christmas commercialism gets him pure down in the dumps depressed and Halloween results in a mangled sheet of a ghost costume & instead of candy, only netting rocks. Being a hopeless romantic, he longs for a Valentine card & party invitation. At the sight of the beloved little red-haired girl (Heather), he blushes & turns pale confessing his love for her to Linus but worshipping her from afar, afraid to approach her with a declaration of affection. He composes poems longing to give them as tokens of fondness hanging onto the ideal that she is the true woman of his dreams yet constantly losing chances to meet her after continual plots n' plans of new ways for eventual introduction. His demonstrations & protestations of love carry such an unrequited passion sadly indicating that he really couldn't hope to have his passion returned. After running up a psychiatry bill of $143.00 to find he still has the same faults, his ultimate trouble of adapting to occupational situations doesn't deter him from persistence. He's terribly afraid of being labeled a phony but is the furthest thing from ever being a fake. Yes, he continues to suffer from the need to be accepted but for all the exclusion he remains sincere. Charlie Brown is a trooper who never gives up. The kid just doesn't have quit in him.

DEMON RISING

One of the best docs in recent yrs is still 'The Corporation'. About the brutal amorality & psychopathic pathology of corporations as diagnosed by a W.H.O checklist of behavioral symptoms. Beginning with earliest origins n' developments & moving into brand name responsibility n' the manipulation of loyalty right up to encroaching privitization n' public demonstrationist countermeasures to combat relentless assault, we see the shocking n' damning yet fascinating incrimination of IGM & Coca Cola in nazi Germany, Shell in Nigeria, Monsanto's war on journalists, Kathie Lee Gifford sweatshops in Mexico and Bechtel claiming rainwater(!) in Bolivia as just a few examples of bastards of the highest order. And possibly the only thing more disturbing than their callous, deceitful & anti-social actions are the exposed lies behind longheld perceptions revealed by non other than free market gurus, CEO's & whistleblowers claiming that (a) capitalism has bought out democracy & therefore are not one n' the same but infact enemies as corporations alone are free & the rest of us are their witless consumer slaves and (b) we are not protected by a free press & the psychopaths continue to rule because their business agenda under the falseness of freedom artfully withholds the extent of damage done to us by its masters. Accurate or apocryphal? See for yourself & decide.

Get thee behind me, Satan. click here

AND STILL THE APPEARING EQUILIBRIUM OF EMANCIPATION REMAINS ENIGMATIC

Co-opting appropriation is all the rage. click here

A black President, a black leader of the Republican National Committee, interracial dating/marriages and hip hop gone global: for every step forward, how many are we set back in talking about race in society? Noted negro scholar W.E.B. Du Bois predicted it would be the dominant issue of the 20th century. Here we are in the 21st still arguing about slavery & reparations. If it isn't the race question, it's the race card. Prejudice, discrimination, bigotry & reverse-racism - we're stuck in a fuckin' rut. Are we incapable of getting past it? Will we ever? If it isn't the suspicion n' ignorance of identifying a visible minority responsible for a disproportionate amount of crime, it's a community's long & troubled relationship with the police. No matter the statistics or stereotypes, deep misunderstanding in an envisioned image has created an emblamatic pattern where racial profiling is a reminder & key to unlocking even the unconscious mind that skin color unfortunately remains too relevant. We're dealing with a double standard. Look at juries in court trials. Look at how we can crucify Michael Vick but sanctify a Martha Stewart. Both were guilty of charges & deserving of punishment but does one qualify for having a career ruined more than the other who was quickly restored? We can spout all the progress, sensitivity & diversity we want but non-bias does not exist. Probably never did. Rap, robbery, rape, guns, gangs & drugs is the only picture some refuse to look beyond. For all the strides n' achievements we can agree on & applaud and for all the agendas with their justifications rife in epithets & paranoia, we are sadly haunted by the persistence of how this parallel duality can both coalesce & crush. Maybe gradualness of equality is how subtelty seeps through & how we measure the effects through time. No doubt we're better off than in eras gone before & past turmoil gone by but decades n' decades later and it seems we are no closer to any viable solutions to solving this subject permanently, just presently trapped here having to make the best of it in our conditions. Go ahead & point to any promising n' positive changes of an eventual eureka breakthrough on the horizon if you can. I doubt its existence but let me know if you find it because yet with all the bother, I don't know who's even looking anymore.

THE THIN LINE BETWEEN LOVE & HATE

So let's say you leave a Muslim country to flee the oppression of ruling power extremism as an example. And you come to Canada still adhering to Islamic faith but with the certainties of democratic freedoms at your disposal. Your children assimilate into North American culture but perceived social transgressions of the females such as pregnancy outside of wedlock, abortion, adultery, incest, dating/marriage of a different race, refusing traditional dress or just being the subject of community gossip brings shame n' disgrace to the family & thus honor killing which you commit. Having not conformed to a gender role brings violence to women which you justify because you believe her body, behaviour, speech n' life should be controlled as a means to prevent consumption by western decadence. Obey without question or else. Now you're arrested for murder & have the audacity to believe you should circumvent our legal system because supposedly you're answering to a higher authority but you seem oblivious to the fact that your personal religious zealotry although legitimized by brutal sexist law in some other countries (while not officially sanctioned by more liberal goverments) has no basis here in our country. In some instances death is replaced by flogging, gang rape or acid-thrown facial disfigurement as retaliatory restoration of reputation for the perpetrator who claims victimization(!) However embedded in generations & engrained in the brain this psychotic tolerance elsewhere, our penal code doesn't & damn shouldn't recognize your ignorant abuse from an alien custom taken to the final extreme simply because it's a foreign practice you feel is convenient to use as a defense to escape justice for an offensive crime which you don't even consider an outrage. The practice of ethnic 1st degree filicide, regardless of how you slice it just don't fly & means you should rot, assholes. Decent society says fuck sharia & fuck you. Roast in flames.

THINK BIG, SCAM LARGE

Ain't gonna be no jailbreak here. click here

You would think that after 9/11 stringent protections in place would be effective in cutting down massively on illegal n' criminal enterprise but the discouragement is in hardly all that much. Barely a dent has been placed in stopping money laundering, drug trafficking, arms trading, sex slavery & even stolen art. The operations are worth annual billions and have grown in size n' scope. International crime has always existed but the familiarity has bred a dangerous complacency where illicit activity is seen as an irritant rather than a serious threat. The economy & politics have reduced obstacles that distance borders which impose movement on goods, money & people. Regionality has expanded worldwide & governments fail to keep up with criminality gone big business n' sophisticated. Illegal activity has diversified to reduce risks of all revenue coming from one area, heavy sums are spent gaining support & protection from politicans n' govt officials and investment in reputation-enhancing ventures provides legitimacy. From real estate to banking, this blurring of the line that differentiates between the crook and upright citizen has become so close that national interests can be replaced by the corrupt ambition to line one's pockets be it smuggling or selling nuclear technology. Since industry is heavily regulated with lobbying relations, global criminality has followed suit. Why shouldn't it? Criminal 'industry' is the most regulated of all as it is banned(!) & therefore the return on its investment through high-powered influence offers the highest profit dividends. And philanthropy & charities means being able to hide untold sums in offshore accounts & evade taxes. All of this successful growth means the consequences are without precedent.

SITTING IN THE WAITING ROOM

The government flu. click here

To hear Michael Moore tell it in expose form (minus the self-aggrandizing), getting sick today is a chore. Finding out what's wrong means scheduling appointments, visiting the doctor, filling out forms, flipping through magazines bored out of our skull, delays never getting in on proper time, answering questions while being swabbed n' poked, waiting for test results, picking up prescriptions & trecking across the city to see specialists. Seeking healthcare has become a nuisance as much as it's a necessity. Governments, insurers & we taxpayers are being forced to confront complicated, inefficiencies in a system focusing too much on management more than prevention. True reformation would mean the doctor being a last resort instead of a first step. This means a huge shift in legal n' financial changes and innovation in computers, communicating, robotics, nanotechnology & biology. The Web already allows for patients quick access to information & customized plans. Of course new diagnosis & treatment methods won't make doctors obsolete but general practioners will spend more time assessing options for immediate help as opposed to just steering people through the revolving door cycle. Highly personalized treatments like drugs or machines will be free to focus on detection for highly difficult procedures thus pushing frontiers. And all of this will take place in the developed world first so the troubling question is will it hasten or hamper the spread of its innovations to the third world? As diseases circle the globe in hours spreading the panic of pandemic, just keeping health costs in check is a trying effort as rarer & less painful doctor visits are equally fanciful in comparison because fuck knows we are fed up with the medical instituitions benefitting not in our proper treatment or cure but in the profit of referrals n' pharmaceuticals.

AN ANTHROPOLOGIST, A PHYSICIST & A SHEPHERD WALK INTO A BAR

Supposedly God created the world & us and poof, here we are. And on the 7th day he rested. So begins Genesis in the bible with the Garden of Eden, Adam n' Eve, the apple & the snake, Satan's trickery, disobeyment of the rules, punishment by banishment & an endless lineage that follows. Everything after in recorded history to now - good, bad n' ugly - is considered an extension of the Lord's original plan. Big bang indeed. Supposedly creationism is responsible for all life & the earth - pre-existing God - as the universe is believed to have a beginning formed by supernatural structure. It's here that humanity evolved stemming from organisms crawling from primordial soup n' sludge. Basically the ooze of the planet giving birth. Are we its rich blood or foul expelled waste? Supposedly Darwin's theory of evolution is the most scientific revolutionary explanation of our presence as the origin of the species descending from apes who would morph into our prehistoric, ancestral, neanderthal forefathers. When Tennessee school teacher John Scopes introduced this into a classroom as a widely held belief, the state freaked out & famously dragged him into court. Subscribing to Darwin is no short order as our very existence in his explanations would in turn completely transform into a walk down a long road of further exploration, new presentations & questions; transmutation, natural selective survival of the fittest, biology & DNA - complexities of which none are spared. From cosmic speculation to critical reasoning, the sphere of our infinite actuality spans vast forays leaping from intellectual arrangement to ill-conceived subserviency; all depending on a point of view. From fairy tales to forensic proof, there's a lot of who, what & how to be asked in the means of our manufacture with no shortage of arguments. Through the search of our discovery we remain ever-challenging in the once n' for all spiritual find for our grand maker.

FROM MAO TO YAO

Some Chinese sports historians claim their country to have invented basketball pointing to an ancient pastime form of handball. The game was infact invented by eccentric Canadian YMCA Doctor James Naismith in 1891 whose missionaries arrived in China shortly after believing salvation for heathens lay through God & hoops. Fast forward to 100yrs later and the symbols of faith now trickling into the country would be Michael Jordan & the Nike swoosh both played to a hiphop soundtrack. China finally emerging from centuries of isolation & hurtling into dizzying prosperity went NBA crazy. As the last great untapped market, sports in the world's most populous nation transcends mere entertainment, recreation & even business: it's a projection of national ambition. Basketball as a hyper-capitalist import is modelled on the old Soviet system of 'womb-to-womb' programs all about glorification to the motherland as a non-stop assembly line churns out champions. When 7'6 Mao Ying was drafted in the top spot by Houston in 2002, he literally went from Pacific foreigner to instant patriot smashing the stereotype of the weak & diminutive Asian. Pepsi, Reebok, McDonald's, & VISA all jockeyed to kiss his ass, waving multimillion dollar endorsement contracts. Chinese history suddenly looked to be radically transformed through a giant: the catastrophe of the disastrous decade-long cultural revolution could finally give way to renaissance; global power & proud oriental supremacy would command respect; gold medal training schools would produce juggernauts and finally a positive image of China could be offered having nothing to do with murderous Chairman Mao, communist oppression, massacres at Tiananmen Square or controversial occupation of Tibet or suppression of Taiwanese independence from the mainland. Even the ridicule from being considered nothing more than just aggressive tennis table/ping pong nerds & doping cheats would disintegrate and bird flu was still unheard of. And all of this at a time when the NBA just a few years before was a wasteland plagued by bankrupt teams, drug scandlas & a weak audience. Yao was both the 1st saviour & heir apparent after Jordan passed the torch. He is the obedient embodiment in corporate conglomeration of East meets West.

STEADY MOBBIN'

Globalization has allowed for street gangs to proliferate around the world & the hypermobility of members sees them existing in a paradox: isolated in neighborhoods in their organizations heavily populated yet their activity & culture spread beyond borders. But the serious threat is just as matched with boogeyman minsinformation. Associated imagery through music & films not only tends to exaggerate reality but from the distortion can be flat out wrong. And it's too easy for hysteria to link adolescents with being on par with drug cartels, bikers n' terrorists. After cyberspace, the phenomenon is ironically & unwittingly spurred in a sense by American immigration policy. The growing deportation of tens of thousands of immigrants with criminal records has amounted to unintentional adverse state-sponsored gang migration particulary in Central America & Mexico. Rather than solving the gang problem, the US may have only spread it.

STRIP-MINING TALENT ON THE CHEAP

Major League Baseball is increasingly dependant on talent born & bred in Latin America with about 30% of all players in the majors being Hispanic. Leading the way is the Dominican Republic accounting for 1 out of every 7 pros born in that country & another 30% of players in the US minor leagues hailing from this tiny nation. All the pro teams scout the DR & a number of them have set up elaborate multimillion dollar baseball academies but consider the unmentioned disturbing realities: for every superstar there are 100 potential prospects & for every 100 of these toiling on the margins, there are thousands of DR players in the circuit cast aside. So where does responsibility with the sport lie (with what's not being done) involving a country with 60% of its population living below the poverty line? When kids 10-12 quit school to play ball full-time, what happens to the 98 out of 100 who at 18-20 emerge with no education?

Make no mistake, the diamond is a big deal. Poverty & endless trumping of rags-to-riches stories make the academies hugely attractive to DR youth. Athletes playing without shoes, rolled up cloth for balls, using milk cartons for gloves and stick n' branches for bats are naturally going to flock in droves for nice uniforms, good equipment & dreams of a better life. Players encounter many firsts: housing in top-notch dormitories, sleeping under clean sheets, eating balanced n' nutritious meals, using a toilet & indoor shower and being taught discipline, punctuality & following instructions. The competition to get into these elite 'factories' is fierce & flunking a tryout doesn't deter a kid but instead only spurs them on to the next club & however many more until they eventually get picked up.

The amateurs who do make it to the big time often end up little more than supporting players in a system designed to help pro teams ferret out the select few genuine successes. But how many really just end up on the bench in the majors let alone play an inning (nevermind several games if even that)? What happens to the scant remainder who get to a major league farm system only to fall to the hard concrete of failure? The thrill to have gone from a dirt lot to a US stadium before fans & hefty money is enormous but once discarded as an unprofitable resource, what lays in store off the field? North American washouts atleast have a high school or college diploma & thus fallback skills to try another career while most Domincans don't. It's a hell of a journey with the odds of achievement massively stacked against them. They return home to a despertely poor struggle or try to eke out a meager existence of manual labor in the US with nothing left over except tales of playing days chasing iconic immortality.

And Major League Baseball seems uninterested & unconcerned abouth the awful truth in the central role it shapes with this situation. There seems to be little regard for the Dominican players employed & their families left behind. Acclimation to a new culture & oppurtunities for different doors to be opened like coaching are positive n' possible but the chances are few n' far between & just highly unlikely, so do the pro bigwigs have any obligation to cushion the crash of those good enough to be acadamized but then given the boot? It's too great a weight to be on a players shoulders but should they alone bear the burden?

GROUND CONTROL TO KUBRICK AND OJ IN SPACE

40yrs after an estimated 600 million people worldwide watched Armstrong, Aldrin & Collins make the giant leap for mankind on the big, white nightlight in the sky, the conspiracy nuts say it was all a hoax faked by NASA. Have we been duped by the biggest deception of the 20th century?

1

2


Operation Lune/Dark side of the Moon pt.1 click here
Operation Lune/Dark side of the Moon pt.2 click here
Operation Lune/Dark side of the Moon pt.3 click here

THAT'S THE WAY IT WAS

R.I.P. Walter. 1916-2009

HOW MANY WRONGS DOES IT TAKE TO MAKE A REAL SONOFABITCH WRITE?

There's a saying that "those who don't take advantage of their offerings on a regular basis truly miss out on something uniquely exciting". I remember hearing this several years ago at Niagara during its annual Shaw Festival.

Until then I was unaware that Irish playwright George Bernard Shaw was a repugnantly opinionated, self-conscious intellectual who was horribly wrong on almost every major issue of his day. A real irritating bastard if ever there was one. His legacy is measly & monstrous and with his supreme gift for annoyance, I wonder about the concept of 'wilfull blindness'. Living in denial is something that should make one shudder. While Shaw has been called a bad dramatist, for someone who wallowed in a sea of extreme intelligence with contemporaries of the day, he all too often drowned in the dark lake of ignorance (sharing the same anti-semitism held by Ernest Hemingway).

Like so many arrogant & conceited revolutionary lefties, Shaw considered himself right & everybody else wrong. Maybe this is why many of his plays are full of artificial characters spewing dry, dull philosophy. It may even be funny & challenging but it isn't all convincing regardless of how many literary purist supporters say otherwise. His ideology was inconsistent & based not on pure beliefs but on his own prejudicial feelings. He was a staunch animal-activist convinced creatures had rights & refused to eat their flesh yet at the same time was a huge admirer of dictators Mussolini & Hitler along with Henry Ford (men whose own ambitions cloaked in the service of their people infact debased humanity). He was obsessed with his body, refusing alcohol as damaging to his 'soul temple' yet considered other people's bodies as mattering far less.

Shaw became a great ass-licker of Stalin's Soviet Empire & during 1932-33 he toured the Ukraine in the midst of notorious forced starvation on the peasant population. On returning to the West & when asked of the extermination of hundreds of thousands (by now, well documented), he proclaimed the reports of famine being false. At one journalist, he laughed & threw a can of meat saying "I didn't see one under-nourished person in Russia". Shaw went further with his hypocritical, contradictory faults : preaching equality of the sexes but treating women terribly; writing about liberation for the poor but despising & misunderstanding the working class; supporting Irish republicanism while remaining an enemy of its deep Roman Catholic foundations; singing of class eradication but practicing snobbery. If other colleagues were coffee, Shaw was pure poison.

While certainly not alone in his astounding insincerity for all his professed views, his silent agreements made him as equally dangerous & deadly. Where other socialist novelists, (most notably H.G. Wells who wrote 'War of the Worlds') demonized Jews; felt people of color should be forced into eternal world slavery; and sterilization and/or extermination should apply to those deemed not fitting into the needs of modern civilization, Shaw did little other than nod his approval to the prevailing & overtly racist theorizing of eugenics. He once noted "Everything happens to everybody sooner or later if there is time enough". A disturbing statement for its subtle, hateful indifference when placed in the context of his attitude. Calling him a fuckin' asshole is a gross understatement.

In a much sharper & clearer focus, Shaw's work kills God & religion; family & traditional beliefs; ethical & moral values; and any vision of a present society to replace it with a new utopia. Is it really any wonder & surprising that every murderous tyrant has aped this same fanatic/fundamentalist bullshit? Fuck George Bernard Shaw's books & his toxic totalitarianism! I guess choosing sides depends on which end of the political spectrum one lies - and then tell lies about.

THE SOURCE OF SPIN (BITING THE HAND THAT FEEDS)

The Kaczynski code. click here

Media monoploy. click here

News media today is examined & challenged by political, legal, cultural & economic forces. Behind the scenes from journalism to government-administration attacks on media itself, the popularity of press is unequaled in ever-new complexities stemming from the war on terror, the internet & globalization; all presenting a larger role in society. Debates in the mainstream scrutinize this relationship and have reacted to controversies such as anonymous reporting & unintended fallout from investigations that damage reputations further questioning first amendment protections. The jeopardy of additional complication faces the tough test of privacy n' protection issues as newspapers are increasingly drawn into heated, partisan columns n' editorial stances about the safety & harm of national security. This ominous threat paints a future picture (if not existing already) of major network divisions under seige facing profit pressures, cost cutting from corporate ownership, the rise of cable stations & growing computer tech innovation; all are remaking the business & transforming the very definition of news. From executives & analysts, bureaucrats to bloggers and the Mahers, Millers, Stewarts n' Colberts - through all the open mics, camera chaos & furious tapping of typing keyboards, we see a battle of not only survival but for market dominance in this rapidly changing field with international influence in this fight for news coverage as public service.

TIME TO BRING BACK THE DUNCE CAP

Education's uphill battle is an odd frustration; a dishonor roll with emphasis specializing towards narrow fields of study solely career-based yet through dumbed-down curriculum. A materialistic mass production approach where analyzation & questioning for fulfilment has been replaced by quick memory easily forgotten. To think, reason & act for betterment has been lost in the shuffle. With knowledge all around us in the information age (inspite of force-fed doctrine), why the explosion to ignore? Problem solving & human endeavor from business to culture has been corrupted evermore. A psychological/stalingradual pretense of excellence in which best efforts (heavy on success & achievement) starve to death in a cauldron of attrition. An impatience malaise which asks - when learning fails how does one hold onto hope? When honest pursuit of truth is bypassed by cynics to declare non-existence, is purpose & development always indebted to flaw rendering evolvement our most perfect imperfection?

LIGHTS OUT

Consider while we sleep there are those who are starving or being slaughtered. Meanwhile the park down the street from where we live looks fine even as the homeless (our human garbage) are cleared out. We are anesthetized against everything from campaigns of temperant mercy to ongong aversion of suffering. How much are we willing to sleep through however? No longer the physiological state of body resting, it's our modern politique to relate to the world; eyes closed & mouth shut - contemporary social denial. Reality is the alarm bell to which we hit the snooze button. We are a victim species of sleepwalkers slowly perishing. (Are you still reading this or have you dozed off?)... With open eyes we are blind to pain; sedated & up against a systematic new sleeping class. Global media is a dreamworld produced by a panorama multiplex. Advertisers peddle instant happiness to our minds half-asleep. Why wake us up when we can buy scented toilet paper? The world is rotting but atleast our ass can smell sweet. Waking up to what's going on means ridicule; it's easier to not do anything which is why the world 'as it is now' is considered the only way it can be. Forget imagination because it's hard enough maintaining cynicism. We have to resist the temptation of hitting that snooze button. The sleeping class is relentless & the sleepwalkers need to unite. The clock is ticking & we are in danger of falling into permanent coma; the state of sleep descending into brain collapse. It's easy to sleep but time is running out. Only the final stage is the perfect death sleep - zombistocracy. And fuck, are we tired. Will we ever awake? Can we?

THE GREATER EAST ASIA CO-PROSPERITY SPHERE

How terrible was the toll of the Japanese in China during WWII? Intense historical study & research by author n' film subject Iris Chang is alleged to have tragically led to severe depression & her suicide in November 2004. It seems like insult to injury then that some Japanese revisionists to this day deny certain atrocities ever took place.



Japanese WWII propaganda. click here

1

2

TRENCH FIGHTING TRANSLABYRINTH TRAILS AS PSYCHOTROPIC KALEIDOSCOPES ASSAULT RE-INVENTION OF THE WHEEL

Digging into the inner reaches, exploring & setting up shop.
Ginsberg has howl with Kerouac n' Cassady his welcoming committee.
Acid flashbacks for burnt out beats & hopped up hepcat hippies who about-face their revolution.
Resurrection turned into revenue, greeting you welcome to the establishment.
Pryor engages far from the lap of luxury as life profane detonates into a freebase mushroom cloud; a goliath scorched-earth scourge of raincoat cinema & pornotraffic Rasputins.
Lunatics all, taking over the asylum with high Priest Lenny Bruce at the top of the food chain.
The masquerade holding the middleground is nothing but suicide on the installment plan with arsenic, strychnine & hemlock a beckoning reminder of sinister revelations from eons ago foretelling that geniuses are people out of balance with the world - completely wacko.
For all the emporers with no clothes is it any wonder if the cruellest kings are no more than court jesters?

Fertile fields cultivate in vanilla valley; the intention to send systems out to pasture with helicopters firing missiles into suffragettes pulling weeds.
The shoes of the Fisherman's wife are nothing but jive ass slippers and stick-thin, elastic band Eurotrash are the latest trendy fad of wafer-thin SuzyCreamCheese bitches who worship heiress spunkbarge socialites.
With tattoos of either a playboy bunny or butterfly, they all hairspray the ozone & while Bogey n' Bergman kiss on-screen in the background with Bacall waiting in the wings, they disappoint immensely by not introducing seppuku as the last act in their daily repertoire.
If only they'd find their way to a sword.
If only to take a last ride on a ferris wheel stable of top-heavy Russ Meyer women or vanish into distant memory with silent ultra vamp-vixens later to be immortalized in art.
Instead Lesley Hornby looks like a poster girl for 12-step programs combatting anorexia-bulimia, Norma Jean has yet to breakout into bombshell and Bettie Mae from Nashville kickstarts the very definition of retrosleaze-nostalgia despite having found God & estranged on different fronts depending on the view side.
On the search for Debra Winger, we came back to Bailey Quarters, coming to the conclusion that comparative-narrative sinks like quicksand.
Such is the landscape for mere words - everything pandas n' polar bears n' Apples n' Moon Units. Such is the universal misfortune of disadvantaged mental geography.

Growth from root to vine finds expedient valkyrian scapegoats touched by ever-spreading tentacles.
Bumpersticker PHD's declare comic books & Elvis termites in moral fabric.
And then psychiatric drugs & subversions such as menage-a-trois sex denounced as satanic agents of anarchy.
Double-edged blades & burning bridges are an arsenal in the cabal of shadowy cancermen conspirators & criminals.
After half a century of disastrous camping maybe God can forgive but the fish will never forget.
From bombers to bank-robbers, we obsess over infamy, notoriety n' death wondering if a Tommy gun gangster's cock really is in the Smithsonian.
Theorizing on an obscene crime of the century furnished with casting couch & champagne bottle insertions or wondering why costumed superheroes are no longer as intriguing or intrepid as the archnemesis villains.
A far cry from the philosophy of freedom & forward progression by French thinkers; men who thought, thought, thought & then did nothing with their thinking.
The subterfuge of sanity & reason has evacuated into vigilante apologism where outrage for atrocity is firmly embedded in the soil of impotence akin to the castration of the UN.
Where Wannsee conference stormtroopers only follow orders from bastard generals & Buddhist monks set themselves ablaze in protest.
Propaganda rejuvenation & frozen moments in time impress upon the mind strangely that truth is in danger of fiction.
Slave-driven Tibet plummets & slave labor Nike profits while the Bill of Rights is bound by barbed wire n' brutally butchering bayonets as oinker officers slop at their troughs in the knowledge that undertakers n' saloon keepers never starve.

Movement is life in referendum short changed even further on already shoestring budgets.
Stalemate n' gridlock is crypto-abstract blockage with dreams being answers to questions we haven't learned to ask.
Through memorybank withdrawl, people can be the key to unobstruction & when all else fails, individuality is a sledgehammer.
While the mystery of sleep is subject to the sabotage of slumber, we fall prey to the dangers of nightmares from which there are no return.
The paranormal & supernatural are but sideshow distractions in the war of double-vision dimensional realms demanding where we decide to remain grounded.
Even astrology vs. astronomy can be reduced to the simplest of divisions & chosen decisions - in here vs. out there.
Self-awareness is motion.
Alert & awake so that even armageddon will not fail to act as an alarm while in the adversity of living, home n' heaven is both honeymoon & hell.
We are heavy on evangelical hypocrisies such as Sister Aimee & her adulterous infidelity and desensitized yet fatally amused by panic-rage killers such as Jonathan Schmitz.
Aurora borealis is the commentary on the soul of voice that speaks the truth for peace & tranquility to stamp out empty gesture.
Just as singing beside bagpipes or in a barbershop quartet or solo standing naked on a rooftop, flat-out fucked & screaming "I am what I am", is a display that defines emotions - however old-fashioned or outright crazy.
Ultimately human expression is a textbook confession of either honest sincerity or false integrity of what we see n' decipher.
Where actions determine who we are once & for all in our final attitudes - benevolent or barbarian in our quest to outdo oblivion.